Life Is Still Beautiful...

Photo Credit: My Hubby

 Hi!

So, here we are.

The drunken toddlers are in charge of one of the most powerful countries in the world. I can't help but wonder what historians will make of this in 50 years. How it will be examined by scholars, students, anthropologists, writers, and psychologists. Maybe they will better be able to piece together how we got here from further away. 

It will likely baffle all of them for a long while.

But.....

We can't remain in the doom and gloom of it. I know I can't. The sometimes obnoxiously perpetual optimist that I am won't allow it. It's happening, now we just have to be vigilant, and do our best.

Kindness and empathy will eventually get the upper hand. Karma didn't retire, she'll show up and strike when the time is right. 

In the meantime...

Whatever we choose to feed tends to be what flourishes. I'm making a conscious choice to feed light. Feeding the dark can do nothing but bring misery. Personally, misery is not the place where I want to reside.

Most of what happens in this world does so without our permission. All we can do is accept that, roll with it, do our best to stay true to who we are, and continue to stand up for those who need it most. 

This, by no means we roll over and play dead. It doesn't mean we decimate boundaries. It just means we live our lives grabbing joy, matching every ounce of the enthusiasm your dog greets you with after a long day. 

The choices people have made will come home to roost soon enough. We just have to do what we can to redirect the shrapnel of those choices so they don't hit innocent bystanders. 

So, keep being your fabulous selves. Keep dancing. Keep cooking. Keep celebrating. Leave misery to those who picked it. 

Let them.

They picked it. Let them own it. They won't need our help. It will happen because they choose misery, hate, and anger at every turn. Don't allow yourself to get swallowed into their dark pit. Don't allow them to steal your joy, at least not for too long.

Life is still beautiful. We may just have to work a little harder to see that for a while.

Create your joy. Run a tub full of it and soak. 

Congratulations...

 Hi!

Over the past few days, I've been struggling. 

Struggling to make sense of what is happening.

Struggling to hang on to positivity.

Struggling, as I am finding out that a huge chunk of those who voted for Captain Shitshispants did so out some fantasy that they think he stands for. Completely and utterly unaware of what his plans are for them.

I guess there was a reason that during his speeches he kept talking about windmills, Hannibal Lecter, and gave blow jobs to microphones. The 'look the other way' strategy, whether intentional, or just another symptom of his dementia, worked.

They have absolutely no idea what they voted for, and now they are going to, if they are very lucky, have ONLY four years of living with the consequences of their choices. My heart breaks for those who will be collateral damage. 

To those who chose Captain Asshat...

There is a difference...

With her, we would have proven you wrong.

With him, you'll prove us right.

The biggest difference being the amount of people who get hurt, or worse, in the process. 

There are already little girls in elementary schools being pushed around by boys yelling, repeating, taunting with "your body MY choice!"

There are already texts going out to black students in colleges and high schools telling them they should prepare to report to some kind of slavery coalition and that they will be assigned to plantations.

There are still two months until he actually takes office. Do you think this kind of crap ISN'T going to amplify when he actually takes his seat in the Oval?

You thought it was crazy last time. 

Buckle up.

Now the guardrails are gone. You know, the guardrails that were adults, generals, serious, experienced people who understood the gravity of the job. You know, the guardrails that worked the closest to him and got to know him best. You know, the guardrails that warned against voting for him, that explained over and over again why and just how dangerous he is. 

Now his cherry-picked Supreme Court has given him immunity on anything he does while in office.

Now that your opportunity to ever vote again is not guaranteed.

Now that every woman and girl no longer has control of what happens to her body.

They think he cares about them. Still. If it wasn't so sad and terrifying it would be funny, the level of delusion these people live under.

One young lady was interviewed as she came out of the voting station. She was with her boyfriend. Asked who she voted for, she said "trump,' as she looked to her boyfriend beside her. When asked why, her reply was "he said he wouldn't ban abortion." At this, her boyfriend couldn't help but snicker, she looked over at him with a shocked confused look. The reporter walked away.

Many voted because of the tariffs. Now they are finding out in real time that it means not at all what they have been lead to believe. 

People...

Research... actual research... requires more of you than just watching anecdotal videos, and listening to podcasts with only one point of view.

It requires looking into public records on how your candidates vote. 

It requires digging into how they have walked through life, thus far. 

It requires looking into past actions, who they speak up for, and who they speak up against.

The way you conduct your life, the way you treat people along the way, the way you make your living, speaks to the core of who you are as a human.

Find out who and what you are voting for before you vote. Don't just take in what they are telling you during the campaign, while they are trying to win you over. Don't listen to the ads. Dig. Don't listen to the insults. Dig. 

Don't be the person thinking you are voting for cheaper eggs and get your Christmas bonus revoked due to your boss needing to stock up on product because of the tariffs he knows are coming. 

Don't be the person that is now finding yourself in panicked parent groups because he plans on gutting public education, and the programs that you benefit from through the school for free, are going to go away and you can't afford to pay out of pocket. 

Don't be the person who lives on disability, or relies on medicare, or has pre-existing conditions, or lives month to month on social security, that is going to soon find out just what the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" crowd really means by that. 

Don't be the person who works for minimum wage, thinking gas is just too expensive, that now has to take a cut in pay because the minimum limit ceases to exist. 

Don't think that, as an immigrant, you are safe because you aren't one of the "bad" ones he was talking about, only to find out that last time he had the power, thousands of people exactly like you were booted without cause. 

Don't be the person who votes for policies that will put your neighbours, your friends, your family, or anyone in actual, physical danger. 

But here we are.

A Putin fangirl, adjudicated rapist, misogynist, racist, fascist, queerphobic, dementia-riddled, fraudulent, bankrupted, 34-count convicted, bigoted felon has been elevated to the highest office in the world... again. 

