The Home Stretch...

Hi!

So, where I call home, once the new year gets underway, it kind of starts feeling like the home stretch of winter is upon us.

Does that mean the days are longer?.... Well, yes, but we are getting there about as quickly as a snail crosses the length of a football field. Each day brings a minute or two of extra daylight. As crazy as it seems, it does make a difference, even if it's a small one, at least to me. 

In life, there are countless times we find ourselves in a home stretch of something. Home stretch of school, home stretch until we are on our own, home stretch planning a wedding, home stretch of a pregnancy, home stretch of becoming an empty nester, home stretch of ending a career, and finally, the home stretch of life itself.

Of course, none of us experience the same home stretches, and even if we have some of those in common, we don't experience them at the same points in our lives, nor do we experience them in the same way.

We are but beings of constant transition. If we take advantage, and do it well, we allow ourselves limitless growth and limited judgment of others. 

As we reach each home stretch, we bring with us bits of the walk that brought us to where we are. It's what makes us human, shapes who we are, and who we become. It all has a hand in the shape and colour of our souls. The trick is to learn what to cling to and what to let go. 

What that is for each of us, is again, unique. I have no way of knowing the depths of what you need any more than you can know mine. Discovering this about ourselves is difficult enough, I wouldn't dream of assuming anything about another's journey. 

For others, all we can do is offer space and support. We do what we can when asked for help or advice. We definitely provide a safe place to land.

For ourselves, all we can do is our best in any circumstance, willing to reach out when we finally remember we don't have to do it alone, that we were never meant to. 

So, here's to the home stretches! They all lead us to where we really belong... until the next one...

 

If You Are Wired...

 

Hi!

At this time of year, I find myself gravitating toward images of warmth and space. 

With all the crazy talk of world domination from people who are supposed to know better, wildfires, wars and the rest of the horrible crap going on, sometimes it's okay to step back and take a breather.

My heart breaks for all who are suffering, it sincerely does, but right now, right in this moment... today, there is nothing I can personally do to change any of it.

If you are wired as a fixer like I am, that can be a tough pill to swallow. I'll rise to do whatever I can another day. But, today, for my own sanity, I need to scroll through pictures of lakes and fields, watch gameshows, old sitcoms, and play silly, mindless games on my phone.

The way stress hits each of us is as varied as the coping skills we use to get through whatever is causing it.

It can be physical, mental, and often, as it is with me, a pretty gnarly combination of the two.

So, I truly and deeply hope things in your life are going really well. 

But, if they are not, it's okay to do whatever you need to do to get through. Just try not to do anything too destructive, that, generally, just adds stress down the road. 

In the long run, everything tends to work out just as it should. And we generally land in a better spot than we left. But the transition can be rough. Sometimes really rough. 

So, I hate to write and run, but I have some episodes of Happy Days to play Candy Crush through. 

Take Care Of You!

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Happy New Year! 2025 Here We Come!

 

Hi!

So, another year has come and gone.

As we look forward to 2025, we know there will be challenges, some hurdles, some blindsided... of course there will, what would make this year different from any other?

We know this, so we can't claim surprise when it happens. Does that mean we can't be optimistic?  

Absolutely Not! 

It simply means we move forward with our eyes open, with a mature outlook that doesn't create an unrealistic expectation of a future full of nothing but rainbows and sunshine.

We walk through this next year with our hearts and minds open to every adventure and opportunity that comes our way. 

We walk through, ready to make the best of whatever comes our way, good, and not so good. Creating joy, even when it's tough to do so, for that's when it becomes the most important.

We walk, doing our best, as defined by our own conscience, because no one else has the ability to judge what that looks like. 

The future is defined not only by the plans we make, the paths we choose, and the effort we put in. It is equally defined by the way we choose to react to things that happen beyond our control. 

The best and worst thing about the future is this simple fact... we have no idea and no control over how things play out. The best, and only thing we can do is buckle up, and do our best. 

It's exciting, it's scary, It's reality.

Feed the positive. Where you place your energy matters. Whatever you nurture will grow, will thrive. Dealing with hard things, negative things, is unavoidable, but there is a difference between dealing with them and taking up residence where they live. 

Let's just deal with them, heal from them, and put them where they belong. Where all of our life lessons should live...our, "this is what I've learned through life experience " toolbox. Where we can draw from it whenever we need to. 

We don't have to get stuck where the hurdles happen, staring at them, measuring them, weighing them,  examining them beyond reason, giving them more energy than they need or deserve. Let's assess them long enough to get a good idea where they came from, learning how to recognize and avoid that particular hurdle down the road, then, get around it, over it, through it, whatever the circumstance requires... and move the hell on. 

