Facts And Truth... Stubborn Things

Hi.

How is everybody doing?

Around here, things are beginning to transition into a kind of new normal-ish. This virus is a horrid thing. It has completely ravaged families, too many families. It continues to dig its hooks into humanity, one of the few things in this society that is absolutely devoid of prejudice. It cares not how old, how healthy, how young, how rich, how poor, your ethnicity, your culture, your belief system, where you were born, or the colour of your skin. 

It is a time in history where leadership has become really important. Leaders' willingness to listen to science, put egos aside, pay attention to data, and then make decisions that will keep their citizens as safe as possible. Leaders' willingness to make choices that may not always be popular, but are necessary. Making sure people can put food on their tables and pay their rent. Making sure that a healthcare system is in place to take care of everyone. 

As scientists have learned more about this virus, how to handle it changes. Strategies change in real-time. They have found out that masks make a much bigger difference than they first thought. A simple mask can make a huge difference in how many people contract the virus, how many need to be hospitalized, how many die. A mask.

It's such a non-decision. 

The complete and utter delusion that seems to drive the arguments against taking this most simple of precautions would be funny if they weren't so frickin' dangerous. These delusions, fuelled by conspiracy theories, are costing people their health, and in some cases their lives. 

When you listen to the insanity that is believed to be true, it's mind-boggling. Completely devoid of reality, the nonsense spins itself into a frenzy of idiocracy, spiking to a level I didn't think possible. To be that detached from reality can't be good for ya. I know I'm not a doctor, but still...

The truth, the facts, though uncomfortable, and not pretty, are still just that. Facts, truth, they are stubborn things.

I feel for our neighbours to the South. The United States has more cases per day now than they did at the beginning. Before any lockdowns, any restrictions. their Cheeto-in-chief has let them down. The sacrifices they have made have been for nothing because that asshat can't think beyond his own ego.

He's convinced, and is saying this out loud, in public, that the only reason there are more cases is that they are doing more testing.

Ummmmmmm....

Okay...

So, using that logic...

Taking fewer pregnancy tests would result in fewer babies?

Fewer blood sugar tests would result in fewer diabetics?

Checking your oil less means it's less likely to get dirty?

Does it mean there would be fewer people suffering with cancer if we just slowed down the testing for cancer?

If you don't check your kid for ticks, does that mean they'll never have one on their body?

I'm sorry that's just stupid.

The cases are multiplying. The percentage of positive tests is rising. People are getting sick and dying at a rate worse than in any other developed country.

Facts and truth. Stubborn things.

On the flipside...

Congrats to the countries who are doing the work, following the science, making the hard choices, and to the citizens that are doing the same. 

I feel safe and grateful that I live in a Country, a Province, a Community that lives in reality, even when it's uncomfortable.

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May we keep doing what is needed, it's working, let's keep it up.

May we stay the course, as to not fall back, we owe it to ourselves to not mess this up.

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www.margyreidbooks.com 

Happy Father's Day... Pandemic Edition

HappyFather's Day!

With everything that is going on right now, it can be easy to overlook some of the simple things that make life worthwhile.

Celebrating Dads, for instance...

This writing adventure has put me in the path of a lot of young parents. They sometimes message me with questions, seeking advice, or just reassurance. Now, I have never represented myself as any form of expert, never claiming to have any fancy letters follow my name. I am just a person who has spent the majority of her life taking care of littles. 

So, in celebration of Dadhood...

A lot of the young dads out there have said their biggest fear is that because their own dad was abusive, neglectful, or absent, they will repeat the behavior.

To these dads, I say this...  All you can do is strive every day to be the Dad you wished for as a kid. Know you aren't perfect, nobody is. 

A lot of young dads are paralyzed by the responsibility that consumes them as they hold that first bundle of joy in their arms.

To these dads, I say this... Try your best, every day, to make your parenting decisions from a place of love and not fear, anger, frustration, or stress. The rest has a way of working itself out. 

A lot of young dads are afraid of the world their littles will grow up in.

To these dads I say this... Every good parent, mom or dad, have held this fear. For years, decades, centuries, heck, likely since humans started walking upright. Every generation has had its upheaval, its own type of scary, things unfamiliar to what the previous generation grew up with. Civil wars, wars fighting for independence, world wars, civil revolutions, sexual revolutions, the liberation of genders, and sexual orientations. Progress can't happen without discomfort. You'll never protect your child from every ugliness of the outside world, nor should you want to. Your job is to do your level best to give them the tools to navigate the world around them. Fight the urge to wrap them in bubble wrap. You're not raising children you're raising adults. That being said, kids should never be burdened with adult issues. Let kids be kids, but when they ask questions answer them honestly, age appropriately, but honestly. 

All any of us can do is our best. None of us can succeed at it every single day. We mess up. We lose patience. We say things we shouldn't. We make wrong decisions about countless things. 

Yup. We're human. There are a ton of parenting books out there, sadly, babies don't read. Every infant is different, every toddler is different, every child, tween, teen, and young adult is different. 

