2020... The Worst Houseguest Ever!

 Hi!

Well folks, 2020 is very close to being in the rearview mirror. 

Good riddance!

Let's give it the send-off it deserves, shall we? 

To me, 2020 has been the absolute worst houseguest ever.

It came in polite enough, pretty quiet, friendly, well-behaved. Then it got comfortable. Too comfortable.

It got drunk and peed in every closet, threw up in every corner of every room, brought bed bugs, played frisbee with the heirloom china, exploded marshmallows in the microwave, and ruined every family gathering, It burned holes in the couch, and the carpet, insulted the neighbours, hit on your Mom, and jammed up your plumbing. It spit in every one of your cups of coffee, cooked cabbage, rotten fish, and bacon on high heat without lids, and left you to clean up the mess. 

It traumatized your kids, tried to kill Grandma, and refused to take off their shit-covered boots while running laps throughout the entire house. It left dirty towels, and skid-marked underwear all over the bathroom floor with a generous sprinkling of mystery hairs all over the shower after using your favourite loofah. It ate you out of house and home, leaving behind half-eaten yogurts, mere crumbs, and a few drops in milk jugs and juice containers.

 It thought it was funny to prank you by waking you in the middle of the night wearing a Pennywise mask and wielding a butcher knife It called your boss, pretended to be you, called them a bunch of horrible names, and quit. 

Yeah 2020, it's time for you to go. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.  Or do. Yeah, do.

So let's raise a glass or two or ten and celebrate the fact that it's over. It was a crazy, stressful year full of heartache and loss. Onward and Upward! 

Sorry to write and run, but I have a houseguest to usher out the door, throw off the porch, and then, my friends, I'm changing the friggin' locks!

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May every one of us find a way through all of the pain 2020 has forced upon us.                                  May we honour the lives of those taken by this nightmare by living the lives they would want for us.

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Until next year...