It's Not The Colour Of The Cup...

 Hi!

I wish I could take credit for these images. Unfortunately, I can't, nor can I attribute them to anyone in particular because I couldn't find out who is responsible for these poetic visuals.

Sometimes, pieces of art, in any form it might take, just calls your name. 

Sometimes it's images, sometimes it's music, sometimes, it's something as simple as a well-turned phrase.

So, whenever I am asked the questions about favourites, as in, favourite, book, author, movie or food, I generally give the following answer:

It depends on the day. 

What's going on that day, what is the vibe of those around me. what the weather is like? Oh, and which hormone on the randomizing wheel of nightmarish menopausal options will be the most obnoxious on that day? Will it be the one that makes me mad at stupid things? The one that makes me cry for absolutely no reason? Will it be the one that shouldn't really be in the presence of other humans? Or, my favourite, the brain dead hormone that propels me to wander around my house forgetting why I've walked into any room... all damn day?

The real answer is this. Favourites change. Or, in my opinion they should at least be open to change. Your favourite song when you were ten shouldn't be your favourite song now, should it? The same goes for your favourite book, movie, tv show, food and so on... 

When your heart and mind have permission to be sincerely open, your beliefs, tastes, and opinions about things evolve with time, life experience, and the growth that comes with maturity. As we grow, we develop the capability of accepting new ideas, critically thinking them through, and coming to logical conclusions. 

We no longer throw tantrums if we don't get to drink out of the blue cup. We discover that the colour of the cup means nothing, it's the contents that count. 

We no longer refuse new things simply because they are new. We learn that trying new things is the only way to discover what fits who we are. 

We no longer reject others because they simply won't play what we want to play. We learn to accept the ideas of others. We learn to accept that different is rarely bad. We learn that we can entertain our own belief systems all the while accepting that others believe differently. Neither of us are right. Neither of us is wrong. We are just different. And that is fabulous. 

We learn to share, to compromise, to understand that the world exists beyond the boundaries of our childhoods. Or, at least we should.

There are some out there clinging desperately to outdated ideals. They are pushing restrictive concepts that will, if put into action, make life hell for some that are very near and dear to my heart. And, unless you live under a rock. or have an almost fatal case of ostrich syndrome, some that are near and dear to your hearts too. 

If the poison that is rapidly infecting our neighbours down south, seeps into our Home on Native Land, if those asshats get their way, my grandson, my nephew, my great nephew, my cousin's child, and many more who maybe haven't quite yet figured out where they land, along with every other person who has the frickin' audacity to live outside the lines drawn by straight, white, old men, will have their freedoms stripped.

They won't be able to dress as they like, love who they love, get married if they choose to, have kids if they so choose... it's ridiculous. 

Drag queens are dangerous to kids? When is the last time you saw a drag queen, show up on Dateline. 'catch a predator' edition?

If you take the time to actually look up the stats, facts, charges, and convictions of child predators, groomers, and abusers, guess which demographic the overwhelming majority of these monsters stem from? Yup, those same straight white men who are trying to scapegoat the queer community. Yup, youth pastors, priests, teachers, coaches, doctors.... the list is sadly endless. 

The world is slowly changing for the better, and those that have held the power for far too long are getting desperately uncomfortable. Things are likely to get worse before the dam breaks. They are kicking and screaming, fighting and spitting, trying to change every law that allows a woman autonomy over herself. They are banning books, trying to dictate how you should parent your kids, they are trying to eliminate the queer community. (I wish that was hyperbole).

They are, without a doubt, terrified that once the power shift has completely changed, and they are no longer in charge of anything, they will be treated the way they have treated others. 

When, as a woman, I'm out in the world on my own, vulnerable, who do I fear? Who do I have my head on a swivel for? Who am I placing my keys between my fingers for? Who is most likely to be the one to assault me? I'll give you one guess. Here's a hint... not one single soul from the queer community, I'll tell you that.

We are a mere couple of generations away from real change. Let's try our best to make it happen faster, shall we?

Let's vote for people who support, and are willing to accept true change.

Let's stop voting for the ones that still throw a tantrum over the blue cup. 

Now, after all of this, a new question may arise. Do I even like straight white men?

The answer?

It's not the colour of the cup that matters. It's the content that counts.

I'm married to a soon-to-be 59-year-old straight, white man, and have been for decades. The thing is, he is the biggest cheerleader for all who want to colour. Inside the lines, outside the lines, hell, make your own lines and colour those or don't. 

It's not the colour of the cup...

