We Live In A World...

 

Hi!

It seems every generation, as they reach an age that sees them at the end of their time in the workforce, as they have another 'coming of age' moment, as the time comes to pass the baton of running the place to the next, younger generation, it seems the ones relinquishing power, are completely convinced of the incompetence of the generation next in line. 

Now, if that were to be true, that the whole of these upcoming generations are incompetent, soft, misguided, and whatever else you may think they are, does that not fall on how they were raised? At least, somewhat?

Now, I don't know about you, but I am a GenX parent who raised 4 millennials. They are far from soft, anything but incompetent, and if misguided means they are open and accepting of humans being given the space to thrive exactly as they wish to, who gage people on how they treat others rather than the size of their bank account, then my hubby and I misguided the hell out of them, for sure. 

The greatest generation felt the silent generation would run things into a ditch, the silent generation felt that the hippies of the baby boomer generation were going to turn things to shit for sure, boomers never held much hope for Gen X, I mean we were far too independent, were born with precious few fucks to give, and let's face it, have a reputation of being fairly feral.

This independent, feral group are the ones who have raised these millennials and Gen Z kids. 

Millennials are now in their thirties and early forties. They are raising the young end of Gen Z and the Gen Alpha kids. The kids that had formative years shaped by a worldwide pandemic, and all that it entailed. The kids who watched an insurrection on live tv. The kids that have witnessed what Hatfield and McCoy politics does, and how it filtres through into our lives. 

No, I think these next generations are exactly what the world needs. 

They are paying attention, they are watching what doesn't work. They are working solutions because hustle and resourcefulness is where they shine. They are probably more adept at rolling with the punches, thinking on the fly, and collaborating than we could ever hope to be.

They have had to have roommates because of things like student debt and the fact that a full-time job can't keep flesh and bone together without them. They know hustle, because side gigs have gone from hobby to necessity. 

They've watched us make our mistakes and have learned from them, just like we learned what not to do from those who came before us. 

Just because things have been done the same way for a long time, absolutely does not mean that it's been the best way, the only way, or can't be improved upon. 

I have no doubt that the generations to come will find ways to secure:

-bodily autonomy for all.

-the separation of church and government

-anti-hate laws

-the end to racism and discrimination of all kinds (or at least get us closer than we've ever been)

-our world's longevity through finding working solutions to the climate crises

-education that truly prepares people for the world they are growing into

It's easy to paint the world with doom and gloom, especially when there are those out there spreading conspiracy theory nonsense to the masses. It's hard to keep up with some of these theories because as the predictions never seem to come to pass, more strings are added or taken away, desperately trying to tie together whatever crazy tidbit will help their narrative seem more plausible in that moment. 

It's like trying to start a collection of unicorn poop. They keep searching, but can never quite find it. 

There are those who feel these young generations are somehow "brainwashed." Other favourites used are 'indoctrinated" or "groomed."

All of the above may be true, but not in the sense they mean.

They believe our kids and grandkids being accepting, inclusive, open, fiercely anti-racist, and non-judgmental constitutes brainwashing, indoctrinating and grooming.  Personally, I think it's just raising them to be decent humans. 

To me 'brainwashed" is something that happens when a person gets to a poison information saturation point, insisting things are true regardless of proof to the contrary. And I do mean real proof. Data put forth, peer studied, reviewed by experienced experts in the field, and tested. You know...proof. Example: The earth is not flat. The moon landing really happened. Covid is real, and the vaccines have kept countless people not only alive but from needing hospital care.These kids question everything.

Indoctrination. This one is a bit tricky because so much of our society could be constituted as indoctrination. From the first time you hear or find yourself spouting the line we all swear we will never use the "Because I said so,' we are either the indoctrinated or the indoctrinator. As soon as we ask someone to believe or obey something uncritically, without question, or as soon as we accept something in that same way, indoctrination happens It happens all the time in organized religion. You are asked to accept. To question is blasphemous. It happens in some workplaces. It happens.

Now are these younger generations indoctrinated any more than we were. I doubt it severely. These kids are more aware, more assured, more confident, more likely to stand up, as they are the first generations that have been raised knowing that they matter, that what they have to say has merit, and their ideas carry weight. Truth be told, these young ones are far less likely to become indoctrinated into anything. Period.