Not all things that get thrown into our paths are going to be hurdles. Unexpected opportunities have an equal ability to show up, seemingly out of thin air. Embracing them can require an element of courage. The same courage it takes to overcome hurdles is sometimes needed to make the most of opportunities. A willingness to be open, maybe stepping outside of what makes us comfortable, a bit of out-of-the-box thinking.

Please know this. Deep emotional trauma is NOT one of the hurdles I am talking about. That is a different thing altogether. This is something a lot of people have to work through above and beyond life's regular hurdles, and should never be trivialized. It requires more time, examination, and care than any other kind of life hardship. This kind of trauma is caused by, and scars deeper than anyone who hasn't experienced it can understand. Give grace, space, and understanding. The scars may be well disguised or completely invisible, you don't know who bears them, so, as you tread, please do so, leading with compassion. 

So, moving forward through 2025...

Be kind, be gentle toward yourself and others.

Embrace opportunity and joy, and build your toolbox with the rest.

Buckle up, Love, and simply do your best!

We've Got This!

Happy New Year!

  

Merry! Merry! Merry!

 Hi!

Happy, Merry Whatever Holiday You Celebrate!

My greatest wish is that you are able to celebrate this special time of year with the people that matter most to you. However that looks. Hopefully, it's possible to celebrate in person, but if not, however you can make it work. This is where technology can come in handy!

For the next little while, ditch the clocks, make the favourite foods, give your calorie counter a holiday, play the games, be silly, be joyful. Have a cocktail or two, if you are so inclined. The real world will be there when you get back to it. I promise. 

For this snapshot in time, shrink your world a bit. Let go of the things you can't do anything to change in the moment. The big things can be conquered, the big problems can be solved, the big picture can once again come into focus after you recharge. 

Take this time to breathe. Sit back. Do nothing, or play games. Take walks, or sleep. Do what you need. Let the happy in, let the sadness go. Make room for all things positive. Negativity is a thief. Kick it to the curb, at least, for now. 

Well folks, I hate to write and run, but I still have some favourites to make for the crew that I am so privileged to have surround my table. 

I wish you all the Happiest of Holidays!

Take Care!

How Lucky Are We...

 

Hi!

How lucky are we that we...

We are lucky enough to have loved enough to grieve those we miss. We are lucky enough to know what good times look like. We are lucky enough to be able to find something good about every day. We are lucky enough to simply be here to greet another day.

To have the privilege to have loved, and been loved, is an incredible gift that too many never get to experience. Yes, grief is painful, but not nearly as sad as to never have known them, or loved them at all. 

For those who are freshly in the midst of it, getting through is all you can do. Trust that in time, though it never goes away, it eventually leaves room for more than pain. It eventually releases you enough to smile... for real. Not the smile you show to those you don't wish to worry, but a true, a real, soulfelt, smile. 

If you are struggling through a rough patch, if things are tight... just imagine what it would be like to never know anything else. If you have lived a life that has blessed you with contrast, be grateful to be able to know the difference. Too many have known only... this.

If you are simply feeling blue, try to greet each day like as the gift it is. So many are fighting with all they have, suffering all kinds of horrible treatments, hoping for as many sunrises as they can possibly get. It seems a shame not to appreciate each of them, imperative to not take them for granted.  

So, if you can, crank the tunes, and throw yourself a dance party! Let's throw it for those we want to honour by living our lives to the fullest. Let's throw it to pull ourselves out of the grips of struggle. Let's throw it to celebrate another sunrise. 

How lucky are we?

It is truly a cosmic miracle that any of us are even born, let alone be given the privilege of waking each day. 

Let's not waste a minute.

Love wildly. Live broadly. Hug with your whole heart. Dance like gravity has failed. Laugh until your belly hurts. Sing from the depths of your soul. 

We can't have been put on this earth to simply, merely exist. What a waste that would be.

Accept. Embrace. Be kind. Don't hold back.

Stay...

 

Hi!

This is to those going through it right now. 

It can be a tough time of year. Most likely not just because of the season, but because of circumstance, relationships, or lack thereof, situational depression, clinical depression, and countless other things that can pick away, pull from, and otherwise try to destroy any kind of joy that dares to enter the lives of those who have the audacity to be human.

I will do my best to stay away from platitudes. They have their place, but I don't feel that it's here, in this space. At least not now.

It's the end of another year, and for those who find it a herculean task to hang on to any kind of light, it can feel like yet another year of failures, of would haves, could haves, should haves, and finding ways to make absolutely everything that didn't go perfectly, their fault. 

It's a time of year for reflection, but, for some, that isn't a pleasant journey. When all you see are the pitfalls, when all your brain will allow is a mental contortion that only lets you see ways that you let people down, when every single one of the traumas that has touched you screams in your face when you look back, it holds nothing but torment.

