Words Matter...

Hi!

Words matter.

Certain words float around in the ether that are culturally, morally, societally, and universally understood as offensive, as hurtful, as just plain wrong.

Now, before you get your panties in a twist, I am not talking about your run-of-the-mill swear words or religious-type words that make my mom cringe. 

No, I'm talking about the racially and culturally charged ones that hit the ear with the force of a baseball bat swinging for the fences and reverberate through to your soul. Back in the day, it was easier to feign ignorance. That excuse no longer works... at all. With access to unlimited information, there isn't a person in the free world that should be confused.

If these words, and the attitudes you use to justify their use, flow from you with, or without hesitation, that's a choice. You know it's wrong, you know it's racist... you know... you simply choose to do it anyway.

If these words are coming from children and teenagers you are charged with raising, they learned it from you. 

Just keep this in mind. The world at large, the one you are sending them into, ceased to accept or tolerate these words or attitudes decades ago.

When you know better, you do better. 

You can't pretend you don't know better. Not. Any. More. 

Save the clutching of the pearls when what you say offends others. Save the scoffing like people are just being over-sensitive. Just save it.

Intentional and continued pretense of ignorance tells all of us who you are.

It speaks to your core character.

It speaks to how you see the world and how see yourself fitring in it.

It speaks to how you see anyone who lives outside of the tiny boxes you feel comfortable with. 

If you are still confused.

Words like that are NEVER ok. There is not a circumstance that exists in which it becomes even almost, remotely okay. Not in a joke. Not in a song. Not in reference. Just no. 

There aren't that many words that fall under this category. 

It's not that freakin' hard. If you find it difficult, maybe it's time for some deep introspection.  

Strip away the pretenses and excuses you give others and yourself, and dig into the real "why" behind your belief system. Behind your attitude. Behind your words. 

It has been my experience that if someone is willing to let racial slurs fly, then homophobic, body shaming, differently-abled ridiculing, and others, spew just as easily. 

In using these slurs, what is the goal?

If it's to present yourself to the world as a backward-thinking bigot, congratulations. Mission accomplished. 

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Good Times Are Coming...

 

Hi!

Sometimes life is just hard. 

Full stop.

At times, it can feel like a darkness trying to swallow you whole. The only news you seem to be getting is bad news. The little things that go wrong begin to stack up, adding to the big stresses that are being dumped on your doorstep. You begin to feel destabilized, shaky, like the next thing regardless of how small, just might be the last thing you can handle without collapsing under the weight. 

These phases of life seem to happen to some people more than others. there doesn't seem to be rhyme nor reason. They happen regardless of how kind, how cruel, how accepting, how bigoted, how powerful, how absolutely average you are. But, as far as the stick of life goes, some definitely get handed the shitty end more than others. 

I'm not sure if that helps prove, disprove, or changes in any way, the concepts of karma, universal fate, or whatever, but these are my thoughts on the subject...

I think that everything that comes to us while we walk this earth is brought to us to teach us something about ourselves we have yet to learn, and need to know. Easy times can teach us just as much as hard ones. We find out if good fortune makes us more or less greedy. We find out if hard times make us bitter. We find out if, when things are going swimmingly, we remain grateful, or begin to feel entitled. We find out if, when things are moving along like a tornado within a hurricane on top of an earthquake, we can remain grateful, or do we surrender our joy. 

When things are going great, enjoy it! Celebrate it! Bathe in it! Soak it in! These are the times that fortify us for when things get tough. These are the memories we draw from in times of grief or loss of any kind, really. 

When things are going great, it's easy to start taking things for granted. It's easy to slip into a mindset that somehow we deserve nothing but good times, that we must be, in some way, just a little bit better than those whose lives don't sail along without a storm in site. Then, when something dark inevitably creeps from the shadows, we feel "why me" syndrome take hold. 

It takes hold, we aren't perfect. Of course it does. We just can't allow ourselves to lay down a foundation and build our life there, regardless of how seductive and easy that feels. Why me? Why not me is a much better question. 

When things get dark, although it can be a struggle, we are only human after all, it becomes more important than ever to hang on to every glimmer of light we can find, no matter how faint, how small. Sometimes, it's wearing super cute hats on chemo day, and all the days in between. Sometimes it's hanging out with those that matter to you most, simply catching up. Sometimes it's cranking music and dancing with the confidence of a sugar-buzzed toddler. Sometimes it's watching funny dog videos and old movies that you know make you laugh. Sometimes it's allowing yourself room to cry it out, cleansing the soul. 

If the glimmers elude you, please reach out. Someone will help bridge the gap between the grips and the grace. They may not do it perfectly, with the perfect words, but they can connect you to a space bigger than the weight of your stress, creating room to breathe. 

Find the little things, and hold them tight, good times are coming... 

Please Take Care...

 

Hi!

It's incredible to think that as a person takes these serene, whimsical, pretty autumn photos, a once-in-a-lifetime, crazy hurricane is making its way toward land, possessions, and fellow humans.

It's only been a couple of weeks since the last devastating hurricane carved its path through some gorgeous places that are vulnerable to these kinds of storms and the wrecking-ball aftermath that follows.