The consequences of your choices are going to be felt the world over, and will have generational repercussions.

Congratulations. 

We are already hearing the echoes of "But I didn't know..." That is a bullshit copout. If you didn't know it was your conscious choice not to find out. You watch a few tiktoks and youtube videos that algorithms push in front of you and watch news that only speaks to one point of view and call it "research."

Bullshit. Do the work. Public records are just that. Public. Look up how they vote. Look up how they live their life. Use google for more than to look up porn. 

You don't get drunk, drive, kill someone and then plead that you didn't know it would happen so it's not your fault.

You voted for whatever comes down the pike. All of it. Now you get to own all of it. You don't get the luxury of hiding behind the fact that you can't accurately separate fact from fantasy. 

Nope.

The first time, you wanted to give him a chance. You wanted all of us to give him a chance, and he put children in cages and told the world that injecting cleanser would cure covid.

This time you know. And you did it anyway.

Now you get to own the consequences. 

Congratulations. 

**********************************************************************

Aaaaand The Days Get Shorter....

 

Hi!

Well, goodbye October!

October has been filled with beautiful skies, and warmer-than-normal weather, ending with a fun Halloween that included singing for some very sweet elderly people, then rushing home to scare some kids and their parents just enough to make them squeal a bit, and maybe pee a little... aaaand give away a bunch of candy. 

November is going to be a banner month... I can feel it in my bones. Big changes are in the air... good ones, maybe even great ones. 

The Holiday season is starting to enter conversations, sometimes because it feels like we are forced to because of retail ads and decorations. Back-to-school, Halloween, and the Holidays seem to happen within the span of a week. 

Time flies fast enough, give us a minute to savour it, would ya?

Give yourself permission to take a breath. You're allowed to live life at your own pace... at least for the most part. 

As the days shorten, and the nights gain power, optimism is a virtue that becomes a bit tenuous for many. Because of this, it becomes even more important to celebrate every joy. Soaking in every light possible. keeping connected to family and friends, creating things to look forward to... these all help keep the dark outside where it belongs. 

I don't imagine there is any scientific proof of this, but I have a theory. I think those of us who struggle with the dwindling of daylight are the same ones who like to decorate for the Holidays early. It's a coping tool, whether it's a conscious one or not is another thing. 

Anyway...

There are two months left in this year, 2024. 

Let's make them count, shall we?

Let's make them memorable.

Let's make them joyous.

Let's make them shine. 

Words Matter...

Hi!

Words matter.

Certain words float around in the ether that are culturally, morally, societally, and universally understood as offensive, as hurtful, as just plain wrong.

Now, before you get your panties in a twist, I am not talking about your run-of-the-mill swear words or religious-type words that make my mom cringe. 

No, I'm talking about the racially and culturally charged ones that hit the ear with the force of a baseball bat swinging for the fences and reverberate through to your soul. Back in the day, it was easier to feign ignorance. That excuse no longer works... at all. With access to unlimited information, there isn't a person in the free world that should be confused.

If these words, and the attitudes you use to justify their use, flow from you with, or without hesitation, that's a choice. You know it's wrong, you know it's racist... you know... you simply choose to do it anyway.

If these words are coming from children and teenagers you are charged with raising, they learned it from you. 

Just keep this in mind. The world at large, the one you are sending them into, ceased to accept or tolerate these words or attitudes decades ago.

When you know better, you do better. 

You can't pretend you don't know better. Not. Any. More. 

Save the clutching of the pearls when what you say offends others. Save the scoffing like people are just being over-sensitive. Just save it.

Intentional and continued pretense of ignorance tells all of us who you are.

It speaks to your core character.

It speaks to how you see the world and how see yourself fitring in it.

It speaks to how you see anyone who lives outside of the tiny boxes you feel comfortable with. 

If you are still confused.

Words like that are NEVER ok. There is not a circumstance that exists in which it becomes even almost, remotely okay. Not in a joke. Not in a song. Not in reference. Just no. 

There aren't that many words that fall under this category. 

It's not that freakin' hard. If you find it difficult, maybe it's time for some deep introspection.  

Strip away the pretenses and excuses you give others and yourself, and dig into the real "why" behind your belief system. Behind your attitude. Behind your words. 

It has been my experience that if someone is willing to let racial slurs fly, then homophobic, body shaming, differently-abled ridiculing, and others, spew just as easily. 

In using these slurs, what is the goal?

If it's to present yourself to the world as a backward-thinking bigot, congratulations. Mission accomplished. 

*******************************************************************

 

Good Times Are Coming...

 

Hi!

Sometimes life is just hard. 

Full stop.

At times, it can feel like a darkness trying to swallow you whole. The only news you seem to be getting is bad news. The little things that go wrong begin to stack up, adding to the big stresses that are being dumped on your doorstep. You begin to feel destabilized, shaky, like the next thing regardless of how small, just might be the last thing you can handle without collapsing under the weight. 

These phases of life seem to happen to some people more than others. there doesn't seem to be rhyme nor reason. They happen regardless of how kind, how cruel, how accepting, how bigoted, how powerful, how absolutely average you are. But, as far as the stick of life goes, some definitely get handed the shitty end more than others. 

I'm not sure if that helps prove, disprove, or changes in any way, the concepts of karma, universal fate, or whatever, but these are my thoughts on the subject...

I think that everything that comes to us while we walk this earth is brought to us to teach us something about ourselves we have yet to learn, and need to know. Easy times can teach us just as much as hard ones. We find out if good fortune makes us more or less greedy. We find out if hard times make us bitter. We find out if, when things are going swimmingly, we remain grateful, or begin to feel entitled. We find out if, when things are moving along like a tornado within a hurricane on top of an earthquake, we can remain grateful, or do we surrender our joy. 

