The Shaky House Of Cards...

 

Hi!

You know, there are people all over the world who are, right now, in real-time, suffering atrocities that they did absolutely nothing to bring upon themselves.

There are victims of war, famine, displacement, poverty, abuse, hate speech, racism, discrimination for being part of the queer community, and all kinds of violence. All of these people have zero culpability in the how and why these horrible things are happening to them. 

They are simply existing in the world.

Then, there are those who love to claim victimhood when they are the ones who singlehandedly orchestrated their own demise. And, the demise they have created for themselves really only consists of going broke and going to prison. Not starvation, not torture, no beatings, no rape, no fear of death, no punishment for merely existing, no forced pregnancies, none of the really egregious things that happen to millions of other people all the time. 

No, the only thing that is going to happen is lawful accountability.

Now, one of the self-proclaimed richest guys in the United States is selling shoes and begging people who live below the poverty line to bail him out of the mess he completely created on his own. If he had simply stayed living in the realm of the almost famous, he likely would have gotten away with all of his underhanded, smarmy, creepy crap like he had been for decades. But, he insisted on thrusting himself into the limelight, inviting scrutiny. Then, in his inept attempts to cover his clumsy criming, and inability to admit defeat, he committed more crimes, worse crimes, crimes that before now, no one thought a guy in the position he was given the honour to hold could possibly be capable of. 

There were those of us who knew. Who felt it every time we saw him on screen. Never having been in the same country, let alone the same room, knew. The hairs on the back of the neck would stand at attention, spidey senses pinging like the radar in the traffic control tower of the world's busiest airport. 

Karma can feel slow and lazy at times, but she never fails to come around and flex her inevitable strength. Eventually, the universe balances herself out, and those who perpetuate, participate, and continue to put toxic things into the world get the outcome they need. 

What is that old saying? If you don't want to do the time, don't do the crime. Or, don't do all of the multiple crimes, in certain instances. 

If he is such a terrific businessman,  such an incredible genius, why has he gone bankrupt multiple times? Why would he not know that doing all of these stupidly horrible things would catch up with him? If he's so rich, why is he out begging for money? If he's so brilliant, why doesn't he flex enough intelligence to know when to keep his mouth shut, and not cost himself even more money. 

Even a baby knows if you touch a hot stove it hurts and they don't do it again. They have the ability to learn, to adapt their behavior in such a way as to not hurt themselves further. A baby knows better. 

As the rest of this shaky house of cards falls, and the last of the emperor's clothes hit the prison floor, my greatest wish is that this will finally be the epiphany that the last of his followers need to finally see the truth about him. 

I'm sure there will still be the delusional few who will cling to the belief that he was somehow horribly mistreated, but I think they might still be hanging out on the grassy knoll waiting for JFK and Elvis to show up for the flat-earther picnic.

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The Shortest Month...

 Hi!

I know that February has the fewest days of all of them. Logically, we all know this. Why, then, does it tend to feel like the longest? 

I have a theory...

February feels longer than it has a right to for, I think, a few different reasons.

For one, January, let's face it, is the Holiday hangover month. We are recovering, getting our bearings after weird work schedules, more socializing than we have become accustomed to through the last few years, and just a stitch more partying than we experience in our usual, day-to-day lives. For two, let's face it, where I call home, January is generally the month where both the likelihood of it being so cold it hurts to breathe, and enduring the experience of having every single fluid that CAN escape from ALL the orifices of your face freezing to, and in whatever they touch, is incredibly high. The January we most recently got rid of took that to heart with a vengeance. We reached temperatures that were colder than Mars. Ridiculous. For three, January is stupid dark... a lot. So let's recap, we are recovering from a holiday hangover, it's cold, it's dark, we are getting our feet under us after admitting to ourselves that half of our New Year's resolutions have already been ditched. It passes. not quickly, but it passes.

March, carries with it a hint, a promise, of Spring. It's covered in mucky snow, the snowmen residing on front lawns start resembling something from The Walking Dead. Kids playing in school playgrounds find that there is no way to know if you should be wearing snow pants, splash pants, winter, or rubber boots. Chances are, whatever you think will work that day.... won't. We start to feel some warmth in the sun that is beginning to stay longer. Yeah, we start trusting the telltale signs that winter is coming to an end. 

