How Lucky Are We...

 

Hi!

How lucky are we that we...

We are lucky enough to have loved enough to grieve those we miss. We are lucky enough to know what good times look like. We are lucky enough to be able to find something good about every day. We are lucky enough to simply be here to greet another day.

To have the privilege to have loved, and been loved, is an incredible gift that too many never get to experience. Yes, grief is painful, but not nearly as sad as to never have known them, or loved them at all. 

For those who are freshly in the midst of it, getting through is all you can do. Trust that in time, though it never goes away, it eventually leaves room for more than pain. It eventually releases you enough to smile... for real. Not the smile you show to those you don't wish to worry, but a true, a real, soulfelt, smile. 

If you are struggling through a rough patch, if things are tight... just imagine what it would be like to never know anything else. If you have lived a life that has blessed you with contrast, be grateful to be able to know the difference. Too many have known only... this.

If you are simply feeling blue, try to greet each day like as the gift it is. So many are fighting with all they have, suffering all kinds of horrible treatments, hoping for as many sunrises as they can possibly get. It seems a shame not to appreciate each of them, imperative to not take them for granted.  

So, if you can, crank the tunes, and throw yourself a dance party! Let's throw it for those we want to honour by living our lives to the fullest. Let's throw it to pull ourselves out of the grips of struggle. Let's throw it to celebrate another sunrise. 

How lucky are we?

It is truly a cosmic miracle that any of us are even born, let alone be given the privilege of waking each day. 

Let's not waste a minute.

Love wildly. Live broadly. Hug with your whole heart. Dance like gravity has failed. Laugh until your belly hurts. Sing from the depths of your soul. 

We can't have been put on this earth to simply, merely exist. What a waste that would be.

Accept. Embrace. Be kind. Don't hold back.

Stay...

 

Hi!

This is to those going through it right now. 

It can be a tough time of year. Most likely not just because of the season, but because of circumstance, relationships, or lack thereof, situational depression, clinical depression, and countless other things that can pick away, pull from, and otherwise try to destroy any kind of joy that dares to enter the lives of those who have the audacity to be human.

I will do my best to stay away from platitudes. They have their place, but I don't feel that it's here, in this space. At least not now.

It's the end of another year, and for those who find it a herculean task to hang on to any kind of light, it can feel like yet another year of failures, of would haves, could haves, should haves, and finding ways to make absolutely everything that didn't go perfectly, their fault. 

It's a time of year for reflection, but, for some, that isn't a pleasant journey. When all you see are the pitfalls, when all your brain will allow is a mental contortion that only lets you see ways that you let people down, when every single one of the traumas that has touched you screams in your face when you look back, it holds nothing but torment.

When everything in you relentlessly pulls you toward a darkness that wants to convince you that you are nothing but a burden, that those who love you would be better off without you...

When the promise of nothingness becomes seductive... when the pull of the darkness becomes almost too much to resist...

Please remember....

The loss of you is NOT something people will recover from. 

I'll start with that. Yes, it's a bit of a guilt trip, but, I don't care. You matter too much to care about guilt trips. I will use everything I have to to get another day, and I won't apologize for it.

The darkness that seduces you is not your friend. It's a thief. A thief of your happiness, a thief of your joy, a thief of the very thing that makes you... you. You are NOT that darkness, you are so much more than it wants to tell you you are. 

You are not defined by your trauma and those who caused it. Yes, they may have convinced you that what they did to you was your fault. They've twisted truth to justify their cruelty, their abuse, their teardown of who you are. Our monsters don't get to dictate what we deserve.

You are not their definition of you. That doesn't even come close to describing the magic of who you are. 

Scars come from many places, and some run deeper than others, and no one goes through life without them. Each are individual and carry different types and levels of pain. 

But... the scars all are real.

But, they are far from all of who you are.

Stay. 

Let us help you release the pain that pulls you down. You are worth every conversation, every middle of the night text, every hug, every teardrop, every... everything.

We need you, the world needs you, even if you can't see it right now.

Don't give up on us. 

Stay.

Give tomorrow a chance to be better. Give yourself a chance to let go of the dark and find your shine. No matter how dark the world, the light comes. 

You have no idea what the universe may have in store for you. If you leave now, we will miss you in every and all moments to come. You are the only you the earth will ever see. Please don't deprive us of your magic. Even if you can't see, can't feel it right now... we do. 

We feel all of your incredible sensitivity, all of your compassion, all of your empathy, all of your humour, all of your effort to make others smile.