When things are going great, enjoy it! Celebrate it! Bathe in it! Soak it in! These are the times that fortify us for when things get tough. These are the memories we draw from in times of grief or loss of any kind, really. 

When things are going great, it's easy to start taking things for granted. It's easy to slip into a mindset that somehow we deserve nothing but good times, that we must be, in some way, just a little bit better than those whose lives don't sail along without a storm in site. Then, when something dark inevitably creeps from the shadows, we feel "why me" syndrome take hold. 

It takes hold, we aren't perfect. Of course it does. We just can't allow ourselves to lay down a foundation and build our life there, regardless of how seductive and easy that feels. Why me? Why not me is a much better question. 

When things get dark, although it can be a struggle, we are only human after all, it becomes more important than ever to hang on to every glimmer of light we can find, no matter how faint, how small. Sometimes, it's wearing super cute hats on chemo day, and all the days in between. Sometimes it's hanging out with those that matter to you most, simply catching up. Sometimes it's cranking music and dancing with the confidence of a sugar-buzzed toddler. Sometimes it's watching funny dog videos and old movies that you know make you laugh. Sometimes it's allowing yourself room to cry it out, cleansing the soul. 

If the glimmers elude you, please reach out. Someone will help bridge the gap between the grips and the grace. They may not do it perfectly, with the perfect words, but they can connect you to a space bigger than the weight of your stress, creating room to breathe. 

Find the little things, and hold them tight, good times are coming... 

Please Take Care...

 

Hi!

It's incredible to think that as a person takes these serene, whimsical, pretty autumn photos, a once-in-a-lifetime, crazy hurricane is making its way toward land, possessions, and fellow humans.

It's only been a couple of weeks since the last devastating hurricane carved its path through some gorgeous places that are vulnerable to these kinds of storms and the wrecking-ball aftermath that follows.

It baffles the mind to think that some are choosing to stay in its wake. They seem do this for various reasons. They don't believe it will be that bad, they are striving for clout on social media, and/or they think that somehow their presence will, in some way, save their property. You throw in a dose of conspiracy theories espousing people of a certain faith and political background are, somehow, magically, garnering the power needed to manipulate entire weather patterns, and I guess it explains at least part of the mystery of what keeps them there. 

Yes, where I live, the temperatures can drop to dangerous depths for at least a quarter of the year.

Yes, where I live, the temperatures can rise to dangerous heights for about six weeks out of the year.

Yes, we have devastating droughts.

Yes, we have devastating hail/thunderstorms and winds with the odd tornado thrown in for good measure, that on their own or in combination, have the power to level entire crops. 

But...

We don't have shattering earthquakes, or hurricanes. At least not yet. The way the weather patterns are ramping up, changing, and shifting, I imagine it's only a matter of time. I doubt it will be my lifetime, but, hey, who knows? 

My hope of hopes is that this storm won't be as horrible as the meteorologists are predicting, and that no one gets hurt because they stayed. Sadly, the reality will likely not reflect those wishes.

Mother Nature has a way of flexing her power whenever the mood suits her. We measly humans are but spectators. We can do what we can to protect ourselves, evacuate, shelter in place, the best thing... follow local emergency authorities' instructions. 

We, as a human race get caught up in ourselves, our egos, our agendas. Some go out of their way to make life miserable for others. Some go out of their way to make life inclusive, and safe for others. Some ignore all of it. 

Mother nature cares not what your belief system entails, whether or not you belong to an organized religion, the colour of your skin, or who you love. She flexes equally across the board, without mercy. 

For those in this monster's path, please stay as safe as possible. For those of us who live beyond its devastation, let's just do whatever we can to help. 

Please take care. 

But Were They Though???...

 

Hi!

I don't know about you, but I hear quite often how people are missing the so-called good old days. They are nostalgic for a rose-coloured image from a rearview mirror that distorts the perception into some romanticized version of the past. 

Most of the people I hear this from are included in a specific demographic. Privilege. 

If, in the past you, weren't allowed to buy a house, or rent one, for that matter, get a credit card, have a bank account, dress the way you like, love who you love, marry who you want to marry, felt that your biology didn't match your soul, or had a complexion other than translucent, chances are, you have zero desire to travel back in time. 

Personally, with every step of acceptance, with every move toward inclusivity, as generationally, the human race becomes less mayo-esque in hue, I find myself feeling more and more at peace with the world. 

There are certain parcels of people who want to shove people back into the closets they were forced to hide in. Trying to claim that the whole of the LBGTQ+ community are, somehow, newcomers to society.

If you look back far enough you will find that centuries ago, our rainbow warriors were revered as the rare and beautiful unicorns they are. It was a subtle shift in society, slowly, as men stopped wearing tights and wigs and society came to believe that "others" needed to be owned, suppressed, hidden, and/or simply destroyed, that treatment of those who no longer fit in these ever-tightening societal 'norms' went completely off the rails. 

As organized religions became more powerful, seizing ownership of everyone's moral compass, claiming the "my beliefs are correct and the rest of you are damned" mentality, they began to make their own rules, turning their religious beliefs into laws for all. 

Now, the religions with the wealthiest members, 99.9% white, of course, made the most rules, colonizing, forcing themselves both literally and metaphorically upon fellow humans, wherever their money took them. They stole children under the guise of salvation, they imprisoned, they enslaved, they abused, whip in one hand and a bible in the other. 

Then, in very recent history, new generations began to recognize the poison. and started to push for change. Civil unrest became the instrument, the antidote, to make it possible. Young people who were willing to push against the antiquated thinking of their parents and grandparents, changed the world. 

Progress became tangible. 

This was the trend... for a while.

No there aren't all of a sudden way more rainbow warriors, people of colour, or more of any group some would like to label as "other" than there ever were. 

The only thing that changed is the migration from the dark corner of collective closets into the sun.