There will be days when you feel that you are at your limit. Days when you will be tempted to quit, and just do what's easiest. All I can tell you is... don't. You forfeited the right to give up the minute you became a parent. Reach out for help, take a walk, take a breath, take a bath, do what you need to do to get your legs under you, but don't quit. You can't. If it was easy, everybody would do it.

Remember to have fun. Enjoy! Not every decision is life and death. Have the tea parties in tutus, the sword fights with ninja masks, the video game tournaments, the bike rides, the bonfires, the conversations about likes, dislikes, friends, and enemies. Figure out what lights them up and encourage that. What lights them may change, but their confidence will grow. 

Your child may know you love them, but watch them gain a whole new level of shine when they realize how much you like them.

Celebrate your Dadness, the jokes the bod, all of it. 

On a more personal note, I want to wish my hubby a very happy Father's Day. He's been an amazing Daddy to our four daughters and seems to be doubling down as a Grandpa. 

On our very first date, some 35 years ago, I told him I wanted 6 kids. He didn't blink. We compromised with four, and haven't looked back since.

Our girls never had to question whether or not their Daddy had their back. They never had to guess whether or not he would support them in any way he could. They have never had to wonder if he would help them. They have never had to doubt their Dad's love and commitment to them, their Mom, and our family. The fixing of bikes, wagons and countless other toys, the late-night rescues, and pickups from snowbanks and bush parties, the teaching how to change oil and a flat tire, the tendency to take in strays, the reinforcement that their value, their worth was not tied to their looks, the importance of being a good human. All of it. Dadhood.

So, thank you, my Honey for being such a great Dad to our girls, such a fantastic Grandpa to our grandbabies, and such an incredible husband, and friend to me.  

Happy Father's Day.

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Today, June 19th is Juneteenth.

A significant day in history that never made it into any of the history books. If it did, I apologize, but it definitely wasn't something I was taught in school, neither was my hubby or our kids or anyone else I've talked to about it. 

So, it signifies a day 2.5 years after the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation. Two and a half years that slave owners in Texas didn't bother to tell their slaves that they were, in fact, free. Two and a half freakin' years!

This is a celebration to signify the last of the slaves being freed. Free is a great word, but as long as people are getting shot in their beds, shot in the back, being profiled, being treated unfairly simply because of the colour of their skin, they aren't really free. Freedom is when all humans are held in the same esteem, are shown equal respect, are given the same opportunities. Period. 

Happy Juneteenth! 

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For my Dad,

May you know how much you're missed, your grin, your laugh, your mischief. your presence.

May you see the best pieces of you are still here, running wild, wearing your gestures, completely unintended.

May you know that now, when memories flood, the happy vastly outnumber the sad.

May you know, even though, at times, our relationship was hard, I absolutely love that you were my Dad.

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www.margyreidbooks.com 

Erasing Symbols Of Racism Is Not Erasing History, It's Removing The Skew...

Hi.

Ahhhhhhhh sunsets. 

A beautiful reminder that time passes. The sunsets on careers, on childhood, on all kinds of chapters in our lives.

It's about damn time that the sun sets on racist ideals.

The ridiculous mindset that one race is somehow superior to another in any way, shape, or form needs to come to an end once and for all.

Keeping statues, flags and other symbols that glorify, and celebrate people and a time that should carry nothing but shame is ludicrous.

I don't understand the arguments against it. 

One is that it will somehow erase history.

First, the history being taught is skewed to make colonialism look good. That we were somehow doing the indigenous peoples in different countries favours by landing ashore on their homelands and completely destroying their ways of life, subjecting them to every horror imaginable. Then,  compounding that by committing even more horrific acts by forcing people to come to the continent to be enslaved for generations.

If history was taught as it actually happened, accepted in all of its ugliness, flags, monuments, and slapping names on things either wouldn't have happened at all, or would have been taken down long ago. 

If history was taught as it actually happened,  monuments would celebrate the real heroes. The abolitionists, the freedom fighters, First Nations leaders. The flags would represent equality for everyone. The buildings would be named for people who fought for that equality. 

Eliminating symbols of racism is not erasing the history, it's removing the skew.

Another is the argument for freedom of speech or expression.

This, as a writer, is something I hold very dear. It's the backbone of any democracy, really. 

The thing is this.

When free speech or expression involves anything that requires taxpayers money to either purchase or maintain, it needs to represent ALL of those taxpayers. To be a person of colour, a taxpayer in the United States and have to see, every single day, monuments, flags, building and military base names honouring, actually honouring people who facilitated and/or boisterously participated in the worst of your nation's history, the worst of what happened to your ancestors. I can't imagine a world in which I could accept that. I'm not a person of colour. I can't pretend to know what it's like to walk the world in the skin of a person of colour. But even I, looking out from the cocoon of white privilege that society has bestowed upon me, can see how grotesque that is.

The fact that these racist abominations still exist is embarrassing.

In Canada, we have our own shame. We are not immune. We have our own monuments that need removal, our own history that needs to be taught correctly and completely. We too have shined up our history books to make ourselves feel better.

The whispers of a real conversation have started. 

It needs to be followed up by systemic change. 

