Happy Mother's Day!
I thought we might take a minute to celebrate the Moms.
I know the world is still in a state of upheaval. I know the disgusting, brutal attack on Ukraine is still raging. I know there are still people out there insisting on playing pretend about a very real pandemic.
I just thought in the midst of it all, maybe to spite it, I thought we could all use a moment to step out of all of that, and take a little jaunt down a peaceful path bathed in peaceful, warm light, soft music, and sappy sentiment.
So...Moms.
Whether by blood, through adoption, or through happenstance... Moms.
Being a Mom is like being an athlete in the Olympics. One where participants participate in spectacular events, events in which perfect scores are impossible, and success is relative.
Know that going in.
The events include, but are not exclusive to, the following:
First event...Bodily fluid management-
This event requires accuracy, dexterity, focus, and a strong stomach. It involves being able to change a blowout diaper in public, crowded spaces where smell travels. Bonus marks are given if you can change this blowout while simultaneously settling a fight between said baby's preschool siblings. In a home setting another set of bonus points can be earned if no longer than 30 seconds passes between the initial "Mom! Come wipe my bum!" and the actual act of wiping said bum.
This event also includes staying up with sick kids for multiple nights in a row cleaning up vomit, making weak tea, and changing sheets, spending the days doing laundry, keeping up with all other obligations, and performing the required cuddling that we all know makes everybody feel better.
The final faction of this event requires wiping multiple snotty noses... while blindfolded...with no boundaries as to where the littles can run.
Second event... Release into the world-
This event requires stamina, focus, and the ability to not project your fears and apprehensions onto your child. It involves handing your children off to either a daycare or school (the timing varies for each athlete) where they will spend hours away from you, where you will not have a minute-by-minute accounting of their time and activities. Bonus points can be earned by not crying. Double Bonus points can be earned by smiling throughout the whole ordeal.
Thrid event... Realization-
This event requires every Mom to be hit upside the head multiple times with the realization that not everyone on the planet will love, or even like, your child. Bonus points in this event can be earned by helping your child/children understand that of course this is true, and, better yet, it's just fine.
Fourth event... adolescence/teenagedom-
This event requires enormous amounts of patience and understanding. Skills involve supporting and guiding prickly, crabby, hormone-driven blind=folded humans through the gauntlet that is adolescence. The goal is to help them navigate this maze with as few scars as possible. Best results in this event occur when more time is spent listening than speaking.
The fifth and final event... the marathon-
This event requires stamina... in every way imaginable.
You will be tested. You will be pushed beyond your limits more times than you can count. You will love the vast majority of the journey, but there will be parts that make you question entering this Olympics at all. There will be times when you feel you have no shot of success, and there will be times when you feel like you are absolutely crushing it. Over time you will discover that those two feelings are not mutually exclusive.
There will be uphill battles that will seem endless, but there will also be times when things seem to coast along effortlessly.
There will be moments when you want to ditch the whole experiment, but those are overwhelmingly outnumbered by the moments you are smothered in joy, sticky kisses, and random hugs.
In the end, there are no winners or losers, only participants who have done their best with the tools they have.
So, the judges can take the day off. They are not needed for this event. So give yourself a gold medal. You deserve it. Or better yet, just accept it in whatever form it takes from those who call you Mom.
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May your breakfast in bed and handmade gift not be crafted from the same ingredients.
May you actually get a moment of quiet and peace, your day filled with their sweet innocence.
May you allow yourself to celebrate you. You've earned it. It's your day, embrace it.
May you step to the mirror, accept the kick-ass mom you see, she's yours, she's you, face it.
May we all accept that we aren't perfect, and neither should we be expected to be.
May we all embrace our best as enough, our best is all our littles need or see.
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