It baffles the mind to think that some are choosing to stay in its wake. They seem do this for various reasons. They don't believe it will be that bad, they are striving for clout on social media, and/or they think that somehow their presence will, in some way, save their property. You throw in a dose of conspiracy theories espousing people of a certain faith and political background are, somehow, magically, garnering the power needed to manipulate entire weather patterns, and I guess it explains at least part of the mystery of what keeps them there. 

Yes, where I live, the temperatures can drop to dangerous depths for at least a quarter of the year.

Yes, where I live, the temperatures can rise to dangerous heights for about six weeks out of the year.

Yes, we have devastating droughts.

Yes, we have devastating hail/thunderstorms and winds with the odd tornado thrown in for good measure, that on their own or in combination, have the power to level entire crops. 

But...

We don't have shattering earthquakes, or hurricanes. At least not yet. The way the weather patterns are ramping up, changing, and shifting, I imagine it's only a matter of time. I doubt it will be my lifetime, but, hey, who knows? 

My hope of hopes is that this storm won't be as horrible as the meteorologists are predicting, and that no one gets hurt because they stayed. Sadly, the reality will likely not reflect those wishes.

Mother Nature has a way of flexing her power whenever the mood suits her. We measly humans are but spectators. We can do what we can to protect ourselves, evacuate, shelter in place, the best thing... follow local emergency authorities' instructions. 

We, as a human race get caught up in ourselves, our egos, our agendas. Some go out of their way to make life miserable for others. Some go out of their way to make life inclusive, and safe for others. Some ignore all of it. 

Mother nature cares not what your belief system entails, whether or not you belong to an organized religion, the colour of your skin, or who you love. She flexes equally across the board, without mercy. 

For those in this monster's path, please stay as safe as possible. For those of us who live beyond its devastation, let's just do whatever we can to help. 

Please take care. 

But Were They Though???...

 

Hi!

I don't know about you, but I hear quite often how people are missing the so-called good old days. They are nostalgic for a rose-coloured image from a rearview mirror that distorts the perception into some romanticized version of the past. 

Most of the people I hear this from are included in a specific demographic. Privilege. 

If, in the past you, weren't allowed to buy a house, or rent one, for that matter, get a credit card, have a bank account, dress the way you like, love who you love, marry who you want to marry, felt that your biology didn't match your soul, or had a complexion other than translucent, chances are, you have zero desire to travel back in time. 

Personally, with every step of acceptance, with every move toward inclusivity, as generationally, the human race becomes less mayo-esque in hue, I find myself feeling more and more at peace with the world. 

There are certain parcels of people who want to shove people back into the closets they were forced to hide in. Trying to claim that the whole of the LBGTQ+ community are, somehow, newcomers to society.

If you look back far enough you will find that centuries ago, our rainbow warriors were revered as the rare and beautiful unicorns they are. It was a subtle shift in society, slowly, as men stopped wearing tights and wigs and society came to believe that "others" needed to be owned, suppressed, hidden, and/or simply destroyed, that treatment of those who no longer fit in these ever-tightening societal 'norms' went completely off the rails. 

As organized religions became more powerful, seizing ownership of everyone's moral compass, claiming the "my beliefs are correct and the rest of you are damned" mentality, they began to make their own rules, turning their religious beliefs into laws for all. 

Now, the religions with the wealthiest members, 99.9% white, of course, made the most rules, colonizing, forcing themselves both literally and metaphorically upon fellow humans, wherever their money took them. They stole children under the guise of salvation, they imprisoned, they enslaved, they abused, whip in one hand and a bible in the other. 

Then, in very recent history, new generations began to recognize the poison. and started to push for change. Civil unrest became the instrument, the antidote, to make it possible. Young people who were willing to push against the antiquated thinking of their parents and grandparents, changed the world. 

Progress became tangible. 

This was the trend... for a while.

No there aren't all of a sudden way more rainbow warriors, people of colour, or more of any group some would like to label as "other" than there ever were. 

The only thing that changed is the migration from the dark corner of collective closets into the sun.

The only thing that changed is the fact that rights for equality were just beginning to take a small hold.

The only thing that changed is that women are done asking for equality and are beginning to demand it.

There aren't more, just more visible.

Then, those who have held all of the power for far too long began to feel threatened by the changes they began to see. And the "otherizing" began once again.

Once again, rainbow warriors became targets of hate, along with anyone who didn't fit in their white, tiny boxes of "normal."

Once again, women's bodily autonomy was pulled back.

Once again, people of certain colours or religions are experiencing overt and blatant prejudice.

If you find yourself feeling nostalgic for yesteryear, thinking that times were simpler, times were easier, times were better... were they, though?

Well, maybe they were for you, but not for everyone. 

Let go of a past that contains way more darkness than our history books would lead us to believe. Accept the fact that white people, who are the ones who wrote the history books by the way, were much more often the villain, especially during the last few centuries, than they ever were the hero.

Looking ahead, now that we know better, we have every opportunity to do better. 

We owe it to those who come after us to do just that.

Vote for the changes to create a society your great-grandbabies, the great-grandbabies of those you care for, and all future generations can thrive in, and will be able to look back on with pride. 

All we can do, with our short time on this planet, is try to steer society in a direction our descendants will be able to study and see we did our part to do right by every human. 

Let's do everything we can so that when they look back, they don't have to be ashamed of the actions of their ancestors the way we are. 

Let's do this. 

We are not doomed to repeat the shameful mistakes of those who came before us. We simply have to choose not to. 

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