Groomed. A buzzword that has been repurposed to fit a narrative. Knowing the connotation attached to this word, the right-wing, book-banning, queer-discriminating fearmongers have twisted it to try and sully the movement of acceptance that these kids are fostering. They want to take a word that depicts what sexual predators do to their victims to prime them for the horrors that come next, and attach it to teaching empathy, kindness, compassion and acceptance of self and others. They want to connect these beautiful ideals to something so incredibly vile. It's sickening, really.

We live in a world where kindness is more abundant than cruelty. And that's a good thing. It's true. All you have to do is allow yourself to see it. 

If you choose to focus on the dark, pretty soon it becomes all you can see. 

Helping polish the shine on those who have been made to hide their light can only make our world brighter. Helping others sparkle will never dampen your glow, it will just add to the brilliance. 

We live in a world... so live. 

Change Is Inevitable.... Thankfully!

 Hi!

Well, it's officially Spring! Soon the snowbanks will be reduced to puddles, and fragile hints of leaves will begin to make a show of themselves.

Soon... right?

The thing is, I don't think the snowbanks got the memo. 

They are hanging on, stubbornly, fighting the inevitable, sticking around, their once pristine, untarnished, pure, white mounds becoming a dirt and salt-laced grungy mess.

That mess will eventually dissipate and become part of the groundwater. The way nature intended, leaving room for new growth, and a warmth only fully appreciated after the harshness of a particularly bitter winter.

A lot of people, well, probably most people where I live, absolutely enjoy winter. The snow, the cold, the dark. They love skiing, sledding, hockey, skating, the long nights... don't get me wrong, after all, I am Canadian, I get it. Winter does carry a semblance of romance and quiet tranquility, what with its cozy fires and hot chocolate and all. But there are those of us who simply wish it didn't last as long as it does.

The beginning of this annual melt is a fabulous reminder that nothing ever stays the same. Both things we wish would, and the things we appreciate do not. 

It's a reminder that sometimes the transition from one thing to the next can be ugly, messy, and can happen in fits and starts. There are steps backward that are sometimes necessary so that things can end up the way they need to be. Progress doesn't always happen through forward-only steps. More often than not, a few steps back are needed to let things soak in, so the scar-causing damage of the run-off that can happen if things move along too quickly...doesn't. Things change at the rate they are meant to. 

It's all progress.

It can feel scary, change, progress. Especially if it takes us into unfamiliar territory, to places we have a hard time understanding.

I still see on different platforms, people's fear of what they don't understand being thrown around. It's sad, because all of the information needed to dissipate that fear and turn it into empathy and compassion is readily available to all. But, for some reason, some insist on clinging to the antiquated misinformation of eras most of us are trying desperately to leave behind.

Change is inevitable. Thankfully. Acceptance, inclusivity, compassion, kindness, and a sense of community are what drives the next generations. 

Racism will end.

Misogyny will end.

Queerphobia will end.

If you are one of the people clinging to any piece of these misguided ideals for whatever reason, it's time to accept that it's Spring. Time for new beginnings, time to let it all melt away. You can do it in fits and starts if you need to, stepping back every now and again to get perspective, but let it all melt. 

At this point, you are clinging to nothing but the salt-laced grungy mess that doesn't belong here anymore. 

Embrace the new growth... it's happening... now you just need to decide whether or not you get left behind to wallow in the muck. 

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May we all come to understand that change is what's necessary to make the world a better place to live.

For ALL of us. 

Springing Forward...But Take Your Time

 Hi!

So the clocks have changed in many parts of the world, springing forward, so to speak. Where I happen to call home, our clocks stay the same all year long. 

I've never fully understood what changing the clocks twice a year is supposed to accomplish. Hours are not lost or gained by the position of the short hand of a timepiece. Timing is what changes, not actual time.

Time is still going to be what you make it. An hour shift makes no real difference. 

Time is currency. We spend it cultivating joy, We spend it healing from loss. We spend it nurturing relationships. We spend it at jobs to make money to support our lives.

Time is precious. Time is never guaranteed. Time is what we all take for granted at different points in our lives. 

How we spend our time changes depending on what stage of life we are living. 