We feel your magic, the world needs it. Please don't take it, take you, away.

Stay.

In this moment, if you can't do it for you.... do it for us. There will come a day you stay for you. If not today.... soon. 

Stay. 

You deserve every happiness that you see in the lives of others. Even if, right now, it seems like a fantasy, please know it can happen for you, it will happen for you. On the other side of despair, on the other side of hell, on the other side, there is joy, there is love, there is excitement, there is life at its messy best.

Stay. Just...stay.

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This Is Us...

 Hi!

It's not fancy, it's not extravagant, and definitely not worthy of any instafame, but this is what the holidays look like in our house.

This is us.

You'll find paint scuffed by moving furniture around a million times, and the odd wrestling mishap. You'll find floors worn by endless, sleepless nights spent walking with fussy babies, and impromptu dance parties. You'll find an outdated kitchen that has definitely seen better days, but can still produce food filled with comfort, baking made with care, grin-enducing treats made with love, and will never allow anyone to leave hungry. 

No, our house will never grace the pages of a magazine, never be the inspiration for an interior designer, but when you come through our doors, you will always be welcomed with a hug.

It's easy to be tempted to compare yourself with others, to compare your house with others.

Especially now, with all of the videos and photos that the algorithms flood to our 'for you" on every form of social media. Showing all the new, all of the mile-high ceilings, all of the high-end, all of the state-of-the-art, all of the up-to-the-minute. With every ad schlepping all the must-have "gifts" that start at the price of a mortgage payment.

When you find yourself tempted, just remember this...

Memories are made not by high ceilings, state-of-the-art appliances, or taking out a second mortgage for gifts. They are generated by love, laughter, old board games, breaking bread, and time spent together. 

So, if you are one of the many who do the holidays on a shoestring budget, just know you are not alone. There are far more stretching dollars than making it rain with them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with living within your means, no matter what social media and ads would have you believe. 

So let's just all take a collective deep breath. We will do our very best with what we have. We might have to get creative with recipes, and the wishlists to Santa. We might have to make do with sledding at the local park instead of taking ski trips in the mountains. We might have to watch some travel specials on TV instead of taking tropical vacations. 

And, if we are very lucky, very lucky indeed, we will do so from the warmth within our four walls, on our couches, with our bellies full, snuggled up with those who matter most.

For there are many who look at what we have... and dream. 

For far too many the feeling of a full belly is foreign, a soft, safe, warm place to sleep, a luxurious fantasy. 

So...

While we are pinching pennies, let's be thankful for each and every one.

While we are cursing your peeling paint, let's be thankful for the walls.

While we are stressed and exhausted, let's be thankful for our soft, warm beds.

While we are making do with generic brands, let's be thankful for the plateful.

While we make do with whatever we've got, let's remember to just be grateful. 

Let The Holiday Era Begin!

 

Hi!

Happy Holidays! 

The world over, these next few weeks are filled with celebrations of many kinds. There are religious, cultural, and ones just for funzies!

Can we please put the "they won't let me say..." aside for good?

There is literally no one forbidding anyone from greeting anyone else with a sincere good wish of any kind. 

There is absolutely no reason to put barbs and razors into something that should have nothing behind it but kindness. 

This year has been hard for many, and the holidays, for some, will be the hardest part. There will be newly empty chairs around the table, there will be struggles to put any kind of meal on the table, let alone to provide the magic of the season for the ones who matter most. 

So consider this your reminder to be generous of spirit, and spread joy wherever possible. These are the gifts that are easy to give without costing you a dime. Joy is contagious, and ripples beyond everything your senses can experience. 

If you have an extra few minutes, maybe go through a closet or two and donate winter gear you no longer use, to shelters. If you are a baker and have a little extra, maybe drop some treats off with charities who feed those who need it most. 

You will never feel bad for giving what you can. 

There is more than enough cruelty in the world without contributing to it without cause. There are places where mere survival is everything. There are spaces where the idea of entertaining even the smallest of dreams feels like a luxury. There are those who feel hope is only for others. 

Where mere survival floods all that you are, it leaves no room for dreams. 

So spread seeds of joy, nurture those seeds with safety, water them with hope, then watch as dreams flourish, making the world, even if it's only by a little, a better place. 

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May we take a collective step back to get clearer perspective as to where we actually are.

May we, instead of focusing on the hurdles ahead, take a look back, for the distance we've come is far. 

May we give what we can to make the lives of others better, even if only with a smile, or kind word.

May we understand those simple things may be the first of the day they've seen or they've heard.