The only thing that changed is the fact that rights for equality were just beginning to take a small hold.

The only thing that changed is that women are done asking for equality and are beginning to demand it.

There aren't more, just more visible.

Then, those who have held all of the power for far too long began to feel threatened by the changes they began to see. And the "otherizing" began once again.

Once again, rainbow warriors became targets of hate, along with anyone who didn't fit in their white, tiny boxes of "normal."

Once again, women's bodily autonomy was pulled back.

Once again, people of certain colours or religions are experiencing overt and blatant prejudice.

If you find yourself feeling nostalgic for yesteryear, thinking that times were simpler, times were easier, times were better... were they, though?

Well, maybe they were for you, but not for everyone. 

Let go of a past that contains way more darkness than our history books would lead us to believe. Accept the fact that white people, who are the ones who wrote the history books by the way, were much more often the villain, especially during the last few centuries, than they ever were the hero.

Looking ahead, now that we know better, we have every opportunity to do better. 

We owe it to those who come after us to do just that.

Vote for the changes to create a society your great-grandbabies, the great-grandbabies of those you care for, and all future generations can thrive in, and will be able to look back on with pride. 

All we can do, with our short time on this planet, is try to steer society in a direction our descendants will be able to study and see we did our part to do right by every human. 

Let's do everything we can so that when they look back, they don't have to be ashamed of the actions of their ancestors the way we are. 

Let's do this. 

We are not doomed to repeat the shameful mistakes of those who came before us. We simply have to choose not to. 

*****************************************************************

 

38 Days and Counting...

 Hi!

In about 38 days our neighbours to the south will be making a decision that will have a global impact.

Yes, I'm Canadian, and proud to be.

Many of the negative messages I get come at that fact with a certain vitriol that I don't understand. I am very aware that I don't live in your country. That is not an accident. But living outside of your borders doesn't make us immune to your choices.

If our southern neighbours choose to again put this failed, willfully ignorant, old, racist, homophobic, misogynistic, narcissistic, feeble-minded, bloated, orange, adjudicated rapist, convicted felon in the Whitehouse, it will have an impact on us all. 

The poison that he and his bum-dwellers spew spreads, infecting everything it touches as you would expect of any venom. The permission it gives to racists and other backwards thinking mouth-breathers to inflict violence and other cruelties upon any and all that don't fit their shiny, white boxes has been, and continues to be, palpable. 

The Russian cheerleaders that can't seem to grasp the fact that allowing the vengeful, bald bully that steals their "elections" every goddamn time, to get his way, in regards to Ukraine, will have absolutely no reason to stop there. The bloated cheeto will simply step aside and allow it to happen. Why? Because he is a dictator-worshipping wannabe.

Why do you think he said in a speech, during this campaign cycle, on camera, in front of hearing people, that if you just vote for him this one, last time, you won't ever need to vote again?!

His babysitters try to pass it off as a joke, like they always do, each and every time he says something that gives away their project 2025 agenda too bluntly. In other words, when he brings the darkest parts of the map to Gilead into the light. 

Have you ever looked at the faces of the littles, including his own grandkids, when he is touching, holding and kissing them? All without their consent, by the way. And yes, children are allowed to say no to all of that. They look, at the least, uncomfortable as hell, at the most, frickin' terrified. They look how the majority of women collectively felt when he said the other day that he will be our "protector." I think he forgot how to pronounce predator. I know when I heard the words come from his mouth, my body had a visceral, involuntary reaction of hair standing on end, sweating, and a barbed-wire knot forming in my stomach. 

If we, as a world citizenry, allow these right-wing conspiracy-loving, fact-retardant asshats, to bully their way into running the planet, we will very likely cease to have one before our bloodlines run cold. The level of science denial is mind-boggling. 

I know some who just want to not engage. Just not vote. Every person who refrains from voting, knowing full well what is at risk, is guilty of giving those who want to drag us backward, the permission to do just that. 

Some say the reason they don't want to vote is because they don't have enough information. So, get it. Inform yourself so you can make an informed decision. 

In lieu of putting in the effort needed for that... simply pay attention. Unless you are living under a rock, it's pretty easy to determine the direction each political party is headed. Which direction is most cohesive with your values? Do you want your kids and grandkids to have the ability to make any and all decisions about what happens or does not happen to their bodies? Do you want your gay grandchildren to be able to get married and be parents someday, if they so choose? Do you want your child to be able to safely grow up without having to hide who they are? Do you want them to not have to endure the trauma of shooter drills and, god forbid, the reason there ARE shooter drills?

Our southern neighbours, the world is counting on you. And that is not an exaggeration. It is not hyperbole. We are obligated, as citizens of the earth, to protect her and ALL those who walk upon her. We need to collectively stand up to bullies who want to turn the already huge gap between the haves and have-nots into an unbridgeable chasm that creates such an advantage over the labouring class, we will soon find ourselves living in a society that has accepted what will become akin to borderline slavery.

They look to strip us of unions, and safety nets. They want to keep wages down, profits repugnantly high, housing costs beyond what one job can pay for, keeping the workforce exhausted and defeated. All this as they tower over us, watching us fighting to keep our heads above water. They watch from a safe distance, as to not get too close to the sweat, through diamond-encrusted binoculars, sipping Dom, lounging on the upper decks of their mega-yachts... laughing, knowing they could have been stopped, if we had only chosen to do so. 

Vote. 

*************************************************************************

Unforced Tragedy... There's No Reason

 

Hi,

Why?

Why is a six-year-old little boy having to deal with the unnecessary, unforced tragedy of losing his Mommy at the hands of the backward-thinking, barbaric, asshats that deem themselves experts, and therefore make decisions based on their fictional intelligence. 

Amber Nicole Thurman. 28 years old. 