When we are children, it means nothing. We spend it following whatever agenda the grown-ups in our lives lay out for us. When we become adolescents, it crawls. We are in such a hurry to be those grown-ups, thinking we know everything, knowing nothing, blissfully ignorant about the reality of what's to come. Confident in our fearlessness. Thankfully. Without that, none of us would ever be willing to learn to fly.

When we become those grown-ups, reality hits. We begin to realize that the freedoms we thought would be automatic when we were teens are laced with responsibility. Our time is still not our own. We spend it educating ourselves, forging paths that will earn money, creating and nurturing mature and not-so-mature relationships, some of us become parents, some of us don't, some of us get married, some of us don't, our paths may greatly differ, but we all use our time currency, sometimes wisely, sometimes, not so much. 

As older adults, perspective on time changes once more. The fact that there is more time behind us than in front of us becomes more real as we reflect upon the lives we've built. Does that mean we are done? Absolutely not! I think it means we simply respect the passage of time more, appreciate it more, and become a bit more careful with this precious currency. 

How we choose to spend this priceless currency matters. Life is too short to spend too much of it doing things that don't light us up. Make sure you're spending yours the way that means most to you. It's yours. It's not infinite. Use it wisely. 

Spring forward, do back flips, fall back, learn to juggle, take up ballet. Take. Your. Time. 

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May we all hold our time close to our hearts, treating it with the respect it deserves... always.

So... International Women's Day...

             So this is what March looks like where I live... and no that is not a child by that snowbank that is my youngest daughter... who is 5'8" tall...Yeah.

But that's beside the point.

It's time to celebrate International Women's Day...

So let's do that, shall we?

I think, with that in mind, it's time to, once again, take a look at what women's equality means, and some of the fairly warped views some have about that.  

There are so many big things, big discrepancies such as bodily autonomy, wage gaps, public safety issues, and the blatant misogyny that still thrives in so many aspects of our lives. But, there are also the little things. The remarks, the judgments, the assumptions, and the under-estimations.

Why do we still live in a time when most of the medical research is done using men's anatomy and then 'adjusted' for women. It makes no sense.

Why are men offered  medications to numb the pain for certain medical procedures and women are simply warned that 'this is going to be a bit uncomfortable." 

Why are women still earning $.87 on the dollar compared to men for doing the same damn jobs?

Why is it assumed that every woman wants to have kids, or be married or NOT be single?

Why are so many men threatened by the fact that more women are finding happiness being single and not a Mom? 

Why are people still confused by the notion of women's equality? It does NOT mean we want to BE men, it just means we want to be treated with equal respect, have an equal voice, and enjoy ALL of the rights and privileges given to men.

So many strides have been made, but there are those out there who want to turn back the clock, stripping us of rights we have fought so incredibly long and hard for. 

Not all masculinity is toxic, but those infected, are most threatened by female empowerment and want to stop our progress, want to drag us backward.

We haven't had the right to our own bank accounts all that long.

It wasn't that long ago that we couldn't own property on our own.

It hasn't been that long since we needed permission from our husbands to make medical decisions. 

It wasn't long ago we couldn't go into a bar without a man.

It wasn't that long ago that we couldn't vote.

It was within my lifetime that abortions were illegal, forcing women, regardless of under what circumstance, or at what age they became pregnant, to either become mothers, give the baby up for adoption, or risk their lives in some horrible back alley 'clinic.'

We are sadly, still leaps and bounds away from the courts defending us properly against things like rape, marital rape, and other forms of domestic violence.

When surveyed, women's biggest fear from men remains that they will kill us.

Men's biggest fear from women? Getting laughed at. 

We have come a long way, but are so far from getting to where we need to be.

Until women are able to stop taking precautions every time they leave the house.

Until we are as safe as men are in public, no matter where we are or what we are wearing.

Until we get paid at the same level.

Until we have the same bodily autonomy as men.

Until we stop being followed, having cameras shoved up our skirts, rubbed against, groped, forced into unwanted conversations, or made to feel we owe you our time, attention, or affection.

Until we can eliminate these things, we arent' there yet. 

We need to get there for our daughters, for our granddaughters, and for our sons and grandsons, because true equality is fantastic for all. 

No meaning no isn't good enough.

Coerced consent is NOT consent. Enthusiastic consent is the only kind that counts.

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May we teach our littles a better way to interact.

