Write Carefully, It's Permanent Ink...

 

Hi!

Meet Super FireHeart! The Valentine superhero you didn't know you needed! 

She's kind, she's smart, she's brave, she's resourceful, and knows her way around a tub of legos. 

For those who believe that progress has robbed our littles of imagination... relax.

Kids are kids are kids. They haven't changed in any fundamental way for a very long time. Given some poster paper, a toilet paper roll, some space and time, anything can happen. You add a beach cover-up, and a bit of string, and you have hours of play. 

I'm sure parents in days of yore, fretted about what kind of crazy nightlife electricity would encourage. Then came the radio, then movies, then the telephone, then television... you get what I mean. 

Sprinkled in there came card games, board games, and, yes, video games. The evolution of each, pretty incredible. 

It's the same with music, I'm sure the stick-up-the-butt- group during the flapper era pretty much crapped their pants the first time they ever saw a couple dance a tango. (The original dirty dance)

Some parents of each generation seem convinced, if not determined to find a threat in what ends up being simple progress. 

If history shows us anything about this, it's that the evil that is perceived to be embedded in progress rarely, if ever, lives up to the hype.

I mean, rock and roll, didn't actually emaciate the souls and morals of the youth in the 1950's.

Ozzy Osbourne is not, as it turns out, the prince of darkness.

Playing vinyl records backward did not, actually or factually, invite satan into your home. 

Spicy album cover art does not, not even a little bit, turn you into a sex addict.

I mean the list of fears is endless, really. 

So, for those freaked out by progress. Relax.

Engage in it so you can understand it better. Engaging helps understanding, which then can help alleviate fears pretty quickly. If your kid likes playing video games a little too much for your liking, provide entertaining alternatives. Get them out for a game of catch, a bike ride, a walk, just spend time. Try to understand this is what hanging out with your friends looks like now. Not for all kids, but for some. 

Provide opportunities for your kids to try different things, you never know what might light them up. It might not be anything you are interested in, or particularly find enjoyable, but that's completely irrelevant. If this is, indeed, truly about them, their likes, their well-being, any negative opinion you may have about any particular activity is best kept to yourself. 

Our job as parents and adults involved in the lives of our littles and not-so-littles, is to encourage and support what makes them shine, even if we don't get it, don't understand it, or think it's dumb. 

If you throw shit at what makes their heart shine, you start to make them second-guess themselves. They start adjusting who they are to fit in the box you are building for them. Adjustment can develop into contortion, eventually twisting themselves in knots, trying, struggling to find the tattered remnants of the shine they were once so sure of. 

Words, facial expressions, and initial reactions when a tender-aged heart becomes brave enough to introduce you to something they love have tremendous power. Use them kindly, use them lovingly, use them wisely. You're unconsidered reflex will live in the mirror for them for the rest of their lives. 

It will follow them. Especially if it's not just a one-off. They will hear the echoes of your disdain in their minds before every test, during every tryout for a team, every audition, in every job interview.

Your words and actions have a heavy hand in writing the foreword of the story that will become their life. Write carefully, it's permanent ink. 

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May we all take a breath, and see that the world is still a beautiful place, filled almost exclusively by good humans. 

May we remember what it's like to have fun simply for fun's sake, and do that. A lot. 

If You're One Of The Lucky Ones...

 

Hi!

So, what is that old saying? "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?"

Look, even though this fancy boob vice isn't technically a 'prevention' as much as an early detector, you get the drift.

And, until they come up with a better way of early detection for breast cancer, this is what we got.

I can't help but think if we had more people with breasts in whatever kind of engineering field comes up with medical equipment, there would already be another way.

Unfortunately, it's another field where balls outnumber boobs. If those who design these contraptions had the displeasure of having their danglers made pancake-thin both vertically, and horizontally, every couple of years... just sayin'

Thankfully, those who run the place are kind, considerate, and very professional. Even if every mammogram you've ever had has been nothing but clear, it's always in the back of your mind, that this might be the one. This could be the one that finds something. Something bad. 

But, you try to put all of that aside as you enter the linen closet-sized change space to take off your shirt and bra to sport the hospital gown to be worn backward for obvious reasons. 

Then you enter the small room that is about 3 degrees shy of a sauna. As a world champion-level hot flasher, especially when sprinkled with anxiety, under the direction of wearing no deodorant... I mean...  Then you assume the position, correction... positions... plural. At this point, you are tugged, stretched and twisted to have your flesh conform to the cold surface, (which I'm not mad about, by the way) by the hands of a total stranger. A kind, considerate stranger, but a stranger, all the same. 

You disassociate to a degree. This is a superpower known to, if not all women, most. With every pap, during every labour and childbirth, during biopsies... you get it. Or, maybe it's just me? But, I doubt it. You separate yourself from the discomfort. After all, you can do anything for a few minutes. Another necessary evil. Yay.

Then... you wait.

In case they need to redo an image, in case you need to get an ultrasound, in case...

For me, for this moment in time, anyway, I received the all-clear. Lucky. That's really all it is.

We do everything we can to take preventative measures, we do all the things, but what it boils down to, really, is genetics and luck.

I've known too many people who have survived breast cancer, and way too many who haven't. 

Is a mammogram fun? Absolutely not. Should we all do it anyway? Without a doubt.

If you're one of the lucky ones, it will give you peace of mind... at least until next time.

If you're one of the unlucky ones, it will give you a chance to still be here for next time. To be here for all the things. 

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May you be lucky. Always.

Their Faces Say Everything...

 

Hi!

So this is the time of year when winter starts feeling long.