When everything in you relentlessly pulls you toward a darkness that wants to convince you that you are nothing but a burden, that those who love you would be better off without you...

When the promise of nothingness becomes seductive... when the pull of the darkness becomes almost too much to resist...

Please remember....

The loss of you is NOT something people will recover from. 

I'll start with that. Yes, it's a bit of a guilt trip, but, I don't care. You matter too much to care about guilt trips. I will use everything I have to to get another day, and I won't apologize for it.

The darkness that seduces you is not your friend. It's a thief. A thief of your happiness, a thief of your joy, a thief of the very thing that makes you... you. You are NOT that darkness, you are so much more than it wants to tell you you are. 

You are not defined by your trauma and those who caused it. Yes, they may have convinced you that what they did to you was your fault. They've twisted truth to justify their cruelty, their abuse, their teardown of who you are. Our monsters don't get to dictate what we deserve.

You are not their definition of you. That doesn't even come close to describing the magic of who you are. 

Scars come from many places, and some run deeper than others, and no one goes through life without them. Each are individual and carry different types and levels of pain. 

But... the scars all are real.

But, they are far from all of who you are.

Stay. 

Let us help you release the pain that pulls you down. You are worth every conversation, every middle of the night text, every hug, every teardrop, every... everything.

We need you, the world needs you, even if you can't see it right now.

Don't give up on us. 

Stay.

Give tomorrow a chance to be better. Give yourself a chance to let go of the dark and find your shine. No matter how dark the world, the light comes. 

You have no idea what the universe may have in store for you. If you leave now, we will miss you in every and all moments to come. You are the only you the earth will ever see. Please don't deprive us of your magic. Even if you can't see, can't feel it right now... we do. 

We feel all of your incredible sensitivity, all of your compassion, all of your empathy, all of your humour, all of your effort to make others smile.

We feel your magic, the world needs it. Please don't take it, take you, away.

Stay.

In this moment, if you can't do it for you.... do it for us. There will come a day you stay for you. If not today.... soon. 

Stay. 

You deserve every happiness that you see in the lives of others. Even if, right now, it seems like a fantasy, please know it can happen for you, it will happen for you. On the other side of despair, on the other side of hell, on the other side, there is joy, there is love, there is excitement, there is life at its messy best.

Stay. Just...stay.

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This Is Us...

 Hi!

It's not fancy, it's not extravagant, and definitely not worthy of any instafame, but this is what the holidays look like in our house.

This is us.

You'll find paint scuffed by moving furniture around a million times, and the odd wrestling mishap. You'll find floors worn by endless, sleepless nights spent walking with fussy babies, and impromptu dance parties. You'll find an outdated kitchen that has definitely seen better days, but can still produce food filled with comfort, baking made with care, grin-enducing treats made with love, and will never allow anyone to leave hungry. 

No, our house will never grace the pages of a magazine, never be the inspiration for an interior designer, but when you come through our doors, you will always be welcomed with a hug.

It's easy to be tempted to compare yourself with others, to compare your house with others.

Especially now, with all of the videos and photos that the algorithms flood to our 'for you" on every form of social media. Showing all the new, all of the mile-high ceilings, all of the high-end, all of the state-of-the-art, all of the up-to-the-minute. With every ad schlepping all the must-have "gifts" that start at the price of a mortgage payment.

When you find yourself tempted, just remember this...

Memories are made not by high ceilings, state-of-the-art appliances, or taking out a second mortgage for gifts. They are generated by love, laughter, old board games, breaking bread, and time spent together. 

So, if you are one of the many who do the holidays on a shoestring budget, just know you are not alone. There are far more stretching dollars than making it rain with them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with living within your means, no matter what social media and ads would have you believe. 

So let's just all take a collective deep breath. We will do our very best with what we have. We might have to get creative with recipes, and the wishlists to Santa. We might have to make do with sledding at the local park instead of taking ski trips in the mountains. We might have to watch some travel specials on TV instead of taking tropical vacations. 

And, if we are very lucky, very lucky indeed, we will do so from the warmth within our four walls, on our couches, with our bellies full, snuggled up with those who matter most.

For there are many who look at what we have... and dream. 

For far too many the feeling of a full belly is foreign, a soft, safe, warm place to sleep, a luxurious fantasy. 

So...

While we are pinching pennies, let's be thankful for each and every one.

While we are cursing your peeling paint, let's be thankful for the walls.

While we are stressed and exhausted, let's be thankful for our soft, warm beds.

While we are making do with generic brands, let's be thankful for the plateful.

While we make do with whatever we've got, let's remember to just be grateful.