Police are supposed to protect and serve the people of their communities.

Protect them. Not be the ones they need protection from.

Serve them. Help them. Not be the ones from whom they need saving. 

More stringent vetting of applicants. More vigorous training in de-escalation, communications, mental health assessment, decency.

But. But. But.

Racist systems don't exclusively exist within police and the way they do their job. It reaches far beyond justice systems.  Racist systems live and thrive in workplaces, mortgage companies, retail stores, schools, in healthcare, parks, on pretty much every street. 

How many times have you been in the presence of someone who makes a snide remark about someone "not speaking English" incredulously even when they aren't the ones being spoken to? 

How many have heard derogatory statements trickle off the tongues of people we know?

How many have witnessed harassment for no reason other than not being white?

How many of us have stood up and called it out every single time?

I know, in the past, I haven't, I know going forward, I will.

I have to.

We have to.

Racism can't be allowed to exist.  It just can't. We can't let it.

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Meanwhile, Corona lives on. It doesn't care what else is going on.

Spikes have already begun to happen as things open up.

Stay vigilant. Stay safe.

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May we find a way to own our part of history, accept it, then do our best to create a better tomorrow.

May we educate ourselves to embrace the best ways to help, the best ways through the pain and sorrow.

May those who fear change take a moment to ask themselves why.

May their fears give way to reason, to enlightenment, to reality, a reality they can no longer deny.

May those that don't, finally see that humanity comes in many colours, none better or brighter than the rest.

May they see how completely screwed up it is to think otherwise, how some delusional sense of superiority has created this whole mess.

May we all be better at calling it out, saying what it is, stomping it at every turn.

May we recognize the only reason to fight against equality is...

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www.margyreidbooks.com  

Countries Sewn From Fabric Woven By Forced Hands...

Hi.

This has been a week, hasn't it?

A week wherein we witnessed police finally getting charged for the murder of George Floyd.

A week wherein in the midst of demonstrations and peaceful protests to stand up against, and try to bring an end to police brutality, we see a 75-year-old man pushed to the ground by the police and left, as the police responsible just walk on by. They left him, laying on the sidewalk, with his head bleeding, motionless. A man who is now in hospital, his condition listed as serious, but stable. 

And then they lied, saying "he tripped and fell." That's disgusting.

A week where in the midst of demonstrations, peaceful crowds are charged upon, tear-gassed, and shot with rubber bullets, then pushed and pummeled to the side for President Biff. This, to clear his path to a church he attends only when his title requires, so he could get a photo op. It's so telling that it never even occurred to him to stop and talk to the protesters. To listen to them. He once again stomped, both literally and figuratively, all over an opportunity to be an actual human being, all for the sole purpose of puffing himself up. 

A week wherein Nations around the world marched their own streets, shining more light on the racism that not only plagues America but permeates deeply everywhere upon the globe. 

A week of taking a long hard look in each of our own national mirrors and seeing how far we all have yet to go.

I think what I find most disturbing and most heartbreaking, is the fact that in order for there to be the need for demonstrations, marches, and protests, opposition to the ideals driving the protests needs to exist. 

All that any of these marches are asking for is equality. 

How and why is there opposition to equality?

People should not have to beg for their lives at the hands of the people whose literal job is to protect and serve them. 

Too many countries are sewn from fabric woven by forced hands.

We can't change history. But we do need to look at it. Learn it. All of it. Not the sanitized version that helps us sleep better, the truth. We need to do a better job of teaching it to our children. We need to do a much better job of acknowledging it as adults.

We can't change history, but we can change the trajectory of our future. 

It all begins in our own households. In our conversations. It then needs to make its way through our neighbourhoods, through our towns, cities, municipalities, and beyond.

I long for a world where the need to march the streets in and of itself becomes something for the history books. My wish for my grandbabies and their grandbabies is that this proves to become the turning point they read about in their history books. 

For now, we are in it. In the thick of it, the muck of it.

We need to do better, and there is absolutely nothing stopping us from doing just that. 

Opposition to equality is not always obvious, that's how it has survived, how it has flourished. Those who perceive equality as a threat have learned over time that wearing it blatantly on their sleeves, letting the venom drip unchecked from their tongues garnishes backlash. So they speak in the language of dog whistles. Instead of the white hoods, they wrap themselves in the flag trying to confuse patriotism and racism, trying to meld them together somehow. 

True patriots aren't confused.

Opposition to equality wields its privilege like a sledgehammer. It threatens to bring the security of systemic racism to the doorstep of people having barbeques, driving delivery trucks, birdwatching, shopping, hanging out at pools, jogging, or just having the audacity to be anywhere at all. 

We need to do better and there is absolutely nothing stopping us from doing just that.

Let's make this, let's allow this to be the time in history we began to get it right. 

As we march, let's not forget that Covid-19 is not taking a break. Please be safe.

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May we march in peace so that everyone can walk in peace.

May we never stop until all acts of inequality cease.

May we actively learn, actively listen, actively change, actively see what's always been in plain sight.

May we finally, put our history, our humanity on a path to getting it right.

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www.margyreidbooks.com