So if you find yourself upset or scared about the ideology of acceptance. Please ask yourself why. Be honest with yourself. Dig deep, and don't stop until you are absolutely sure the thoughts propelling your resistance are coming exclusively from your own soul. As we grow, we develop the capability of accepting new ideas, critically thinking them through, and coming to logical conclusions. 

Just remember... tolerance and acceptance are NOT the same thing. One holds its nose, the other embraces every colour under the rainbow. 

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May we, as humanity, stop intentional cruelty. 

May we stop putting ourselves in high places that have never been ours, just so we could look down on those we feel are beneath us.  

May we put forth people of power who will sincerely fight for those without means, without shelter, without a voice.

May we, all of us, stop. Free ourselves of the myth that hard work brings about prosperity no matter who you are. 

May we create a society in which each and every person has a fundamental right to food, shelter, and dignity. The fact that they are human makes them worthy, they need nothing else. 

May we do better, be better, live better, love better.

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Things I've Learned...

 Hi!

The older I get, the more it sinks in that what motivates different people is very mysterious.

What do I mean?

Well, for instance, what motivates a bunch of people to buy beer, as in spend your hard-earned money on it, have the store from which you purchased it make their money, and the producer of the product make their money, what motivates you, after your money has left your pocket, to take said beer and destroy it?  Some used baseball bats, some ran over it with their vehicles, yet more shot it. There were other methods used, but you get the drift. 

From what I can gather, the motivation came from an ad. This beer brand had the audacity to embrace inclusion. The audacity to show representation from a diverse and horribly underrepresented group of people. 

That's it.

Whatever Bud, destroy your Bud if you must. It makes no sense, will make no difference, and definitely reveals your bigotry, but hey, if you want to waste your money, you do you. Who am I to point out how dumb it is?

Another one...

What motivates people to destroy their careers, relationships, reputation and character to protect a man who couldn't give a crap about them if he actually tried... which he won't... ever... just ask his kids.

The list of people willing to get charged, thrown in jail, disbarred, disavowed by family, fired, and completely abandon their principles, character, smashing any kind of moral compass they may have had, grows daily.

The amount of elected officials, lawyers, and just regular people that are willing to trash their entire lives is simply baffling. Anyone with eyes, ears, and a functioning understanding of how the world works can see that the King of Mar-a-Lago is done. If he is very lucky, he won't die in prison. So, I don't get it. But, then again, I don't have to. Trying to find sense where there is none is exhausting. Another thing I've learned. 

And another thing...

Attaching some googly eyes and a clown nose to a glorified tree stump can make almost anyone smile, regardless of their mood. It's just not possible to be aggravated when you see it. What motivates anyone to provide smiles, unprovoked, without being asked? A sweet soul, that's what. It's not complicated. 

Oh... and...

What motivates me to make not one, but two roast chickens? False Spring... that's what. When all of the green that was so reassuringly poking through get buried, when all of the puddles freeze over and are covered, once again, when winter simply decides she's not done yet, you make comfort food. Or, at least, that's what I do. So, roast chicken, eat one, freeze one for later, mashed potatoes, served with gravy and a mess of veggies is just what happens. 

One last thing...

What motivates these ramblings? 

In the beginning, it was simply to document my journey as an author. Over the years it has evolved. Now, these ramblings are being read in 20+ countries each week, by people from all walks of life, from every tax bracket, religion, and every colour of the Rainbow. Yes, Rainbow. 

You've trusted me with your stories. You've come at me when you disagree. You've shown both how beautiful and harsh humanity can be.  I encourage it all. I never expect everyone to like or agree with my thoughts. That would be insane. The world would be excruciatingly boring if everyone thought the same way.

That, does not, however, give a pass for cruelty.

I get so tired of people trying to justify their hate with platitudes. "That's just who I am", "I call it like I see it." Or they hide behind cherry-picked excerpts from a Bible that has been translated and rewritten more than any other book in history. As a writer, I can tell you this, the final product NEVER reflects all of the same ideas as the first draft, and when you add language translations? I mean...

What motivates these ramblings?

I'm just trying to do the most with the life I've been given. I'm trying to do whatever I can to promote acceptance, inclusion, respect and kindness. 

Am I a smartass? At times. Do I get pissed? Sometimes. I'm human. Just like all of us. 

I'm just out here doing whatever I can to make sure our kids get to be kids. That they don't have people preventing them from being who they authentically are, something only they can determine. I'm just trying to do what I can to make sure books of all kinds remain available to all who want to read them. I'm out here, doing whatever I can to create a safe space for those who find they have none elsewhere. 

I'm here to do what I can to leave this planet, in any small way, better than when I found it.

I want my great-grandbabies to learn about the harshness, inequality, war, and oppression that humanity insists on inflicting upon itself in History books, not from experience. 

