Summer Skies And Simple Pleasures...

 

Hi!

Summer skies and simple pleasures. 

July 2023, the hottest month on the planet in human history. 

To what degree humanity has contributed to this mess is being debated by people much more knowledgeable about this subject than I am, so I will leave that up to them. But, unless you live with your head buried so deep in the sand that you can't feel the sun, you have some kind of inkling, some kind of understanding of the shift in weather patterns, the increasing severity, frequency, and extremes of the storms, drought, flooding, and wildfires that we seem to be facing, constantly.

Like I said, to what degree humans contribute, seems to be, more or less, dependent on who you talk to or which articles you read, but I look at it this way. Even if what we do has only a small impact, shouldn't we do what we can to mitigate whatever we can mitigate? I mean shouldn't the goal always be to do the least amount of damage possible?

Have we become so egocentric that we believe the planet 'needs' us?

If we are dumb enough to, at some point, bring about our own extinction, the planet, Earth, will be absolutely fine. She survived and thrived long before we became upright, and I'm sure will do so again long after we are gone. 

The most ancient civilizations, and I'm talking about the ones that existed before greed became a thing, understood this. Honouring Mother Earth, by this and any other name, was everything. Not because it was trendy, hell societies didn't even know each other existed, but because they understood that gratitude for what nature had to offer was, for lack of a better word, spiritual. 

Somewhere in the journey of evolution, we got lost.

We are a people who traded gratitude for greed. As societies became more advanced, more sophisticated, leaders began to believe their own hype, which lead to ego-driven policies that brought about classism, racism, and holy wars. 

Somehow, somewhere along the way, putting forth that one group of people is in some way more superior to another, separated by colour, religion, wealth, or some combination thereof, became the way the world works.

Mother Earth became an afterthought. Accumulating stuff, and forcing those we deemed 'less than' into submission, in one way or another, became what was later labeled as progress. 

Those who came to be in power learned quickly how they benefitted from separating people. Convince them they have nothing in common, convince them that they are enemies, convince them that my (insert race, religion, or level of wealth here) superiority is the only way to move forward successfully.

Can you imagine if we, the cogs of the wheels that make the world turn, decided, just decided, that all of it is just bullshit? That those who have are somehow better than those who don't. Bullshit. That one religion somehow brings you closer to heaven over another. Bullshit. That you have to be religious to be moral. Bullshit. That one group of people are more worthy of romantic love than another? Bullshit. That someone receiving the same rights and privileges you do somehow diminishes yours? Bullshit. The list is pretty much endless, really.

Can you imagine?

If we contribute knowingly, or out of willful ignorance, to creating a world in which we, as humans, are forced into extinction, we deserve it. 

I mean, aren't we supposedly the smartest species on the planet? Maybe the time has come to prove it. 

So, for now...

Maybe, instead of prioritizing leaving some kind of indelible mark on the planet as some kind of misguided, imaginary proof of our importance, we should strive to leave the smallest imprint possible. 

Mother Earth owes us nothing. We owe her everything.

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May we make the changes, both big and small, that we need to, to survive, 

Preserving a space where our great great great grandbabies can live, laugh, dance, and thrive.

We Need All Of Who We Are...

 Hi!

So this is what happens when you clean out the fridge. 

A couple of tomatoes that were on the verge of getting squishy, some leftover chicken, bits of cheese, some green onion, some mini-sub buns, etc. The cookies, well grandbabies were coming with short notice, I had some butter, eggs, remnants of a variety of chocolate, and other bits, well...cookies. (The favourite kind thus far, apparently)

Leftover ingredients from things that were planned. The extras. The bits and pieces set aside, not needed, but, not deserving of being tossed out. 

We all have them. The bits, the pieces. Things that were set aside, not needed, but not garbage.

They are the things we have from birth or we develop as we go through life, or some combination thereof.  We need pieces of every aspect of ourselves to walk through our time here. 

I've said it before. No one gets through life without scars. It's simply not possible. Some are deeper than others. Some barely scratched the surface, but still leave a mark. Some are a result of happy, exuberant occasions that spark beautiful memories. Some are horrid reminders of trauma we fight to muck our way through on a constant basis. 

We all have them. The bits, the pieces.

When something big happens we put together what we need to make it to the other side of whatever it is. Whether it's a happy thing like a wedding, or sad, like a funeral. The things we plan tend to be the happy things, the meals, if you will. The sad things tend to hit a bit more out of left field, without the luxury of preparation. We use what's left.

The happy things see our best ingredients. We have time to prepare, get everything in order, making sure we have everything we need to make it great. 

When sad things hit, trauma, we tend to clean out the fridge. 

Happy things, though happy by definition, can, and often do, include stress. But we deal with it using our fridge right full of fresh ingredients, because we knew it was coming, we were expecting the stress. We were ready.

Sad things, well, these hits get whatever is left after day-to-day grinding, running to activities, work, laundry, homework, bills... We pull from our ingredients little by little to take care of all the things. Then, tragedy strikes. We haven't had time, we didn't know this was coming, we are far from prepared, we weren't able to stock up and brace ourselves, so the sad things in our lives get the bits left over.

The thing is, sometimes, in fact, a lot of the time, the most incredible things are built from the bits. Think of your favourite comfort foods... the soups, the stews...