May we greet each other with kindness, regardless of how we choose to celebrate.

May we leave the barbs at home, the imaginary wars, and just let the season be great. 

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Ready or Not...

 

Hi!

The next chapter is coming.

Ready or Not!

Sometimes, in life, we get to pick when the page turns and have a heavy hand in the plot lines that follow. Sometimes, in life, we choose the when of the turn, but the story that follows is not quite legible.

Then, there are times when you think you know what's coming because you created a detailed outline, planned out the story, had a vision as to how it would all play out... and then the dog takes your outline, chews it up, buries it in the back yard where it gets rained on, pooped on by the neighbour's cat, then taken by a magpie to build a nest, god only knows where... and you are left to start from scratch, without a pen and no paper in sight. 

All you have is the wisdom and skillsets you've gained along the way. That's not nothing. 

The out-of-the-blue sky hits can come from any direction.

Illness, Physical restrictions, Job getting eliminated, Boss retires, Break-ups, Accidents, Corporate break downs,,, it really could come from anywhere.

When things like this happen, I think it's only human to hit the "why me" button. Why is there this target on my back, and why is the Universe playing a championship game of "pin the shit to my forehead" so relentlessly?

It can be easy to lose perspective. 

Unless whatever it is that's happening is literally and permanently taking you out, you're still in it.

You're knocked down, but not out. 

Blank slates can be scary, but they also carry with them a lot of excitement. There is no way of telling the kinds of opportunities that might come your way. 

Take stock of where you are, and the journey that has brought you thus far. 

If you examine the map, all the stops along the way, all of the hurdles you cleared, all of the storms you weathered, all of the beautiful people who helped you when you needed it, all of the not-so-beautiful people who taught you the lessons you needed to learn.. when you really look at all of it, and I do mean all, it makes the next steps a little more manageable.

You've been here before. The circumstances might be different. You may have a few more miles on you than you did before, and therefore, you're likely going to have to tap into your experience to find ways to clear any future hurdles. Let's face it, your knees aren't what they used to be, but you're still here. You're here, and have accumulated tools along the way. 

All that's left is to use them. 

So keep moving forward, every step, no matter how small, is progress.

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May each day, each breath, each step, bring you ever closer to your peace.

May the powers that be take a break, give you some time, give you some release.

Life Is Still Beautiful...

Photo Credit: My Hubby

 Hi!

So, here we are.

The drunken toddlers are in charge of one of the most powerful countries in the world. I can't help but wonder what historians will make of this in 50 years. How it will be examined by scholars, students, anthropologists, writers, and psychologists. Maybe they will better be able to piece together how we got here from further away. 

It will likely baffle all of them for a long while.

But.....

We can't remain in the doom and gloom of it. I know I can't. The sometimes obnoxiously perpetual optimist that I am won't allow it. It's happening, now we just have to be vigilant, and do our best.

Kindness and empathy will eventually get the upper hand. Karma didn't retire, she'll show up and strike when the time is right. 

In the meantime...

Whatever we choose to feed tends to be what flourishes. I'm making a conscious choice to feed light. Feeding the dark can do nothing but bring misery. Personally, misery is not the place where I want to reside.

Most of what happens in this world does so without our permission. All we can do is accept that, roll with it, do our best to stay true to who we are, and continue to stand up for those who need it most. 

This, by no means we roll over and play dead. It doesn't mean we decimate boundaries. It just means we live our lives grabbing joy, matching every ounce of the enthusiasm your dog greets you with after a long day. 

The choices people have made will come home to roost soon enough. We just have to do what we can to redirect the shrapnel of those choices so they don't hit innocent bystanders. 

So, keep being your fabulous selves. Keep dancing. Keep cooking. Keep celebrating. Leave misery to those who picked it. 

Let them.

They picked it. Let them own it. They won't need our help. It will happen because they choose misery, hate, and anger at every turn. Don't allow yourself to get swallowed into their dark pit. Don't allow them to steal your joy, at least not for too long.

Life is still beautiful. We may just have to work a little harder to see that for a while.

Create your joy. Run a tub full of it and soak. 

Congratulations...

 Hi!

Over the past few days, I've been struggling. 

Struggling to make sense of what is happening.

Struggling to hang on to positivity.

Struggling, as I am finding out that a huge chunk of those who voted for Captain Shitshispants did so out some fantasy that they think he stands for. Completely and utterly unaware of what his plans are for them.

I guess there was a reason that during his speeches he kept talking about windmills, Hannibal Lecter, and gave blow jobs to microphones. The 'look the other way' strategy, whether intentional, or just another symptom of his dementia, worked.

