With My Tongue Firmly Embedded In My Cheek...

Christmas on a budget....

The Holidays are expensive. Period. The gifts for teachers, bus drivers, mail carriers, blah blah blah, not to mention the presents that are supposed to measure up to the letters to Santa, the eight hopes of Hanukkah, the requests of Kwanzaa, or the exchanges that you enjoy celebrating, that have zilch to do with religion or historical tradition.

We all have our reasons to celebrate the season. It's awesome! No matter what drives yours, it generally promotes a mindset of kindness and generosity. Embrace it! Run with it!

But, with that, can come expense stress. So, with my tongue firmly embedded in my cheek, I give you the following money-saving holiday hacks!


Coming up with the perfect hors d'oeuvres for your upcoming Holiday soiree can be difficult and labour intensive, not to mention, costly. To procure said appys with minimal effort and even less money, line a cooler with tin foil, grab your roll of plastic wrap, make a trip to your nearest Costco and hit the samples. There is always an endless, grand variety, a little something for everyone. Boom.

Stuck for a gift for that person on your list who has everything? Simple. I'm sure you are aware of the recent scandal in the art community wherein someone ate a $120,000 art installation of a banana he freed from being duct-taped to a canvas. Piece of fruit + duct tape = priceless gift. Boom.

In need of some Christmas confections? Virtually every business has treats sitting out this time of year and they are absolutely expecting you to help yourself.  You are but an errands-run and a few Ziploc bags away from filling your candy dishes to the brim. Boom.


Unable to fulfill every wish on your little one's wishlist to Santa? Crafty or not, craft yourself as close to the desired gift as you can, then simply explain that Santa's elves had eaten too many cookies, and made some gifts while on a crazy sugar high. Theirs must have been part of that batch. You saw the story on the news. Boom.


Last, but certainly not least, home decor. Ahhhhh, the tree, (if that's how you roll) the garland, the mistletoe, the stockings, the sparkle, the glitter... first spend some quality time at your local dollar store, then let the kids in your life go nuts. It might look a little wonky when they are done, but that, my friends, is nothing a few glasses of wine, a couple of shots of tequila, and some skilled squinting can't cure. Boom.

You're welcome.


Disclaimer:

The above information/advice is for entertainment purposes only and not meant to be taken literally... just sayin'...



The lesson:

This time of year is supposed to be fun, don't let unrealistic expectations of perfection suck the joy out of the season.

Those who matter won't care how the tree is decorated, by whom, or what's under it. They won't care that the food isn't Insta-worthy. They won't care that your holiday may lean a bit more toward National Lampoon than Hallmark.


Those who matter just want to see you happy. Period. Boom.


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Until next time...


May your dollars stretch like the waistband of three child deep maternity underwear.
May you redefine "perfect" for it really means laugh-filled memories made and shared.

May you remember chasing the old perfect is like trying to capture a unicorn with golden wings.
May you see that those that matter, who really matter, care about you, your happiness, not things.

May you take a beat, take a breath, take a break, take a walk, take a nap, take a turn on the backyard swings.
May you know your best is always enough, you're doing awesome, you are awesome, you bring the magic, you are the magic, you, the unicorn with golden wings.


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