A D&C. That's all it would have taken to save that young mother's life. A D&C. That's all it would have taken. A procedure that has been around for more than half a century. A procedure that has saved countless lives of uterus-bearing humans worldwide for decades. It needs to take place for different reasons, but, as we have watched this horror unfold at the hands of morons, it becomes abundantly clear that it needs to take place when MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS deem it necessary. Whenever, and under whatever circumstances they and their patients agree upon. 

The ONLY people who should have a say. Period. 

So, for all of the pro-life people... that pro part, it doesn't extend to the Mother? 

Most of us have lost people along the way we cared for deeply. Tragedy happens. We don't need to force it. We should be using every tool in our collective toolboxes to prevent every tragedy we can. It absolutely makes NO sense to have the ability, the science, the know-how, to stop this kind of heartbreak, and simply refuse to do so. 

What if...

What if a group of people decided that appendectomies were morally wrong. Then they pass legislation making it illegal for ANYONE to get one. 

What if another group decides that pacemakers are evil?

What if another group objects to chemotherapy on moral grounds?

What if the groups who feel that blood transfusions are morally wrong pass legislation to outlaw them for everyone?

Should any one group of people make blanket medical decisions for everyone because they don't agree with it? 

You don't want a D&C, don't have one. You don't want to pursue IVF treatments... don't. You don't want birth control, don't use it. You don't want an abortion? Don't have one. You don't want gender reassignment surgery? Don't get it. 

Nobody is trying to force you do any of these things!!!! Calm your ass down! We are not qualified to make those decisions for you! Right?! That would be ridiculous!

You have absolutely no business making any decisions about anyone else's health and/or body. Period. 

These same idiots push lies about immigrants, causing bomb threats and school closures. Forcing people to live in fear over a pile of BS. 

Terrorizing innocent people should never be a card in a political hand, let alone played, and with such gusto, no less. Then defending and doubling down on the lies to fan the flames. Having the hillbilly militia roam the streets with automatic weapons. Just how are sane, rational people supposed to feel about this?!

This same group of sub-zero intelligence continues to REFUSE to introduce any kind of common sense gun laws. Even on the heels of two completely off-the-charts unstable members of this same group, who obtained the guns legally mind you, trying to take shots at their candidate! Thoughts and prayers?

Question...

Why does your supposed devotion to protecting kids stop the second they are born?

You don't want to make sure they eat or have health care, or support their parents through trying to bring down housing and childcare costs. You don't want minimum wage to equal a living wage, but you also don't want social safety nets in place to fill in the gaps. You don't want to make sure kids can go to a doctor, get medicine, get help with mental health if they need it, go to a dentist, read classic literature, learn how to be critical thinkers, have music as part of their education... or eliminate the need for active shooter drills. 

So, now, this little six-year-old boy has to grow up without his Mommy. Her family has to go on without her. 

A completely unforced tragedy... there's no reason... and this is just the beginning... if they get their way. 

****************************************************************************

Uber Eats... Pets Edition?!?!?! WTF!

 

Hi!

I’m not sure what is crazier, the fact that the Orange Cheeto was screaming about a completely fictional, demented, and dangerous Uber eats "pets edition" during a PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE, no less, or that his boot lickers and diminished capacity critical thinkers absorb it like a desert soaks in rain. 

Then, sure shit, bomb threats, and evacuations soon follow. 

It’s as though his idiot minions feel they are following the orders of their cult leader like it’s Jan 6!

Yes, there have already been a ton of memes making fun of his lunacy, and it is funny... or at least it would be, if it wasn't also so massively dangerous.

In 2020 they fed fiction of caravans full of people breaking into lake cottages and squatting, or some such nonsense. Funny how, once that election was over, this terrifying crisis seemed to vanish into thin air. Because... it didn't exist.

It caused a lot of people to panic, and a lot of people to get hurt... for no reason other than to stoke fear over a non-existent terror.

They use the word immigrant, but they never seem to mean the ones that come from, Europe, the Netherlands... you know, the ones that come from predominantly white countries.

It's ALWAYS immigrants of colour they choose to demonize. 

This time it's supposedly people taking over hotels and eating pets. It seems the more ridiculous, the more extreme the bullshit, the more eager the simple-minded conspiracy enthusiasts are to believe it.

It's like the litter boxes in the classroom nonsense. The pizza-gate bull crap of 2016. 

Now they are trying to make people believe that abortions are happening into the 37th or 38th week of pregnancy, or even more ridiculously, AFTER the baby is born! 

They are trying to make people believe that gender reassignment surgeries are happening at MIDDLE SCHOOLS! During school!  Oh... and doing so without even consulting parents! 

They want you to believe that women aren't smart enough to make decisions about their own lives and bodies. 

They want you to believe that those who are different from you are out to get you, coming to take what's rightfully, only yours. 

They want you to believe that unions are bad. Why? because the guy at the top of the ladder might have to settle for a smaller yacht if the ones who make him rich get a living wage and are treated with dignity and respect in the workplace. That somehow, it's bad if the employees are provided the means to thrive instead of just survive. 

It's much better for them and their board of directors to keep employees desperate, unsure, anxious, overworked, and exhausted. It's better for them to make sure they have you over the proverbial barrel at all times. 

One step in accomplishing that goal is, little by little diminishing the public education system. They plant seeds of mistrust between parents and teachers with outlandish lies about what's being taught and how.

They water those seeds with misinformation about books. They ban said books, marginalizing further, the development of young critical thinkers. 

They create a secondary education system that serves the rich. Making sure the less privileged, if they find a way to attend a college or university, are saddled with unsurmountable student debt for the rest of their lives, and then expect them to pay these loans back while working three jobs, making shit wages. 

They strip reproductive rights, forcing childbirth on people who are not ready, who are victims of rape and incest, not allowing care for those who are suffering miscarriages... none of whom can get help because doctors fear legal repercussions. 