Sooooo, February. Yes, it has the fewest days, but the fog of the holidays has cleared, our resolutions are but a distant memory, we have completed the self-berating for that and have moved on. Our nights still eat up more than half the clock. It can still get cold enough to make your eyeballs freeze shut, but it can also melt enough to create the best icicle machetes. I think the reason February feels so long is that, at this point, unless you are a skier, a snowshoer, or a hockey fan, you're just kind of sick of winter being winter. I, for one, am ready for more daylight, no snow, and not having to check the forecast before leaving the house. 

So, if I haven't been clear,  I'm officially tired of winter. 

Looking forward...

Spring breezes caressing the delicate blossoms of wildflowers, their gentle sway creating complex choreography for the bees and hummingbirds.

Long walks in new places wherein the only purpose is to capture nature's impossible beauty within the frame of an unnatural lens. 

Open windows, allowing the perfumes of the awakening world to envelope every room.

Riding bike until everything feels uphill.

Creating fresh memories in the fresh air with the fresh faces that look forward to our little adventures. 

That glorious, and all too short span of time that graces us between snowbanks and mosquitoes. 

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Happy Valentine's/Love Day!

                                                                        credit for this photo is unknown
 

Hi!

So, we are but days away from International Love Day! 

Yes, traditionally, Valentine's Day has been a day to celebrate romantic love. But the fact that over the past few years especially, the inclusion of all kinds of love have made it an even better holiday. For when you are talking about love, everyone is deserving, and should absolutely be part of the celebration, period. 

This is the day to say all the gushy things, give the hugs, to make gifts of goofy trinkets that best represent the relationship, and take the opportunity to show love and be kind to ourselves. 

I realize that some take this holiday very seriously and are offended if not given expensive things. Hey, if that is how you like to celebrate, all the power to you. Personally, it's not about what you get, but a time to reflect on all the relationships I hold dear.

Am I holding up my end? Am I being the partner my hubby needs? Am I being the Mom, Daughter, Sister and Friend that meets the moments where they need to be met? Am I dropping the ball anywhere I'm not aware of? 

The saying is "Happily Ever After." It's the ending to countless fairytales, leading the reader to believe that the rest of the characters’ lives are filled with nothing but ranbows and unicorns, where the weather is always perfect and nothing bad ever happens. 

We all know what a load of crap that is, yet we tend to hold our relationships to these unrealistic standards. Like they are plucked from rom com movie scripts, where the plot twists are pretty predictable, and beautiful soliloquies solve every problem. 

The real ending to these tales should read "Happily Never Always." I mean, it might not be as romantic, but it makes a lot more sense. 

No matter the type of relationship you are talking about, it's just not possible for it to be perfectly filled with sweetness and light every single day. 

When you are in a romantic relationship, you need to be ready for when reality kicks in. It requires a vulnerability that could crush you, trust beyond what's reasonable, forgiveness, compromise, and patience. You have to be ready to roll together, giving each other the strength to plow through life's hurdles. You have to be ready to polish each other's shine, growing and evolving as you go. 

Nobody married 30 years in, is the same person they were on their wedding day. At least you shouldn't be. Life, at this point should have taught you some things, changed your perspectives, expanded your world views. There will be times when you will hurt each other, all we can do is our best not to do it on purpose. Fogiveness is hard, and not everything deserves it. Abuse is unforgivable and should never be given a second chance, other than that, where you draw your line is up to you. Forgiveness should never be mistaken for forgetfulness. Once a deep trust is shattered, I'm not sure it can ever be truly and fully restored. 

If you never fight, is it because you actually agree on everything or that you don't trust that your relationship could handle it? If you are in it and don't feel like you can speak with complete honesty, if you don’t feel safe showing all of who you are, take a  beat and ask yourself why that might be. 

No, real romantic love is not like in the movies. It's messy, it's comforting, it's hard, it's inside jokes, it's someone who holds you up when you need it, but allows you to hold them right back. It's playing to each other's strengths without exploiting weaknesses, not even in a fight. It's fighting with a purpose, striving for a solution, and not just for the sake of fighting. Arguing in circles is pointless. It's an adventure filled with, if you are very lucky, a lot more joy than sorrow, much more laughter than tears, and a love that grows bigger and deeper with every passing year.

