One Down... More To Come...

 Hi!

So the Grand Orange Cheeto was found guilty. Thirty-four felony counts, guilty on all of them. When the verdict came down and was read, I found myself not bathed in joyful celebration like I predicted I would, instead, the feeling that washed over me was relief. 

Relief that accountability is possible. Period. Relief that even though it feels like some people get away with being horrible humans for decades without consequence or any kind of remorse, justice can happen. Relief and belief that this is just the beginning. Precedence has now been set so that future "untouchables" can, indeed, be touched... hard. 

The sentence handed down for these particular convictions could end up landing anywhere from harsh prison time to a mere slap on the wrist. Thoughts are that it will likely fall somewhere in the middle. The important thing is that there will be one. How time will be spent will be dictated. Wings will be clipped. 

This also speaks volumes to other countries with  Cheeto wannabes trying to flex their imaginary muscles, testing the waters with their anti-woke, women's right-stripping, Queerphobic, maybe-we'll-just-keep-your-pension-til-you're-70, privatizing medical care, wink & nodding at the idea of shredding our Charter of Rights and Freedoms, and refusing to denounce white supremacy groups. It tells them that there are still rules of decency that we need to live by. It shows that there are consequences for crapping all over democracy. 

Upcoming trials will further test the stamina, the strength, and the fortitude of certain law and order institutions. They will push the limits on what cult followers are willing to swallow and believe. Upcoming elections will test us as voters. What are we willing to lose? Do we want ALL of our kids to be safe, happy, warm, accepted, fed, clothed, cherished and loved? Do we want women to be able to continue to decide when, if, and how they may want to become mothers? Do we want our healthcare to become like our neighbours' south of the border, where you can lose your house because you were unfortunate enough to get sick? 

The choices are up to us. The possibilities are endless. The skies, our only limit. 

This was the first criminal trial. The first.

One down... more to come...

Bring it. We're ready.

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The Main Character...

Hi!

I am a big advocate for a person to be the main character in their own life. It's incredibly important to not treat your life like a spectator sport. I mean, everyone needs to take a break every now and again, take a beat, and get some perspective. But a position of observation can't be allowed to last too long, or it can become a habit.

A BIG advocate of being the main character in your own life. Your... own... life.

The thing is, there are those who seem to internalize that main character energy and spew it over everyone who has the misfortune of crossing their path. You've come across people like this, you've probably gone to school with them, worked with them, hell, there are probably a couple in your own friends and family circle. 

It's like they want us to accept that they are the star of our lives as well as theirs, and we should somehow be content to play a supporting role in our own lives to accommodate their needs. Their plans, appointments, needs and wants, should be prioritized over our own. It doesn't seem to at all occur to them that we have own stuff going on.

Beware of people like this. If you are an empathetic, compassionate person who is a natural nurturer, it's easy to allow yourself to start feeling like they are right. It can be gradual, a favour that you have to shuffle stuff to accommodate, but you do it. Setting aside something you wanted to do so they can get to their thing. Before you know it, you are changing appointments, giving up plans, all to cover their shift. They'll even get pissy if you have the audacity to say no.

You can have twenty people in a room, the same room, all sitting in the same kind of chairs, for the same amount of time, but afterward, when chatting, it will sound like they were the only one that was hot/cold, the only one who found the chair uncomfortable, the only one who was in there the entirety of the time. 

Don't shrink yourself to accommodate the inflated ego of someone else. You can be kind, you can be patient, you can give grace, but never allow yourself to be swallowed up. 

You and/or your family's activity/haircut/ doctor appointment/ movie night is more important to you than whatever their plans may be. That doesn't make you selfish, it makes you the star of your own life, as you should, and deserve to be. No guilt allowed. 

This doesn't mean you can't ever do a favour, or help out. It just means you don't tie yourself up in knots trying to meet the needs and expectations of people who tend to treat you like a personal assistant. People who can't seem to peek over the edge of their own ego to see that each of us deserves to be the star of our own lives.  

Just because they like to believe that they and their lives are more important than those around them doesn't make them right. Feeding that delusion doesn't help them in the long run. At some point reality has to come into play. 

Like I said. Everyone is important. Everyone is precious. Everyone is deserving of feeling cherished. But, no one person over another. 

Be your own main character. Stand in the light. Bathe in its luster. Shine brilliantly. Take up space. Be as dazzling as you wish to be. Just leave room for others to do the same. 

Remember, you're not the only one with a numb butt from a bad chair. 

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Find The Minutes...

 

Hi!

Nothin' like cruisin' around on a beautiful night to clear the mind. 

And let's face it, sometimes the mind needs some clearing. 

At times it can feel like the world is moving at warp speed, driving drunk, blindfolded, with a short-circuiting GPS. You can begin to feel like you're being pulled in more directions than even exist. 

Sometimes the speed brings big things, sometimes a bunch of medium things, sometimes a crap load of tiny things that alone would have zero effect, but combined, feels like trying to run the hundred-metre dash in a torrential hail storm. No matter how fast you move you're gonna get hit.

So.....

When life is throwing crap and you are catching like a goalie during a slapshot drill, catching most, but, I mean, you're not perfect, (I'm Candian, ok? The odd Hockey references are a given) you have to find the minutes.

I was going say that 'this time of year' is pretty hectic, but, really, any part, any season, any time of a year is going to be hectic for somebody. So, instead, I will say this. Whenever the pace of life has you feeling overwhelmed, remind yourself to find the minutes. The minutes where you can separate yourself from the chaos, step in out of the hail, and find perspective.