It seems the more outlandish the lie, the more racist, the more homophobic, the more misogynistic, the more ridiculous, the more eager the idiots are to believe them. 

I wish that this... that these lunatics were solely contained within the borders of my neighbours to the south, but their enabling of idiocy has spread like poison in the groundwater, infecting swaths of citizens around the world. 

This kind of thinking not only threatens democracy in the United States, but globally.

This insanity being pushed by Russian propaganda bots, that somehow THEY are the victim and Ukraine is the bad guy?!?!?!?!?!

WTF!?!

We all understand that if Ukraine loses this invasion from Russia, Putin will absolutely not stop at Ukraine, right? We all get that. Right? Why would he?

He's a greedy bully who feels entitled to take whatever he wants without consent, and how dare they or anyone, for that matter, resist!? He gets away with it because he has seized power in his own country. He's a dictator, aaaaand he's a hero to the Grand Cheeto. 

Now that international investigations are happening, and charges are starting to be laid, and consequences of participating in the Russian propagandist machine will begin to take place, it will be very interesting to see where all of the chips fall... and on whom they land the hardest. 

So to recap...

NOBODY is eating your pets.

NOBODY is aborting babies after they are born.

NOBODY is performing gender-reassignment surgery in middle schools

NOBODY is brainwashing your kid with "To Kill A Mockingbird"

NOBODY is overtaking hotels

NOBODY is trying to take away ANY of your rights by providing equal ones to others. 

NOBODY is lazy for not wanting to have to work more than forty hours a week to live. 

Just Think. 

A Time Of Change...

Hi!

All kinds of changes are happening. 

The kids are back in school, the pre-election circus happening on the south side of the 49th is getting, shall we say, interesting, and my hubby and I are selling the property we run our shop from and closing the doors.

It wasn't what we had planned. At all. I mean, we did plan to close and sell, but not for at least another 7 years. But, that isn't the hand we've been dealt. My hubby's chronic back issues are worsening, and if we don't stop now, the chances of him being able to walk upright into retirement, or to continue to walk at all, will become slim to none real quick. 

So, this will be yet another time in our lives when our resilience, resourcefulness, and positivity will be put to the test. Luckily, we've had a ton of practice. 

And I do mean luckily.

If you sail through life without a single serious hurdle thrown in your path, and then get hit by a life-changing hardship, chances are it could crush you. The first one hits the hardest, leaving you unsure if you can survive. After you get hit with the umpteenth sideswipe, you learn to pretty much take it in stride. We had our first few hits before we ever got married. 

You take the hit, you feel the hit, but then you find a way to get up. 

No, this is not what we had planned.

We are left with two choices.

We could ride the "why me" wallow express, stopping by every pity party on the way to the misery festival, or, we can make the best of the situation in which we find ourselves.

You never have to look far to find someone, anyone, who is dealing with more difficult circumstances than you at any given time. If they can walk through what they are going through, you got this, whatever this is, for crying out loud. 

By nature, I'm a perpetual optimist. Sometimes, it takes a day or two to process, but then, the opportunities and possibilities of all that could fill the next chapter start taking over. 

What I have found through the string of shitstorms we have survived, is just that. We survive. And... sometimes things work out even better than if your original plan had worked out the way you wanted it to.

Life is a journey of well-laid plans interrupted by an endless series of hurdles and happy accidents. 

Our plans influence the path, but let's face it, like on any long road trip, it's the choices we make when we encounter constructions zones, detours, bad weather, and car troubles that end up determining how we actually get to the destination.

I titled these ramblings, A Time Of Change... I'm thinking all times, every time, each time, is a time of change... if we just let it. 

********************************************************************

 

 

And That's A Wrap!

 Hi,

And just like that, the bike rides, movie nights, slip n' sliding, making new friends, playing at the park, with countless rounds of snacks and band-aids are over for another summer!

It's never lost on me how privileged I am to spend the summer with my three youngest grandbabies. So many don't get this kind of time. Time that allows conversations to go from chatting about favourite shows, books, and how school is going, to places that explore big concepts of how to be a good friend, how the world works, the things they feel could be better, how history has affected how we live, how the way we live now will affect the future, and how we fit into all of it.

Don't get me wrong, there are also plenty of conversations about music, what makes a movie good, the pros and cons of different cheeses, and trying to get me caught up in "Airbender" something or other. 

The summer is seasoned with laughter, games, and lazy mornings. They are old enough to understand when Grandma has to work, which I am lucky enough to be able to do from home, young enough to still like going for walks with me, and, well, just awesome.

If we are very lucky, we get to experience about 85 summers. We don't remember the first few, then way too many are taken for granted... living just on the short side of sixty, I'm not taking them for granted any more. 

I look forward to the Fall, but will miss the munchkins as they go back to their busy home life. 

As the leaves begin to transition from green to gold, as we start to see the big yellow buses lumber down the highways, as pumpkin spice invades the ethos, we say farewell to a summer well spent.

Savour the seasons. there are fewer than you think. 

Spend the time. Best investment you'll ever make. 

*********************************************************************  

Embrace Without Judgement...

 

Hi!

Fancy centerpieces  adorning the dining room table, a pristine yard, spotless lightswitches, door handles, fingerprint-free-fridges, absolutely no games of "how does a hand towel get this wet this fast," a complete absence of persistent mystery puddles in the bathroom, and absolutely no endless choruses of "I'm hungry."

This has never been something I've strived for. Good thing, because that's not my life.

My life is embracing the sticky, wiping the puddles, and keeping the laundry monster in check as I work our business from home.

A wet rag, an imaginative homemade snack arsenal, and some patience is all it takes. It always boils down to this, for me. What is our house for? What is our yard for? How do we want it to feel?

