Hi!
So, we are but days away from International Love Day!
Yes, traditionally, Valentine's Day has been a day to celebrate romantic love. But the fact that over the past few years especially, the inclusion of all kinds of love have made it an even better holiday. For when you are talking about love, everyone is deserving, and should absolutely be part of the celebration, period.
This is the day to say all the gushy things, give the hugs, to make gifts of goofy trinkets that best represent the relationship, and take the opportunity to show love and be kind to ourselves.
I realize that some take this holiday very seriously and are offended if not given expensive things. Hey, if that is how you like to celebrate, all the power to you. Personally, it's not about what you get, but a time to reflect on all the relationships I hold dear.
Am I holding up my end? Am I being the partner my hubby needs? Am I being the Mom, Daughter, Sister and Friend that meets the moments where they need to be met? Am I dropping the ball anywhere I'm not aware of?
The saying is "Happily Ever After." It's the ending to countless fairytales, leading the reader to believe that the rest of the characters’ lives are filled with nothing but ranbows and unicorns, where the weather is always perfect and nothing bad ever happens.
We all know what a load of crap that is, yet we tend to hold our relationships to these unrealistic standards. Like they are plucked from rom com movie scripts, where the plot twists are pretty predictable, and beautiful soliloquies solve every problem.
The real ending to these tales should read "Happily Never Always." I mean, it might not be as romantic, but it makes a lot more sense.
No matter the type of relationship you are talking about, it's just not possible for it to be perfectly filled with sweetness and light every single day.
When you are in a romantic relationship, you need to be ready for when reality kicks in. It requires a vulnerability that could crush you, trust beyond what's reasonable, forgiveness, compromise, and patience. You have to be ready to roll together, giving each other the strength to plow through life's hurdles. You have to be ready to polish each other's shine, growing and evolving as you go.
Nobody married 30 years in, is the same person they were on their wedding day. At least you shouldn't be. Life, at this point should have taught you some things, changed your perspectives, expanded your world views. There will be times when you will hurt each other, all we can do is our best not to do it on purpose. Fogiveness is hard, and not everything deserves it. Abuse is unforgivable and should never be given a second chance, other than that, where you draw your line is up to you. Forgiveness should never be mistaken for forgetfulness. Once a deep trust is shattered, I'm not sure it can ever be truly and fully restored.
If you never fight, is it because you actually agree on everything or that you don't trust that your relationship could handle it? If you are in it and don't feel like you can speak with complete honesty, if you don’t feel safe showing all of who you are, take a beat and ask yourself why that might be.
No, real romantic love is not like in the movies. It's messy, it's comforting, it's hard, it's inside jokes, it's someone who holds you up when you need it, but allows you to hold them right back. It's playing to each other's strengths without exploiting weaknesses, not even in a fight. It's fighting with a purpose, striving for a solution, and not just for the sake of fighting. Arguing in circles is pointless. It's an adventure filled with, if you are very lucky, a lot more joy than sorrow, much more laughter than tears, and a love that grows bigger and deeper with every passing year.
Happily Never Always... I wouldn't have it any other way.
If you are celebrating romantic love, whatever that looks like for you, enjoy!
If you are celebrating friendship love, do it up!
If you are celebrating love of Family, soak it in.
So let's celebrate love. Make it gushy. Make it cheesy. Make it joyous. Make it fun. Make it weird.
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May you celebrate any and all love you have the privilege of having in your life.
May you take a beat to appreciate all of it, whether from a child, friend, husband, or wife.
May you receive true and trustworthy love. You are precious. You are lovable. You are worthy of all things good.
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