Stripping Colours From The Unicorn Spirit...

 Hi,

Well, moreof the idiocy is migrating North.

Here, where I live, in the year 2023, the powers that be have decided in their misguided, misinformed, narrow minds, that it would, somehow, be a good idea to force queer children to bare their souls to their parents with complete disregard of these childrens' home support situation. And, if the kids can't or don't want to do it, their parents will be informed no matter what. 

Without giving a single thought to the trauma, the discourse, and sometimes, straight out danger they might be putting these children in, the adults in charge of rules and laws, the supposedly educated grown-ups, simply refuse to accept the fact that queer kids deserve protection. And yes, sometimes, sadly, and mostly because of people who think like this, the ones they need protection from, are their parents. 

A lot of us have grown up in households where we felt we couldn't reveal all of who we are. For fear of being judged, punished, ridiculed, or worse. In my case, it was a small thing. Growing up, and to this day, I had and have, a passion for the performing arts. But, as you grow, getting told to sit down, be quiet,  and stop showing off, both in subtle and not-so-subtle ways often enough, you eventually take it to heart that there is something wrong with you that makes you love these things. I actually had to lie to my parents about directing the play for Drama in grade twelve until after school rehearsals became necessary. I did so, calculating that at that point they couldn't prevent me from continuing without losing face. 

I still have to work on ignoring those voices that want to squelch the joy I get from singing on stage, and writing things other people actually enjoy reading. 

It was a very small thing compared to what some of these precious kids have to go through. To force them to bare themselves before they are ready is simply abuse. 

The decision-makers say they are fighting for the parents. They say this like teachers and support staff are somehow conspiring against said parents. It's stupid. Shouldn't the decision-makers be fighting for the kids? Isn't that who they should be striving to protect? 

Ten-year-old children have the ability and maturity to recognize this as the cruel blunt object this is, why can't some adults?

The rule apparently reads that children, while attending school, from here on out shall be referred to by the name on their birth certificate only.

Soooooo, no nicknames then. Not for athletes, friends. Hell, my kids attended a school where most kids had nicknames. They were introduced by nicknames, known by nicknames. It was a thing. Does this mean if your name is David on your birth certificate, they can no longer call you Dave? Three of our grandkids are Jacob, Elaina, and Isabella. They are, and likely always will be Jake, Laney and Izzy. Will that be allowed?

I know a lot of you will think that this point is ridiculous, that I have somehow gone too far. The thing is, if you are creating ridiculous rules, you better think them through. Just like the book banning nuts not thinking it through and, in turn, because of their own rules, the Bible was banned for it is rife with violence, incest, and all kinds of sex-type things. 

Not every child goes home to love. Not every child goes home to acceptance. Sometimes children need to keep their most precious things about themselves hidden to keep themselves safe.

If you want to fix something, fix that, and not what is on the verge of not needing fixing at all. 

You want to fight for the parents? Make it so they don't need to take out a second mortgage to buy school supplies and clothes for their kids. Make sure they can afford to light and heat their home this winter without having to sacrifice groceries. And, speaking of groceries, maybe you should be fighting for living wages so we can reduce the need for food banks. Maybe you should be looking into how much it costs to keep a roof over their heads, to work toward actually solving our homeless issues instead of shuffling those who are struggling into a dark corner, because you can't deny what's in plain sight. 

There are a plethora of things that need to be fixed in our province, not the smallest of which is to reverse the gutting of our health system. But that's a discussion for another day.

Queer kids don't need fixing. The attitudes that want to force them into the spotlight just to turn around and tell them to sit down and shut up, do. 

I've tried to find the reasoning behind this new rule. Trying to figure out what actual purpose it's supposed to serve. When you follow it to the end, there isn't one, except it makes the queerphobic community feel like they still have control. That they can still suppress somebody. That the rule writers are trying to appease a swath of voters who feel like they are losing control. 

News flash. The young ones, like my grandbabies, and their counterparts are celebrating birthdays left and right, becoming the age of majority, daily, as we speak. Their voices are getting louder and more powerful, and soon they will be in charge. 

Personally, I can't wait. The harder you try to strip the colours of their unicorn spirits, the stronger and brighter they will become. They will have no choice if they want to survive, thrive, and live without fear in their deserved, rightful freedom, to be all of who they are. 

Parents, if your child is having to hide the fact that they are queer to such lengths that you actually, truly, have no clue, that says everything about what's wrong with you, what's lacking in you, not them. 

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May you, who make the rules, embrace some true understanding of what they will actually do.

May you gain some insight, what if that kid was yours, or what if it was you.

May you understand that you can't dictate what kids tell their parents, it's insidious, ridiculous and cruel.

May you stop to think how you are stoking the fire of homophobia, flaming the flames, adding fuel.

May you finally just get the fact that the queer community is here to stay, no matter how young you feed them the poison that somehow they are 'wrong.'

May you just let them be, let them explore, let them thrive, stop trying to strip them of their colours, just allow them to be strong. 

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Where Unicorn Skies Kiss The Open Fields...

 

Hi!

It's all but impossible not be in complete awe when you live where this happens on a pretty regular basis. 