When the grandkids, kids, or anyone, for that matter comes to our house, what is more important? That it looks like a magazine cover, or that it feels like the hug you've been needing for a while?

How your home makes people feel, I think, is a definite reflection of how you make people feel, in general. I have one friend, in particular, whose home is spotless, modern, and absolutely fabulous, it should feel like you can't touch anything, and standoff-ish, but it makes me feel welcome, calm and completely at peace. I've been in homes that are decorated with every cozy option, yet feel cold.

It's easy to get caught up in decorating our homes according to whatever is trending, whatever the 'in' things are. Finding the stuff, then buying the stuff, doing everything we can so our homes don't get labeled the dreaded..."outdated." 

Your home should be precisely as you like it. If that includes cleaning clean things, so be it. If it means putting off cleaning until you absolutely need to, so be it. If it's somewhere in between, that's great too. Just do yourself this favour.

Create the home that suits you and yours best. Not the one Instagram says you should, not the one you torture yourself over because of "what people might think."

Obsess over your yard, if that's what blows your skirt up, have a yard full of wildflowers, if that's what you prefer, hell, just have dirt, or cement, or all trees... that's the beauty of it. 

Whatever you do, however you like to live, that's what's right for YOU!

We don't have to like or understand why people like what they like to embrace it without judgement. When we walk into someone's space, see a representation of how they see themselves, who the hell are we to tell them that there is something wrong with it?

They love what they love, and have every right to dress it up as they see fit. They don't owe anyone an explanation, they get to live in whatever way makes them happiest. It's not causing any harm, other than the odd lifted eyebrow that has no right lifting.

In case you missed it, this is about more than houses. 

Whenever I hear or see choruses of "If you can't explain the way you live, or who you are as a person to me in a way that fits into my narrow way of perceiving the world, then you are just wrong, and don't deserve my respect or consideration." Don't kid yourself, those attitudes and beliefs are alive and well... It just makes me sad.

"Tolerance" is just a way to justify rejection.

No one wants to be "tolerated". Embrace, include, accept. 

What if who you are was the 10%?

How would you want to be treated? 

Tolerated, or embraced? 

Would you like to have heinous acts attributed to you with no founding in fact? Would you like to be told that you should never be married or be a parent just because you love someone from a different gender? Would you like to be questioned regularly about if you are sure you are straight? When you "decided" to be straight, or cis-gendered?

Embrace without judgement. 

**************************************************************************

A Life Well Lived...

Hi!

I've said before, and I'll say it again, coming from a family as big as mine carries with it a ton of great things, but also some heartbreak.

When you have so many people to love and call family, there are always so many things to celebrate, new babies, weddings, reunions, career accomplishments, birthdays... you get the idea. When you have so many people to love and call family, the heartbreak of losing someone happens far too often. It seems you barely get your feet solidly on the ground, the steps feeling just a bit less heavy, when you find out another loved one has passed.

One such heartbreak happened again this week.

The top photo depicts our Aunt Betty. She had the privilege of turning 85, and the last time I saw her, a few years ago, the grin that always promised just a bit of mischief, was definitely and completely intact. I didn't get to know her as well as I would have liked, as she was one of a kind. 

From my experience of her, this is what I do know.

 She and my Uncle built an incredible life and home, full of adventure, great times, hard times, and absolutely everything in between. She was a wife who worked outside the home before it was the norm to do so. She mothered a gaggle of boys that loved to dip their toes in trouble every now and again with the assistance of a pretty capable right hand, the sole daughter at the head of the group. 

She was so small in stature, but so strong. A tiny badass, with a heart as big as the sky. So much can be learned from her, and those like her, if we allow it to happen. We just have to be ready to let it in. No one reaches 85 without scars, some they speak of, most they don't. 

Times like these bring with them opportunities to mend fences, heal scars, embrace and support each other as family should. It brings chances to celebrate a life well lived, the legacy left behind, and what that can look like. The gift of swapping stories, sharing memories, reconnecting our roots. 

It's an opportunity not to be wasted. 

We are never guaranteed time to reconnect, to laugh, to cry, to mend, to heal. 

Young hearts can only follow the examples they are given, they watch, they observe, they absorb. They learn how to grieve through us, they learn how to handle loss, they learn how to say good-bye to those we love. After the dust settles, they are still there, watching and learning. 

Grief, stepping through it, living in it, and beyond, looks different for everyone. There are no rules, no deadlines, as no two people feel it the same way. In grief, the soul is so heavy and so full, leaving no room for judgment. 

Grief is a privilege only those who know real love are able to experience. The heartache, proof that they mattered. The tears, a gift given exclusively to the lucky who have been blessed to love someone enough to warrant them. 

When we get to the place where their memory brings smiles more than tears, we begin to heal. The grief, though never gone, feels more like a warm embrace, no longer the dagger it once was.

*******************************************************************

May you be embraced by those who went before you, arms outstretched to catch you, hold you.

You will be missed more than can be explained. Rest well, Aunt Betty.

 

Pivot!!!!!!!!!

 Hi!

You know, if life didn't slap us upside the head every 10 or15 years, we'd probably get lackadaisical, a little too comfortable, a bit complacent.

Anything this side of life and death is doable. 

At the light end, this shows itself at the Olympics. These young people commit so much time, effort, suffering injuries, enduring the stress, sacrificing social lives, and, sometimes after all of that, they get to the event, the heat, the set, the jump etc, just to trip, fall, pull a muscle or have something else happen that turns their dream into a nightmare. But they live to fight another day, if not in the same capacity, as a coach, commentator, or in some other way.

In life stuff, there are surprise babies, surprise losses of careers, health situations that are just serious enough to force hard decisions, storms, both natural and of the shit variety. All kinds of things that cause a shift in trajectory.