May we teach them core respect is the only way, no other way to be, no other way to act. 

May we save them from the work of unlearning the toxic things we were told.

May they become adults immune to the poisons we were all sold.

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My House May Not Be Fancy...But

 Hi!

Home.

It's so incredibly different for everyone. None are the same.

Oh, they might look similar, decor coming from the same factories, designs mass produced to appease the masses. Some look like they could be featured in magazines without a bit of notice, while others would need a minute to toss their lives into closets to make things "presentable."

Mine lingers in a purgatory of sorts. It definitely is always magazine-ready... it would simply depend on the day and the type of magazine. Think of it as a combination photo shoot... Good Housekeeping with a healthy dose of DIY Gone Not Quite Right and a sprinkle of This Is The Chaos Of The Week. Okay, I know that not all of those are real magazines, but maybe they should be. 

No, my house may not be fancy. Far from it, but it will always be welcoming, warm, safe for all, full of love, acceptance, and hugs that will hold until you're ready to break them. Within its walls are always shoulders wide and strong enough to cry on and carry the weight of your every truth, and laughter, enough laughter to lift the heaviest of clouds, even if only for a while. 

No, my house may not be fancy, but there will always be something homemade to snack on, a ton of fridge-worthy art to appreciate, and home decor made by small, inexperienced fingers. 

Home should never be taken for granted.

Too many have been forced out of theirs by storms, fire, war, rejection, and abuse to assume that all of us have choices as to where we lay our head.

So many are simply doing their best with the circumstances they are given. When decisions have to be made between paying an electric bill and groceries, when you have to say no for the millionth time to your kids for no other reason than the money is just not there, when the very basics to live are unattainable all at the same time, a lamp from Pier 1, because it's the new 'it' thing, doesn't even register on the radar of needs.

So, if you are invited into someone's home, into their personal sanctuary, suspend judgment. They are making themselves vulnerable, they know perfectly well what their house looks like, they don't need you to take mental notes, or mention one single thing you find wrong or out of place, they know. For your own sake, just allow yourself to be in their space, appreciating the fact that they allowed to enter. 

Our society seems to have been overtaken with celebrity. The lifestyles, the 'stuff', the designer this and that. These things have always been considered status symbols of sorts, why, has always personally baffled me, but it is what it is. 

It does seem, though, that with the influence,and influencers of social media, with the filtres, and staged photos, it has become a lot more prevalent. It seems self-worth is becoming hinged more and more on what you own and what you can buy instead of the kind of person you are. Good deeds only count if they are on camera. It's like if you don't get the 'likes', 'follows', and 'subs' you don't count. 

Home is not a competition. It's not like whoever has the fanciest house when they die wins. Whoever has accumulated the most stuff, the most expensive stuff...

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about enjoying life. If you can afford to have the things, take the trips, by all means, you should absolutely do all of it! Do it up! All I ask is that you don't give it more import than it deserves. 

It doesn't mean you are better, smarter, more responsible, work harder, or have done everything right... it just doesn't. Some of the hardest-working, most incredible people I know call it a great day if they can pay all of their bills for the month... and have groceries. It's an even bigger deal if they have a few pennies left over to do something just for fun, that isn't absolutely necessary. 

There is a huge swath of humans who work until their bodies want to break for whom the phrase "disposable income" is a myth, a fairytale, some magical thing they can't even imagine. 

As humans, our self-worth is not attached to stuff we can buy. We are worthy because we exist. We are worthy of dignity, love, compassion and understanding. We are worthy of being warm, fed, and cared for. We are worthy of dreaming, laughing, and having fun. 

It says so much more about how our society is set up than it ever will about the majority of people for some to have the opinion that it is somehow the fault of the poor/working poor that they are poor. That somehow, they just aren't working hard enough, long enough, that that would make the difference. 

Should people have to work 70+ hours a week to cover basic needs? We are supposed to have to work to support our lives, work should never have to become our whole lives just to survive. 

Somewhere along the way, priorities became twisted. Working to live became attached to being lazy. Living to work became the sad norm. The hustle economy/mentality should be an option, not a necessity. 

If you spend every waking hour surviving, it leaves no room for dreaming, let alone space to chase those dreams. 

How did we let this happen?

Let's fix it. Our grandbabies need us to. 

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May we fix this.