Happily Never Always... I wouldn't have it any other way. 

If you are celebrating romantic love, whatever that looks like for you, enjoy!

If you are celebrating friendship love, do it up!

If you are celebrating love of Family, soak it in.

So let's celebrate love. Make it gushy. Make it cheesy. Make it joyous. Make it fun. Make it weird.

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May you celebrate any and all love you have the privilege of having in your life.

May you take a beat to appreciate all of it, whether from a child, friend, husband, or wife.

May you receive true and trustworthy love. You are precious. You are lovable. You are worthy of all things good. 

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Who Does That?!........Warriors... That's Who...

 

Hi!

There are a lot of things going on in the world, like there has always been.

We all look at it through unique lenses and perspectives. Where I live, who I am, how, where and when  I grew up, my adult life experiences, and how I am wired, all play a part, all add to the filter through which I walk through life. I think it's safe to say that is something absolutely every human on the planet shares. 

Most of us, I believe, do our best to be decent, kind, caring and compassionate. At the very least, strive to do no harm. Then, there are those who seem to not only go out of their way to inflict pain upon others but revel in doing so. 

They want to call it other things. They want to disguise cruelty as standing up for their beliefs. They choose to throw a poisonous blanket of 'values' over their incessant need to validate their feelings of superiority. They want to destroy joyful things because they perceive them as threats to their power. They don't care if what they are doing hurts others.

Who does that?

Who thinks that it's humane to line the floor of the Rio Grande with saw blades and razor wire to shred the legs and feet of human beings who are merely trying to survive a circumstance that, through no fault of their own, has put them in harm's way. What I don't get, is the people that think this is okay, wouldn't treat a stray dog with the same distain. These are human beings, in desperate need, leaving everything they know, everyone they love, to find a place where they can live safely, and in peace. Yet, they are treated with less kindness than a stray dog. Who does that?

Who makes policies that put children who are already at risk, at MORE risk? People who like to wear the badge of Christianity as some sort of warped status symbol, love to use pieces of religion to justify discrimination. Not all kids are safe at home, for a plethora of reasons. For some of them, school is their only safe space. I'm sorry, conservative, Christian, closeminded, people, you can try to label it as anything you want to, it won't change the fact that what it comes down to, is that you are putting kids who already are at risk in real danger. Let me guess, after they get, at the very least, rejected and kicked out by their parents, are you going to feed, clothe, and support them, so they can grow and thrive, like I'm sure you want all the straight kids to do? Or, and this is more likely, will you blame them for ending up broken, surviving however they can, now, filled with the self-hate that you so adamantly drilled into their psyche? Who does that?

Who is threatened by someone else's happiness and success? I find it fascinating, comical, really, just how threatened by Taylor Swift supposedly grown men are. They seem to think that her simply showing up at a football game, and having fun with her boyfriend's family as they watch, is something to be deathly afraid of. It's just so stupid. The fact that the people who televise the game show that she's there throws them into a tailspin. She receives death threats from these insecure idiots. Why? Because she has created an incredible life for herself and her family? Because she has reached a level of success that most of them can't even imagine all by the age of 34? Does it bother them that she is tall, AND beautiful, AND smart, AND talented, AND kind, AND generous, AND funny, AND is happy? She has completely implanted herself under the skin, is living rent free, and is apparently threatening the masculinity of men everywhere by simply living her life. They are obsessed. Who does that?

Who stands up and faces their monsters on a regular basis, who brings them to their knees by simply telling, and standing by their truth? Who looks their oppressors in the eyes, and says I will not only survive, but thrive, not because of you, but in spite of you? Those who stare down these self-righteous hypocrites, those who take them to court and win $83.3 million dollars, those who proudly let their queer flags fly because they have found that the family that you need doesn't always come through blood, those who wade through treacherous waters cutting their legs and feet on the hate of those who should be embracing them with compassion, in a desperate effort to save those they love. Who does that?

Warriors... that's who. 

There is enough land, enough space, there is enough for all of us. Someone else's success, happiness, existence, or ability to live in peace can not diminish our own.

If you think it does, that delusion lands squarely on your shoulders. Time to start figuring out why you feel that way instead of blaming other people for the insecurities you feel. They aren't MAKING you feel that way. They are just living. The rest is on you. 

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