So Where Do We Go From Here....

Hi,



Your truths will sit with me for as long as I breathe. I will forever be humbled by your courage, and live in awe of the strength you show every single day.


So, where do we go from here.....


We march on. If our strength fades, we find it in the voices of others. If we refuse to be silent, they will eventually have to hear us. If we keep throwing the lights on, they will have fewer shadows in which to hide. If we stay steadily emboldened, they will no longer be able to say we are compelling and believable, then ignore us anyway.

I feel I would be remiss if I didn't talk about a narrative being put forth by some.


"It's a dangerous time for men"


I guess I just don't get it.

What exactly are men suddenly in danger of? Can it be as simple as they are in danger of being held accountable for their actions?

Do they fear they are in danger of a rash of false accusations?

Ask any woman, dude, finding your voice and giving volume to the whispers that haunt your dreams is not exactly a party. The truth is, false allegations rarely happen.


Do they fear that women are going to somehow try to "entrap' them into some kind of sexual assault?

Really? Get over yourself, what the hell would be the purpose? Why would we subject ourselves to that kind of trauma and danger on purpose when we spend our day to day lives trying to avoid it?

Do they fear that all women are suddenly going to construe everything as sexual harassment or assault?

Relax, this is not our first rodeo. We have not had our senses of humour surgically removed. All we ask is that you refrain from being creepy. Don't be a pushy prick, don't grab us, don't say things to us you wouldn't want somebody to say to your sister. Don't rub us with your junk on buses, or anywhere else. In short, don't assault us. Need a meter, some kind of gauge? Ask for permission instead of forgiveness. Accept the answer.  Problem solved.


Do they fear they will somehow accidentally assault someone?

Rest easy, this is highly unlikely. Assault is a choice, not an accident. We can tell the difference, trust me.


It kind of boils down to this. If you are a decent guy who treats women with genuine respect. You know, like people, you will be fine. If you are a guy who is suddenly rethinking past behavior and finding incidents that would piss off your Mom, straighten the hell up. If you are a guy that thinks that all the women are lying, that they are making things up to smear you, you are about to get a rude, and much overdue awakening.

For those who still think "It's a dangerous time for men"

The next time you have to think twice about what you're wearing, or are placing your keys strategically between your fingers, you can start the conversation about how dangerous it is for you.  When your body is consumed by that horrible, but too familiar feeling at the sound from behind you, the footsteps conveniently syncing with yours, you can start that conversation. When you can never let your drink out of sight, when you need to be on guard 24/7, when you need to not go out alone, when some random guy rubs up against and/or grabs your ass, you can start.

Until then, buckle up, Princess.


Time's up.



I hope you don't feel that I am making light of any of this because my smartass is showing a bit. I assure you, I definitely do not.

I'm just sick of crying, I'm sick of being upset, I'm sick of the darkness churning in the pit of my stomach, I'm sick of my chest being tight, I'm sick of not sleeping, I'm sick of it all. I'm exhausted.

When I have no more tears, my default is smartass. To be honest, it's not just when I have no more tears.





Your truths will sit with me for as long as I breathe. I will forever be humbled by your courage, and live in awe of the strength you show every single day.




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Until Next Time.........


May we create a world where we can walk around drunk in an unlit park unafraid.
May we create a world where we can be, wherever, whenever, never feeling like prey.

May we create a world where we are never on the receiving end of uninvited touch.
May we create this world for our daughters and granddaughters, it's not asking too much.


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