So... Things I've learned...

Don't throw your life away for people who don't deserve it. And.... NOBODY deserves it.

Pick carefully the hill on which you are willing to die... Don't let that be a beer ad. 

Do what you can to move the goalposts in the direction that your great-grandbabies will be able to be proud of. 

Don't be a dick.

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May every effort you make toward kindness be multiplied by those who follow.

May the promise to vanquish every cruel, venomous word and action be sincere, not hollow.

May the phrase "active shooter drill" be stricken from every language. With purpose. 

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Paper Boat Races and The Floor Is Lava...

 

Hi!

Well, it's been a week of learning how to make paper boats and racing them down the rivers that only exist during a good Spring thaw, and in the imaginations of littles. There were also some games of checkers, crokinole, trouble (the Frozen edition of course), intense rounds of Uno, the floor is lava, and the first dip into the scrabble pool for people who, until very recently, struggled to tell the difference between numbers and letters. 

It's been a week filled with fruit and yogurt snacks, banana pancakes smothered in syrup, sprinkled with nuts,  and topped with whipped cream. It's been a week of chicken quesadillas, grilled cheese, sloppy joes, pizza, and a newly discovered favourite... croissants. 

As you might have guessed, I had the privilege of spending the last several days with three of our grandbabies. These three, aged, 11,9 and 7, still like coming to Grandma and Grandpa's for sleepovers. Who knows how long it will remain a desired destination. We are thrilled to take advantage of their enthusiasm for however long it lasts. 

Meanwhile, the outside world kept turning. Humanity kept showing both ends of its spectrum and everything in between. Some of those considered powerful are inching ever closer to accountability. Some of those considered powerless have demonstrated their strength, and willingness to use it. 

I am cautiously optimistic that real change is coming. Kindness and acceptance are slowly turning the tide on those who want to ban books, dictate gender and sexuality, and tell women what they can and can't do with their own bodies. 

Those who spew hate against anything and everything they don't understand, which could fill entire libraries, ironically enough, are finding that mistaking kindness and acceptance for weakness is, was, and always will be a huge blunder, a concept with which they should be coming all too familiar.

The most oppressed groups, when they band together, become the majority. Of everything. All of it. 

So, show your rainbows. Dress how you wish, love who you love, be who you are. Be who you aspire to become. Be that. Read what you want to read, show your children ALL the history. the good, the bad, the light, and the dark. Be a parent, or not. Be married, or not. All of it.

The ugly underbelly of humanity has been revealed, brazenly, because they seem proud of their hate. Once shown, once thrown in our faces, we can no longer let it slide as just a few bad apples. The underbelly is showing, it's time to put an end to the hate, once and for all. 

Vote.  

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May your spring be filled with puddles that call your name.

May you jump in, you know you want to, embrace your wild, set aside your tame. 

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Pay Attention To The Young Ones... They Are Brilliant

Hi!

There is soooooo much going on.

It feels like a shift. A big one. Gen Z is having a coming-of-age moment. They are engaged and are demanding to be heard. They are a generation of acceptance, inclusion, and kindness. They are politically and socially aware, they are informed, they are smart, and they are willing to walk the walk. 

They are no longer the leaders of the future, they are the leaders of now. They are the generation born into school shootings, and climate change, baptized in the waters of right-wing backward thinking. They are not having it.

Even my Gen X, skepticism-infused soul can't help but feel hopeful, can't help but be inspired. 

This is a generation that has the ability and power to bring racism, homophobia, misogyny, genderphobia, xenophobia, anti-semitism, hell all kinds of hate to its knees. They are not intimidated by the powers that be. 

They don't want to have to work two or three jobs their entire adult lives just to make ends meet, and we shouldn't want or expect them to. The "we had to, it builds character, you have to do what you have to do" mentality needs a reset. 

Shouldn't we want better for those who come after us? Just because we had it tough we think that's how it should be? The fact that some wish that struggle for the generations that follow us says so much more about us than them. 

The attitude that they are lazy, or entitled is unfair. Sure some are, but you can't paint an entire generation with a single brush, with a single colour. They are doing the best they can with what we have given them. What we have given them is a hustle economy that requires 80-hour work weeks to get by. We have given them a housing market that almost ensures they will never own their own home. We have given them school shooter drills, threats to gender inclusivity, their environment, bodily autonomy and democracy. 

This generation will become the voting majority over the next election cycle or two. Thankfully. 

Pay attention to the young ones. They are brilliant. 

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May we let go of old thinking, the young are changing the world, as they should.

May we encourage the change, embrace new ideas, like we hoped our parents would. 

May we celebrate this new generation as they step into their coming-of-age.