Where we live, days are still very short. Right now, today, the sun rose at 8:31am and will set at 6:18pm.

So, I think, because of this, I find myself sifting through pictures of long days and slow-motion sunsets. 

The groundhog did his thing, pointing out the obvious. Yes, we will have 6 more weeks of winter... if we're very lucky, it will ONLY be 6 weeks. 

We are likely in for a few more dips into a deep freeze, you know, the kind, where it hurts to breathe outside. Even more likely, a few more snow dumps. Chances are, there will be some freezing rain and horrible winds sprinkled in for a bit of variety. 

But, and it's a big but... 

We live where tornados happen, but they are smaller, and not nearly as prevalent as they are in other parts of the world. 

We live where hurricanes don't happen at all. 

We live, and are randomly fortunate to do so,  where devastating earthquakes just don't exist. 

It seems that every place on earth has its own positives and negatives. Its own pros and cons for living there. 

Some reasons are human-controlled, like a particular country's quality of life, including healthcare policies, the way it governs, and the respect with which it treats all of its citizens... all of them. 

Some reasons are purely natural. The mountain ranges, the rain forests, the snowfall, the rainfall, or the lack of either of those. The tropical breezes, the blizzards, and everything in between. The earthquakes that can be barely felt, and those that completely destroy entire families, neighbourhoods, and cities. 

The changing climate has put a finger on the scale.

Tornadoes are getting bigger and stronger, as are hurricanes and snowstorms. Wildfires are getting worse. And all of these things are happening more often, and in places they didn't use to. 

I will be the first to acknowledge that I have no idea if earthquakes are affected by climate change. I'm going to do some reading, but as I write this, I simply don't know.

The horrendous devastation of the people of Turkey is heartbreaking. 

Watching the rescue workers pull living people, actual survivors, including a 10-day-old baby from the rubble, days after the quake happened, is incredible. 

The loss of thousands of lives, and the destruction of the brick and mortar buildings are crushing. To watch the families and friends of the lost stand by, waiting for closure, their hope diminishing with every passing hour, is so incredibly sad. Their faces say everything. 

It's encouraging to see rescue teams from all over the world drop everything and run to help. 

We are still capable of real humanity... when we want to be.

I guess my question is... why don't we want to a lot more often. 

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May every piece of news that comes down the pike depict the best of what humanity has to offer.

May we be overwhelmed with events that have everyone laughing, leaving no one to suffer. 

May we be better to each other, to our surroundings, to ourselves. 

Hugs Are Magic...

 

Hi! 

"Take care of yourself."

 

Something we say. Kind of like the "How are you?" "Fine, thanks, and you?" thing. 

But, what does it actually mean?

There are those who do everything 'right'. They never drink, never smoke, eat healthily, exercise regularly, and still, and yet, they still end up with illnesses that carry them away. 

There are those who seemingly live without any of these restrictions, these boundaries, these rules, who live active lives well into their golden years. 

Then, there are the rest of us. 

We live imperfect lives, we develop habits that aren't necessarily conducive to encouraging longevity, crossing our fingers that none of them come back to bite us later on. Some of these habits take deep root, others, not so much. We eat healthily, at least some of the time, we have the odd drink, here and there, we exercise on purpose once in a while, but get most of our activity through our day-to-day. 

Stuff can happen to anyone. And it does.

So, taking care of ourselves. What does it mean?

I am far from any kind of expert on the subject, but here's what I think.

We do our best.

What is supposed to be good for us seems to change with every study that comes down the pike. Dairy is good for you, until it's not. Eggs are good for you, then they're not, then they are again. Drink coffee, don't drink coffee. Walking is better than running, or maybe it's the other way around. 

There are a bunch of companies out there selling their potions, their fitness equipment, their high protein, low fructose, gluten-free diet, and fitness flavours of the week. 

Personally, I don't think human evolution works at a pace that warrants all of the lightning round changes. It's impossible to keep up. So, I don't.

No sugar, no gluten, no dairy, high protein, low carb, impossible meat, counting calories, counting steps, tracking micro things... 

While they continue to figure out how to use our natural fear of aging, and watching our bodies do the same, the healthiest thing about them is the profit they turn by stoking our fear of the inevitable.

The truth is this. We all die.

We start to die the minute we are born. 

Taking care of ourselves is broader, deeper, and wider than simply watching what we eat and going for a walk.

Taking care of ourselves means nourishing relationships, feeding them with laughter and conversations about everything and nothing all at once. It means doing what we can to stay on the planet to enjoy those relationships for as long as we can, leaving room for a little cake and ice cream. 

It means taking time to do nothing. Without guilt. We have it drilled into us from the time we start school that doing nothing is a bad thing. I don't think it is.

We can't just be here, on this planet, to work. To work to buy stuff, buy places to put that stuff, fill it, then have to buy bigger places to hold more stuff, only to die and leave behind a big pile of stuff for our loved ones to deal with. 

We can't. That can't be all there is to it. 

When you stop to think about the legacy... the mark you want to leave on the world when you leave it, what does it look like? 

Everyone will have a different answer, as well they should. 

Whatever your answer, let your actions drive you in that direction. 

So, eat the cake. Maybe not every day, but have some.

Listen to your body before it hits you over the head with something big. Listen to the little things.

Laughter is better for you than any flavour of the week.

Our only true legacy lies in the memories we create with the loved ones we will inevitably leave behind. 

Oh yeah, and... Hugs are magic. 

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May we all take a look at what hits hardest when we allow memories of lost loved ones flood in.

May we do our best to leave behind a legacy of happy tears.

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