Stay...

 

Hi!

This is to those going through it right now. 

It can be a tough time of year. Most likely not just because of the season, but because of circumstance, relationships, or lack thereof, situational depression, clinical depression, and countless other things that can pick away, pull from, and otherwise try to destroy any kind of joy that dares to enter the lives of those who have the audacity to be human.

I will do my best to stay away from platitudes. They have their place, but I don't feel that it's here, in this space. At least not now.

It's the end of another year, and for those who find it a herculean task to hang on to any kind of light, it can feel like yet another year of failures, of would haves, could haves, should haves, and finding ways to make absolutely everything that didn't go perfectly, their fault. 

It's a time of year for reflection, but, for some, that isn't a pleasant journey. When all you see are the pitfalls, when all your brain will allow is a mental contortion that only lets you see ways that you let people down, when every single one of the traumas that has touched you screams in your face when you look back, it holds nothing but torment.

When everything in you relentlessly pulls you toward a darkness that wants to convince you that you are nothing but a burden, that those who love you would be better off without you...

When the promise of nothingness becomes seductive... when the pull of the darkness becomes almost too much to resist...

Please remember....

The loss of you is NOT something people will recover from. 

I'll start with that. Yes, it's a bit of a guilt trip, but, I don't care. You matter too much to care about guilt trips. I will use everything I have to to get another day, and I won't apologize for it.

The darkness that seduces you is not your friend. It's a thief. A thief of your happiness, a thief of your joy, a thief of the very thing that makes you... you. You are NOT that darkness, you are so much more than it wants to tell you you are. 

You are not defined by your trauma and those who caused it. Yes, they may have convinced you that what they did to you was your fault. They've twisted truth to justify their cruelty, their abuse, their teardown of who you are. Our monsters don't get to dictate what we deserve.

You are not their definition of you. That doesn't even come close to describing the magic of who you are. 

Scars come from many places, and some run deeper than others, and no one goes through life without them. Each are individual and carry different types and levels of pain. 

But... the scars all are real.

But, they are far from all of who you are.

Stay. 

Let us help you release the pain that pulls you down. You are worth every conversation, every middle of the night text, every hug, every teardrop, every... everything.

We need you, the world needs you, even if you can't see it right now.

Don't give up on us. 

Stay.

Give tomorrow a chance to be better. Give yourself a chance to let go of the dark and find your shine. No matter how dark the world, the light comes. 

You have no idea what the universe may have in store for you. If you leave now, we will miss you in every and all moments to come. You are the only you the earth will ever see. Please don't deprive us of your magic. Even if you can't see, can't feel it right now... we do. 

We feel all of your incredible sensitivity, all of your compassion, all of your empathy, all of your humour, all of your effort to make others smile.

We feel your magic, the world needs it. Please don't take it, take you, away.

Stay.

In this moment, if you can't do it for you.... do it for us. There will come a day you stay for you. If not today.... soon. 

Stay. 

You deserve every happiness that you see in the lives of others. Even if, right now, it seems like a fantasy, please know it can happen for you, it will happen for you. On the other side of despair, on the other side of hell, on the other side, there is joy, there is love, there is excitement, there is life at its messy best.

Stay. Just...stay.

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