They have absolutely no idea what they voted for, and now they are going to, if they are very lucky, have ONLY four years of living with the consequences of their choices. My heart breaks for those who will be collateral damage. 

To those who chose Captain Asshat...

There is a difference...

With her, we would have proven you wrong.

With him, you'll prove us right.

The biggest difference being the amount of people who get hurt, or worse, in the process. 

There are already little girls in elementary schools being pushed around by boys yelling, repeating, taunting with "your body MY choice!"

There are already texts going out to black students in colleges and high schools telling them they should prepare to report to some kind of slavery coalition and that they will be assigned to plantations.

There are still two months until he actually takes office. Do you think this kind of crap ISN'T going to amplify when he actually takes his seat in the Oval?

You thought it was crazy last time. 

Buckle up.

Now the guardrails are gone. You know, the guardrails that were adults, generals, serious, experienced people who understood the gravity of the job. You know, the guardrails that worked the closest to him and got to know him best. You know, the guardrails that warned against voting for him, that explained over and over again why and just how dangerous he is. 

Now his cherry-picked Supreme Court has given him immunity on anything he does while in office.

Now that your opportunity to ever vote again is not guaranteed.

Now that every woman and girl no longer has control of what happens to her body.

They think he cares about them. Still. If it wasn't so sad and terrifying it would be funny, the level of delusion these people live under.

One young lady was interviewed as she came out of the voting station. She was with her boyfriend. Asked who she voted for, she said "trump,' as she looked to her boyfriend beside her. When asked why, her reply was "he said he wouldn't ban abortion." At this, her boyfriend couldn't help but snicker, she looked over at him with a shocked confused look. The reporter walked away.

Many voted because of the tariffs. Now they are finding out in real time that it means not at all what they have been lead to believe. 

People...

Research... actual research... requires more of you than just watching anecdotal videos, and listening to podcasts with only one point of view.

It requires looking into public records on how your candidates vote. 

It requires digging into how they have walked through life, thus far. 

It requires looking into past actions, who they speak up for, and who they speak up against.

The way you conduct your life, the way you treat people along the way, the way you make your living, speaks to the core of who you are as a human.

Find out who and what you are voting for before you vote. Don't just take in what they are telling you during the campaign, while they are trying to win you over. Don't listen to the ads. Dig. Don't listen to the insults. Dig. 

Don't be the person thinking you are voting for cheaper eggs and get your Christmas bonus revoked due to your boss needing to stock up on product because of the tariffs he knows are coming. 

Don't be the person that is now finding yourself in panicked parent groups because he plans on gutting public education, and the programs that you benefit from through the school for free, are going to go away and you can't afford to pay out of pocket. 

Don't be the person who lives on disability, or relies on medicare, or has pre-existing conditions, or lives month to month on social security, that is going to soon find out just what the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" crowd really means by that. 

Don't be the person who works for minimum wage, thinking gas is just too expensive, that now has to take a cut in pay because the minimum limit ceases to exist. 

Don't think that, as an immigrant, you are safe because you aren't one of the "bad" ones he was talking about, only to find out that last time he had the power, thousands of people exactly like you were booted without cause. 

Don't be the person who votes for policies that will put your neighbours, your friends, your family, or anyone in actual, physical danger. 

But here we are.

A Putin fangirl, adjudicated rapist, misogynist, racist, fascist, queerphobic, dementia-riddled, fraudulent, bankrupted, 34-count convicted, bigoted felon has been elevated to the highest office in the world... again. 

The consequences of your choices are going to be felt the world over, and will have generational repercussions.

Congratulations. 

We are already hearing the echoes of "But I didn't know..." That is a bullshit copout. If you didn't know it was your conscious choice not to find out. You watch a few tiktoks and youtube videos that algorithms push in front of you and watch news that only speaks to one point of view and call it "research."

Bullshit. Do the work. Public records are just that. Public. Look up how they vote. Look up how they live their life. Use google for more than to look up porn. 

You don't get drunk, drive, kill someone and then plead that you didn't know it would happen so it's not your fault.

You voted for whatever comes down the pike. All of it. Now you get to own all of it. You don't get the luxury of hiding behind the fact that you can't accurately separate fact from fantasy. 

Nope.

The first time, you wanted to give him a chance. You wanted all of us to give him a chance, and he put children in cages and told the world that injecting cleanser would cure covid.

This time you know. And you did it anyway.

Now you get to own the consequences. 

Congratulations. 

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