The ability to pivot, to find resilience, to keep putting one foot in front of the other is simply a skill necessary for survival. Does that mean it's easy? Ever? Nope! Sometimes you need to ask for help, even if that's something you struggle with. It's important to never underestimate those who care about you and their willingness to extend a hand. It's okay to lean into and on those who are willing and able. It's okay to not have all the answers, all the solutions, nobody does. 

When pivots hit, we don't get to see what's around any corner. We can give it our best guess, prepare for best and worst case scenarios the best we can, and then, there is nothing left to do but jump. 

We try to take the least treacherous route, prepare for stumbles, slippery surfaces, and curve balls. 

We determine what the worst of worst-case scenarios could possibly be, if that's survivable, there's no reason not to do it, whatever it is. 

Some pivots are minor, requiring merely a slight shift, others hit like earthquakes. 

Spoiler alert. We don't usually get any warning about where or how it will hit, or how hard.

Now, knowing all this, we have some choices to make. We can live in fear of the unknown, which is even scarier when you learn just how little we actually know. This guarantees a life of anxiety, sleepless nights, some stomach aches, and, if smart, a lot of therapy. Or... we can acknowledge that the pivots are inevitable, develop the skills of resilience both within ourselves and in those we have a hand in raising, and go on to live life as big and wide and open as possible, confident we can handle whatever comes, embracing the adventure. 

No two lives are meant to be lived the same way. Even within a marriage or long-term relationship, the way you live within that will be different, even if only slightly, it will still be different. 

That's why you have to do you, you have to be you. Your authentic you. Always. 

Your path has always been, and will always be meant to be uniquely yours. 

Live it like you mean it. 

 

Before The Sun Sets...

 

Hi!

When we were children, each day felt new, we jumped from our slumber eager to see what the grown-ups in our lives had planned for us. When we enter the educational system, at least where I live, routine becomes just that. Everything is planned for you, the time you get up, the food you eat, when you eat it...if we are very lucky, no decisions of any real consequence are needed from us just yet.

Our preschool freedoms become stripped-down, condensed, and squeezed to fit into school breaks, now accompanied by a sprinkling of chores and responsibility. The high school days we longed for/dreaded seemingly drag, but when complete, we get to look back and recognize them for the blink they were. 

Then we become adults. Some continue in their academics, others jump right into the 9-5, yet others... explore.

We become busy, now making those crucial decisions almost every single day, we get married... or not... we become parents... or not... no matter how we spend our adulthood every lane has at least this one thing in common...

Before the sun sets this... this... and this... need to get done. Garbage needs taking out, meals need to happen, bills need paying, toilets need scrubbing, laundry is a neverending relentless beast, relationships need nurturing... We continually try to make it seem like we know what we are doing... after all we have the photos all over social media proving just that... don't we?... don't we??? We do so, fooling most everyone... but ourselves.

A sense of overwhelm becomes the normal we learn to live with. It truly is amazing what you can get used to.

Before the sun sets, we do our best, but inevitably, there is always at least one thing... that thing that didn't get done, and that will be what we beat ourselves up about while we struggle to get to sleep at night. Not all the things we DID do, but the thing or things that didn't make it.

Time passes, and life progresses, whether or not we accomplish all of the things. And, as life would have it, barely anything turns out the way we thought it would, we end up going down paths we didn't know existed, curve balls are thrown... hard... good things, bad things, seemingly impossible things happen, creating detours, sometimes permanently altering our trajectory.

Not that that is necessarily a bad thing. Most times, I believe, it's the curve balls and detours that lead us to exactly where we are supposed to be. 

As time passes, perspective shifts, and what we want to accomplish before the sun sets becomes a bit less about what we want to do, and more about how we want to feel.  

The overwhelm gets old, the chasing of the tail gets stale, the juggling becomes pretty exhausting, and we start fantasizing about a feeling of real and actual peace. 

We get spoonfed from childhood that ambition, drive, and the accumulation of stuff is what we have to strive for, if we don't, we are lazy, unmotivated. Do I believe each of us needs to support ourselves financially to the best of our ability? Absolutely, and for the most part, most people like the sense of accomplishment that comes from doing just that. But not everyone is built, wired, or has the natural talent to accumulate. Some are wired more for giving than getting, and some can do both successfully. Some walk through the world covered in butterflies and rainbows and simply don't see the point of stock-piling stuff. Some like the security that comes with big bank accounts, and some live by the seats of their pants, content with having their basic needs met. Some love the adrenaline rush of chasing the brass ring, while others like to float along covering their needs as they go. Yet others have the want to, the work ethic, all the things, but are unable to physically make it happen despite their herculean efforts.

Before the sun sets... we want serenity. I think that's fairly universal. I just think that serenity is defined differently depending on how you are wired. 

As humans, time is our only commodity. We exchange it for what matters most to us. What that is, will, and should be different for everyone. No matter how hard I try, I can't possibly know for sure what brings someone else peace. I can guess, I can surmise, I can assume, but that's it. 

Before the sun sets... find a piece of peace for yourself... even if it's small... for now.

This will read very differently depending on the Country and Culture in which you spend your time. Unfortunately, I can only give the perspective from the life I live, and where I live it. Cultures are unique by nature and therefore, define success differently. As technology has thrived, spreading pretty much worldwide, I hope we can share our good habits instead of our bad. 

I would love to tap into social media and see more good deed hacks than greed hacks. Less effort put into the buying and selling of stuff, more put into helping those who have it rough. Fewer photos through perceived perfection filters, more emphasis put the beauty of what's real, less on fillers. 

Before the sun sets we need to find, accept, then learn to love unconditionally, our entire, authentic selves. then allow ourselves to flourish, joyfully, and completely, in the absolute comfort that can come from being swaddled within our own skin. If we give ourselves permission to do so. 

Before the sun sets... breathe.