In a perfect world, our resources would never become depleted. We would have a perpetually full fridge, brimming with nothing but the best quality ingredients to draw from. 

That's not the real world. The real world requires us to use all of our bits, the warm and fuzzy bits, even the hard and crusty bits, making the most of what we have, creating comfort from the things we were tempted to throw away. 

We need all of who we are. Every bit is integral to our success. Don't throw away pieces of who you are, you never know when you might need them. 

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May you celebrate every part of you, even the parts that are tough to acknowledge. They all brought you to who and where you are. 

Teach Them That They Are Powerful...

                             

Hi!

Soooooooo, consequences.

As kids, they are tough to understand, hard to take, hard to adhere to, hard to swallow. They are necessary to guide our inexperienced littles toward empathy, compassion, and every other basic sense of right and wrong. 

Simple things like, don't hurt others on purpose. Be respectful of other people's boundaries. Be respectful of other people's belongings. Your words are powerful, use them wisely. 

As we get older, become teenagers, in part because of guidance or lack thereof, in part because of the way we are wired, we begin making bigger choices. Who we hang out with, what we do when we aren't around our parents or family, how we treat people when no one is looking... choices.

It is within this hormone-infused. finding our footing, wing-testing frame of time we tend to discover that there are certain situations, certain circumstances, certain conundrums, where we have to choose between right and wrong. We have to choose, knowing we might get away with it, at least in the short run. We have to choose if whether "getting caught" is the only thing that stops us from doing things we know we shouldn't. 

This is a crucial time for growth as a person. A time of deciding just what kind of person you what to be. Deciding how you want to walk through your life. Deciding what kind of example you want to be to those who look up to you. It's not easy, in fact, that's a huge understatement, it's hard as hell. 

Chances are, if, throughout your childhood, reasonable consequences for choices made were doled out with a steady and consistent hand, by the time you reach this point, unless it goes completely against the way you are wired, you have, at the very least, a fairly solid comprehension of how the world works.

Choices have consequences. Good choices tend to lead to good consequences. Bad choices, well, not-so-good consequences.

Nobody makes perfect choices throughout a lifetime. Not possible. But if we knowingly make decisions that affect ourselves and/or others in a negative way, the not-so-great consequences, even if not immediate, will eventually catch up to us.

Karma, for lack of a better name, can be a bitch, but can also be a blessing. Depends on your decisions. 

Does this mean bad things never happen to people who are inherently decent? Of course not. Because life isn't perfect.

Does this mean good things never happen to people who set the world on fire every chance they get? Nope on that one too. Not a perfect world.

Does this mean we just roll over and wait for Karma? Nope there too. That's why we have a justice system. It too, is far from perfect, but it does work, at least most of the time. It could use some huge improvements, and hopefully, they will come over time, but until then, it's what we've got.

So parents... Consistent, reasonable consequences, partnered with explanations, go a long way in helping your littles develop into good decision-makers. Allowing them to make small, negligible decisions at an early age helps them to understand the existence of consequences. 

It's important, this development, this growth. For without it, especially if a child is wired toward apathy, they can become self-involved, unempathetic people with little or no regard or respect for others. They tend to wrap themselves in the belief that the world and others in it, owe them. A living, loyalty, money, a place to live, a date, etc, etc, etc. 

Decency becomes something they look at with disdain in the rearview mirror. 

Developing empathy, decency, and kindness is harder for some, but weathering the headaches and heartaches to teach it is well worth it.

Teach them that they are powerful and they need to use those powers for good. 

Life is tough. The more people we have walking the planet who can be empathetic, kind, and accepting, the better off we will all be. 

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May we all help our littles become inherently decent bigs.

 

Time Is Strange...

Hi!

Time is strange. This week, my hubby and I celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary. It feels simultaneously like yesterday, and a lifetime ago. 

It's been anything but boring up to this point, and I have no reason to think it will get anywhere close to it moving forward. There have been peaks and valleys, we've celebrated blessings and have suffered losses. We've pretty much run the gambit of marital vows, loving each other through richer, poorer, sickness, health, through each darkness and every light. 

Partners.

For us, that has meant marriage, that's what we choose each and every day. Marriage isn't for everyone, but I do believe everyone needs a partner, so to speak. That may or may not include romance, but it most definitely means unfettered, ride-or-die-level friendship. Maybe you prefer a roommate, maybe you like living alone. You're ride-or-die doesn't necessarily need to be in your day-to-day. They are the person or people you know you can rely upon. The ones who will drop whatever is going on if you need them to. 

They are the ones that have experienced you at your worst, and love you anyway. They are the ones that show up first, with wine, chocolate, ice cream, a bat, whatever the situation requires, and ask questions later. 

You recognize them, these kindred souls, when you meet. Romantic or not, there's a connection. Instantly comfortable, like you've known each other forever. Easy. 

Nurture those relationships, never take them for granted, for life doesn't come with guarantees of tomorrow. 

Yes, time is strange. Even with my hips, knees, and hot flashes reminding me on the daily that I'm not 20 anymore, I still have to pause and do the math if I'm asked my age, without warning. 

Of course, I know my daughters are all in their 30's, but it still feels like yesterday that they were all snuggling with me on the couch watching cartoons. They are grown, wonderful adults, but I still get glimpses of my babies now and then. A certain movement, a look in the eyes, a grin... it hits. There you are

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May you find and cherish the souls that fit with yours.

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