Living in the wide open can, if you let it, leave a lot of room to grow. Having never lived in a big city, or a city of any kind for more than about eight months, I can only speak from the perspective I've lived. Now, before all of the city dwellers out there jump all over me about my limited life experience, all I ask is that you understand that the very same thing can be said of your life experience. 

Just as I have never experienced the hip-to-hip crowds of an NYC subway, or living in an apartment complex that houses more people than live in my entire town, you have never experienced the devastating silence that can threaten to swallow you whole, or a complete and absolute lack of anonymity. Just as I can't possibly know the feeling of walking down sidewalks so packed that literal brushes with humanity are inevitable, or what it's like to be stuck in traffic for more than a minute or two, you can't fathom the idea of having to drive 20 miles for a jug of milk, or living at least an hour and a half from the nearest Starbucks. 

My point is this. We should never assume things.

I can't assume that, because you live entrenched in diversity, that because you interact with greater swaths of humanity in a day than I encounter in months, you have some inherent sense of inclusivity. 

By that same token, you can't assume that, because I live where diversity needs to be sought out, where anyone new tends to be noticed... instantly, I have a closed mind when it comes to accepting every human with open arms just as they are. 

This is why I believe it's important for all of us to live somewhere unfamiliar to us. I don't think you have to stay there, but I really believe we should all sit at a table other than the one we grew up at long enough to get a fair sampling of what it's like.

We tend to be comfortable staying with what we know, what's familiar, where we know the lay of the land, where we can navigate blindfolded if we need to. But, how can we grow, how can we really know we've lived our lives as broadly, as widely, and with as much depth as we were meant to if we never change the scenery, never turn the page?

I don't think it even takes a move that far. I don't think you have to move to a different country, or even a different province or state to gain the benefits. It simply takes a move far enough that you don't know anyone, and nobody knows you. It takes a move far enough to surround yourself with quiet if noise is what you know, and throw you into chaos if peace is all you've lived.

We have such a short time to walk this planet, it's a shame to avoid discomfort when that is the very thing that can push us to live the biggest life we can. 

Where the unicorn skies kiss the open fields, I feel at peace. But, that's me.

Living in the city, I found myself seeking out some modicum of quiet by heading to the roof of my apartment building in the middle of the night. I wanted so badly to like it there. The hustle, the people, always having something to do, walking distance to everything.

Someone else, I'm sure, would be driven to madness by the quiet, by the solitude. You'd likely be finding your own rooftop trying desperately to find what you didn't know you could possibly miss. 

One person's peace is another person's torment. 

Just because I am not wired to live the way you live and find peace, doesn't make your way of living somehow wrong. 

Embracing diversity does nothing but help us live bigger, brighter, and better lives. It builds understanding, which can do nothing but breed compassion and empathy.

Sounds awesome to me.

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May you live broad, bright, shiny, and as big as your biggest dream.

May you stride outside of comfort, test the waters, test them all, for not everything is as it may seem.

May you be willing to embrace all colours of the rainbow, judging only by how they treat others.

May you, in doing so, find there are fabulous humans everywhere, just waiting to be discovered.

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Consequences Of The Pursuit Of Brilliance...

 Hi!

So, over the past couple of weeks, my hubby and I went to two movies. We took part in the Barbenheimer idea. 

First, Barbie.

This movie hit me in ways I never expected. I found myself holding back tears in a few different places, over lines and scenes that I'm not certain were designed to do so. 

This, at least to me, was so much more than just a fun, bright, funny, musical offering of entertainment. Of course, I had read some articles and seen different videos providing some pretty polarizing opinions about the movie and the themes therein. But, like with everything, I don't base my opinion on something off of what others may think. I went in with an open mind, and left with an inspired, if not bit broken, heart.

Barbie is heartbroken when she finds out that the women in the 'real world' are still struggling with so many of the same things she thought she and her sister Barbies had 'fixed.' 

The innocent and opposite experiences she and Ken have when they first arrive in the real world tell you everything. He feels empowered, she feels diminished. Right out of the gate. 

In Barbie world, the Kens are sidelined, treated as support for the Barbies, the 'arm candy' for lack of a better phrase. The Barbies hold all of the positions of power. The Barbies run the world. 

The whole thing was a stark reminder of just how far we have yet to go. As women, as men, as a humanity that likes to pretend things are a lot more 'equal' than facts and stats prove. 

Some men seem to be very threatened by the themes in this movie. They look at it as an attack. None of the videos I've seen, nor articles I've read give a real reason why they are so upset. What in particular do you believe is sooooo demeaning, derogatory? 

Guys, if you are that upset at a movie that simply depicts men being treated in a fantasy world the way women are treated in the actual world, you are getting upset for all the wrong reasons. If you found the way the Kens are treated in Barbie land, although a bit, and I do mean a bit, exaggerated, your rage should be aimed at the actual inequality that women face in the real world every single, bloody day. 

These upset men say that the movie is filled with man-hating, emasculating ideas. Ok. So using that logic, and the fact that this is simply a flip, a mirror held up to this slightly magnified version of the world we live in every day, why can't you accept it as insight instead of insult? 