May we build them up to be the leaders they'll need to be, help them channel their well-deserved rage. 

May we simply accept the world of their adulthood barely resembles the one we stepped into.

May we give way, we've passed on enough hardship, let's help them see this through. 

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So, What Do You Do......

 

H!

So What do you do when the world seems turbulent and you still have six-foot snowbanks in your yard? Well, personally, I bake. 

There always seems to be a lot happening at any given moment when it comes to current events.

Finland becoming part of NATO, finally.

Right-wing asshats trying to infect Canada with their poisonous rhetoric and dirty deeds.

The former Cheeto in Charge was FINALLY handed his first indictment. First, being the operative word there, as there are likely at the very least, a few more coming down the pike.

Our neighbours to the South had more babies slaughtered by weapons designed and meant for the sole purpose of war. Proving, once again where their priorities lie. 

Russia's invasion of Ukraine, and it is an invasion, roars on, but the advantage is leaning more in Ukraine's favour all the time. 

And that's just this week...

So Finland becoming part of NATO. It can only mean good things, as far as I can tell. Strengthening the co-operation among Nations who are willing to fight for democracy, cherish it, and want to nurture it, is extremely important. It becomes even more critical when you take into consideration the noise from those who like to ban books, wants to criminalize entire swaths of humanity, and remove women's rights over what happens to their bodies. 

Right-wing poison is doing its level best to seep into and take hold of our Home on Native Land. They are trying to turn our great white north into Florida with its backward thinking. No thanks. 

Indicted! Finally! If this wasn't so serious, it would be absolutely comical, the way his sycophants are tripping all over themselves to get the first taste of his backside. They can't seem to kiss it hard or fast enough. They are literally on the verge of tears. "If they can indict him, they could indict any of us!" Seems to be a favourite talking point. Yeah, that's the point. If there is enough evidence and testimony to support an indictment, the person or persons under investigation should be indicted. That's how the judicial system is supposed to work. They fought against his impeachments, they claimed you can't indict a sitting president, but now that he's out of office, they still are arguing that he should get a pass.

 It makes absolutely no sense. They argue that indicting him is bad for their Country. The opposite is true. On the world stage, it's extremely important for democracy the world over, to show that there is accountability, no matter who you are. No one is above the law. Period. Freaking out, trying to claim there is no case before the charges are even revealed or any evidence is provided, shows your hand. You don't care what he did, you think he should get away with it. 

Innocent people have no need to attack their prosecutors. If he is innocent, the evidence will show it. It's ridiculously comical, the depth of hypocrisy at play here. The chants of "lock her up", that have been screamed for years, with 30 count them, 30 republican run investigations into Hillary producing 0 evidence of wrongdoing. Those same mouths want to claim that this Tangerine Tyrant is being politically persecuted. He has skimmed the edges of consequence for decades, criming his little heart out along the way, it's just finally all catching up to him. 

The funniest part? If he had just never run for president, he would have probably continued to carry on criming in private. He could still be making all the sketchy deals with even sketchier people. Screwing over tradespeople, frauding all over the place, and getting away with it, all of it. 

But he made a different choice. He chose to shine the spotlight on himself, his business dealings, his racism, his misogyny, anti-semitism, his homophobia, his xenophobia. He chose that. He chose to grift his followers into funding his crimes. He chose to try to intimidate, manipulate, cheat on his taxes, steal documents, then claim ownership of them. He chose to make phone calls trying to extort non-existent votes from places where there were none. He pushed people to do illegal and violent things on his behalf, thinking he could skirt the edges just a little longer. 

Our neighbours to the South, for some reason, keep electing people into office that prioritize power, money, and their gun fetish over their babies. The "pro-life" screamers just let them die. They actually suggest arming teachers. You don't trust them to choose books, you call them groomers, you want to criminalize teaching history, but you trust them to carry and use guns in very close proximity to your kids. You think that active shooter drills are normal. They’re not. Ask anybody outside of the U.S. Empty thoughts and prayers are exactly the insult they seem. 

Right-wingers are going out of their way to carry Putin's water. Trying to downplay his horrific invasion of a sovereign Ukraine. This baffles me. It makes no sense. It can't. He's an evil dictator that gives no value to human life. All he cares about is keeping power. By whatever means necessary. Period. 

So, if you actually DO care about how your country is perceived by the world, here it goes.

Quit defending the asshat you made the grave mistake of making your cult leader and start defending your kids. The living, breathing, walking-around, skipping, jumping, learning, loving kids. 

We see you. We are watching. How you move forward in this moment will be written in the history books with permanent ink, for all the world to see, for generations to come.

Not through the eyes of conspiracy, but through the effects of your actions.