With life-changing events, perspective can feel impossible. The situation can be so big that no matter how far you step back, no matter how you change the angle, no matter how many deep breaths you take, any kind of silver lining refuses to exist. The crushing weight of it seems impossible to shift. If this is the case, you have to give yourself permission to share the load. Things this big are not meant to be carried alone. Especially if you are the one who is always the helper, the lifter, the one who lightens the loads of others, especially if this is you... lean in, and let go... they can take it. Those that care for you want you to. Find the minutes that let everything out, that allow moments of joy to distract, the minutes to bring down your shoulders, unclench your jaw and take a full breath. 

With medium things, the daily things that can pile up every now and then. When something throws a sometimes metaphorical, sometimes literal wrench into your routine. When these things happen in a bit of a cluster, find the minutes. Find minutes where you can look at the situation, apply humour, especially if it's a bit inappropriate, and decide that, although whatever it is is causing a royal pain in the ass, this too shall pass. What doesn't work out the way you want will make a good story to tell later. And, really, I have found that most of the time, when things don't work out the way I want, I discover later, sometimes much later, that the whole thing was a bit of a bullet-dodge. 

With the tiny things, the things that can happen when planning an event, entering a new chapter of life, getting ready for a special occasion. When tiny shards of chaos seem to line the path from here to there with broken legos, and you have bare feet that have never so much as touched a blade of grass. When each of these things on their own wouldn't make you blink, but collectively, make you rethink your entire life, find the minutes. Again, this too shall pass. The event, the occasion, the turn of the page, will happen, legos and all. Find the minutes to pour yourself a glass of whatever blows your skirt up, sip it slowly, or chug it, you do you, and learn to say screw it. At this point, you have a decision to make. You can let the legos win, and let them drive you insane, or you can just roll with it. Adapt where you can, and screw the rest. 

All you can do is all you can do. Find the minutes to cut yourself some slack, forgive yourself for not being perfect, forgive yourself for not always being able to be all things to all people, go cruisin' on a beautiful night, and for fuck sake... unclench your damn jaw. Excuse my French... or don't. It's all good. 

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Happy Mother's Day...

 Hi!

You know, becoming a Mom is an incredible thing. It's definitely not for everyone, just like being a Dad, an entrepreneur, living in the middle of nowhere, living in a big city, living a life of travel, or being a homebody. 

If you try to force yourself to do things that you are absolutely not wired for, you will be miserable, or at least rub right up against it enough to involve HR and prompt a meeting. 

If you don't have a burning desire to be a Mom, you shouldn't be one. Period. Society needs to step away from archaic thinking and embrace the fact that women have a lot more going for them beyond growing, and raising babies. 

Being a Mom is incredible and incredibly difficult. For everyone, even the ones who knew they wanted kids before they knew how babies were made. It's hard, it's exhausting, you hope like hell you're not doing any permanent damage to their psyche, you try not to over-protect, but protect enough, you want them to learn how to adult, while still letting them be kids. It forces organization where there might not naturally be any, it requires routine, and levels of multitasking that should become an Olympic event. 

It's incredible to watch these tiny beings become toddlers, students, teenagers, adults, living their lives just as they wish to, without limitations, without compromising who they are, walking through life as generous, kind individuals, some becoming parents, some not. All living life as they see fit.

For those who have chosen motherhood to become part of who they are, celebrate. 

Relish in the eggshell-laden, interesting, combo breakfast that may come your way. Cherish the macaroni jewelry, the homemade cards, all the love. Bathe in the warmth of the teenage nonchalant grunt that may begrudgingly escape from behind a closed bedroom door. Jump in with a hell yeah when your adult children tell you to pack a bag and not ask any questions. 

Being a mom is watching your heart walk around without you. You hope you've done enough, but not too much. You hope you've imparted wisdom, such as it is, without being overbearing. You hope you've provided a balance of guidance and freedom. You hope you've taught them the importance of self-worth, kindness, and inclusivity. You hope you've taught them how to be open while simultaneously protecting themselves. 

You do. You hope. You worry. And then you get to witness them be the incredible people they were always meant to be, and thankful for the small part you were permitted to play. 

So happy Mother's Day!

Not everyone is lucky enough to still be able to say it in person, or on the phone. Some are left with whispers that evaporate into the wind, whispers that become tears full of memories. 

Say the words while you can.

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When A Curve Ball Hits...

 

Hi!

Life moves at whatever pace it chooses, whether we are ready, paying attention... or not. 

You can be going along, making plans, doing laundry, going to work, having movie nights, game nights, date nights, attending events, you know... living... and then...

Life can throw a curve ball so big, so fast, and so hard that it turns your life on its head. 

Someone I know, love, and respect has just been hit with a curve ball that would bring most to their knees. 

Stage 4 colon cancer.

She is young, smart, optimistic, hopeful, strong, and has an army of support, both on the front line and at a distance. Powerful weapons in a fight like this. Powerful, but not magic. This battle is going to redefine the word hard. It's going to push, test and stretch her fight, her body, her resolve, her relationships, her everything. 

If anyone can pull off a win... it will be her. 

When the shock of this kind of news subsides, processing the reality of it begins. 

I can't know the view from her perspective, I can't. All I can do, all any of us, really, can do, is to support her, and those with her on the front lines of this thing, as best we can.

She, and those she holds most precious have had their world twisted, distorted, they are not alone.

Too many have this level of chaos thrown at them every day.

Not all have the network of help they need, I'm grateful that this family has that unfailing support, my heart breaks for those who don't. 

This will be the fight to end all fights.

You are not alone.

This will devastate on levels not yet known.

You are not alone.

This will change all things.

You are not alone.

You will have to let people help you.

You are not alone.

You are stronger than anything you've previously imagined.

You are not alone.

You are surrounded by love that knows no bounds.

You are not alone.

Your support can hold more weight than you think.

You are not alone.

You are a proven warrior.

You are not alone.

You got this.

You are not alone.

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