That, in and of itself tells us, as women everything we need to know about just how far we haven't come. If being treated the way we do feels like an attack, an insult, a dehumanizing way to walk through the world, why do insist we live that way? 

In the real world, not some imagining put forth on the big screen, we are treated as less than with impossible standards to live up to at every turn. 

Until the real world implements levers to bring about actual equality for everyone, I don't want to hear men, especially straight white ones, complain about how 'unfair' their depiction in this one particular movie was. Boys, it's time to watch movies through a different lens. If you can muster the balls, I challenge you to watch pretty much any movie, but definitely action movies flipping the characters' genders in your mind and see how that sits. Try doing it without prejudice, without your ego getting in the way, with a completely open mind and heart. Just try it. For not just your sake, but for the sake of your mothers, sisters, daughters, nieces, and friends. 

Then there was Oppenheimer.

First, a bit of a case in point. If this string of historic events had taken place last week, I'm not sure that many, or any, more roles would have been filled by women than were filled in the 1930's, '40s, and '50s. The political roles, the physicists' roles, people on powerful boards and committees, etc. 

I left this movie with an almost overwhelming case of the 'what ifs.' What if the brilliant minds would have refused to move forward once they found out the full intent of the powers that be. What if Oppenheimer had acquiesced to his conscience, his instincts. What if the powers that be had integrity, empathy, and compassion for all humans and not just interest in flexing military muscle. 

Could a cold war have been avoided? Would we, as a planet, still live under constant nuclear threat? Would war-loving minds have simply come up with a different way to have a dick-measuring contest? Inevitable, or avoidable? We'll never know for sure.

Consequences of the pursuit of brilliance. Especially brilliance that also has a conscience.

The science was elegant, incredible, beautiful. The consequences, horrific, devastating, ugly.

The reasoning that was behind the mushroom cloud decisions was shortsighted. It seems that Japan was on the verge of surrender without the threat of devastation. Was the horror actually necessary, or just a way to show their big stick? Again, we will likely never really know. 

I left this movie a bit terrified and wary of those in charge of defense decisions, disappointed in humanity and the cruelty we are capable of, and a bit anxious for what might come next. 

I truly there are those of us who are blessed with the gift of brilliance for a purpose. To help humanity survive, thrive, and move forward, improving life for each and every being on this earth. Strides in medicine, safe energy, and the everyday lives of all of us.

I can't believe these gifts are bestowed to make things worse. The worst of us are the only ones who twist logic, and tilt history to paint villains with a hero's brush.

Ironically, this is generally the same swath of people who are trying to paint Greta Gerwig, the brilliance behind the Barbie movie, a hero, at least to me, with the brush of a villain.

In closing...

It's okay for women to wield power. Really. It is. If women getting treated on an equal plain as men is somehow triggering for you, you need to take a much closer look at you. If you are threatened by equality, well, that just tells you how much further you need to go. If you feel emasculated by a mere movie that depicts women as the ones in power in some fantasy world, your masculinity is as fragile as a neglected newborn left outside in a tornado. 

It's okay to NOT weaponize brilliance, and just let it be used for pure good. Really. It is. 

Albeit art, science, or something else entirely, we can just let it be brilliant without tarnishing it with hate. 

And Just Like That... We Only Have Half The Summer Left!

 

Hi!

In the part of the world I call home, summer is half over. 

School supplies are creeping into the stores, along with fall fashions. The commercials on tv are acting like summer is already in the rearview mirror.

What's the rush?

There is always talk in the ethos about living in the moment. Being present. Living one day, one moment, at a time.

That sounds awesome. the thing is, how are we supposed to do that while at the exact same time, we are constantly being bombarded with what's coming next. I can almost guarantee that I will still be sporting tank tops and shorts when the first Christmas ads grace the screens. 

Can you just give us a break? Allergy med ads in Feb. Summer ads in April. Back to school ones in July. Well, it's August now, so the pumpkin latte ads will be hitting any minute, followed closely by ones for Halloween, and Christmas. 

Well, I've decided that I'm not going to give them permission to make me feel rushed. I'm not going to let them make me feel stressed that I am somehow "behind" if I'm not buying snow tires in September. That I'm going to miss all the "deals" if I don't run out or go online and buy all the fall things this minute. That I have to constantly run to stay ahead of whatever imaginary tragedy will happen if I just let myself enjoy summer.

I'm reclaiming my time.

I'm not going to allow myself to get sucked into the void of hurry-up. Life provides enough of that without encouragement. I'm not going to add to it on purpose. 

So, yeah, do what you need to do when you need to, not when the marketing people say your need to. As long as your kids have what they need when school actually starts, you're good. 

You do you. If you LIKE to shop early, do it. If you don't, don't. 

Reclaim your time. It's yours, you get to decide how it's spent. 

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May time slow down to whatever pace works best for you and yours.

May you reclaim your time, spending it however you wish, dancing in the rain, eating s'mores.

May you simply let the fabricated rush, pass you by.

May hold on to the moments, squeezing out every drop of joy, laughter, and satisfied sigh. 

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It never seems to fail.