So, This Is November...

 

Hi,

Saskatchewan skylines, and the first hints of baking for Christmas. 

The season begins with making new memories and cherishing those that live within us. Some carry on traditions passed down through generations, some choose not to, or have none to carry. 

Everyone approaches this time of year in their own way. As it should be.

For me... right now.... this is where I sit.

I fight against the darkness that the extended nights bring.  Snowmen, wreaths, and baking are my weapons of choice. My army of sarcastic, hilarious, bear-hugging, taste-testing soldiers is never out of reach.

I fight against the grief that still, occasionally, attempts to grip me, triggered by the most unexpected things. A song, a smell, a familiar grin echoed on a face too young to recognize it, or where it came from. 

I fight for time to spend with those who matter most. 

So, if you, like me, need a lift, find it.

If that means putting up decorations when others think it's too early... do it.

If that means baking too much... do it.

If that means watching cheesy, sappy holiday movies that all have the same plot, same characters, and same endings... go for it.

If that means connecting with loved ones a bit more often than usual... do it. 

Whatever it means, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, including you... do it. 

So, if you see or know someone who starts celebrating the holidays early, cheer them on. Keep your eyerolls, and judgments to yourself. You might not need it, or want it, but they do, and that's okay. 

So bring on the tinsel, the cookies, the garland, the music, the decorations. Let the holiday spirit swallow you up. I'm ready for it.

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May we each give room for those to do, or not do, whatever they need to, to get by.

May we spend this time lifting each other up, making each other laugh, not cry.

May you find what you need to bring a smile to your face.

May we all remember that life is not a competition, not a race. 

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In Honour Of...

Hi.

In honour of all those who have sacrificed to afford us freedoms that we all too often take for granted, thank you.

Thank you is a phrase much too small and profoundly weak to represent the measure of gratitude owed. It's not just the ones who wear the uniforms, it's those who love them, those who need them, those who want them home. 

You need not look far to witness the costs of fighting for those freedoms. There are too many places in this world where being free is still a seemingly impossible dream.

Oppression is real. It's everywhere. Consequences of oppression hit hardest those directly held down and held back. It then filters through to systems, laws, and perceptions, skewing the vision of those who live in privilege. 

Oppressing any swath of humanity creates a society that twists itself in knots trying to convince itself that it can be successful in doing so. History has shown us relentlessly that oppression is not a sustainable way to co-exist.

There is no group of humans, race, religion, or culture, that has any legitimate reason to feel superior to another. None. Because of this, trying to perpetuate a narrative that tries to support that in any way is doomed to fail. Thankfully.

So, thank you.

Without those who have, and continue to sacrifice, I wouldn't be able to write this. Democracy wouldn't exist. The hope and fight for equality couldn't happen. 

Freedom is never free, spend it wisely. 

Let's honour our vets. 

Honour them by supporting them, and not just when they are deployed. They need us when they get home. Their families need us. 

Honour them by not using our freedoms to strip the freedoms from others. 

Honour them by living peacefully, and by simply letting others do the same.

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May the pieces of you that shattered, become a new, beautiful mosaic, still recognized and loved, but different than before.

May your mosaic be appreciated, admired, cared for, and respected, especially if the shattering is yet incomplete, for to shatter repeatedly leaves you raw and sore. 

May you, in your masterpiece, never fear a shift, a change, a growth, for by now you know, that shattered and broken are two very different things.

May you remain courageous, find yourself, reach for what you need, scream if you have to, find your voice, and sing. 

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Dear Neighbours To The South...

 

Hi!

Please let me begin with this.

I'm always flabbergasted by any election cycle in the States. 

It's no wonder their campaigns cost soooooo much money, they are endless.

They seem to begin campaigning with ads on tv and social media without end. As we get a fair amount of our television from the U.S, we get the same bombardment that is aimed at their voters. 

The ads are pretty messed up. It seems that there is no lie they aren't willing to tell, no fact that is left intact. It's like watching really bad fan fiction, the real stories being swallowed up by something unrecognizable and simply accepted. Weird.

I get that there is a lot at stake for them with this election. There is a good size faction trying to drag their country backward, and that, in and of itself, is baffling. The whole idea of stripping women of body autonomy, messing with pensions that people have been paying into for decades, wanting to revisit the legitimacy of same sex marriage, trying to deny the very existence of entire swaths of LBGTQ+ people. Pretending that the climate isn't changing.

The fact that there are those out there that think having a drag queen come to your library to read to kids is somehow, I don't know, detrimental to the kids is just so strange. People are willing to get your kids excited about books and reading. They are, by their very presence, letting these little ones know that living outside the box is not only accepted, but celebrated.

How is that bad? I don't get it.

Every child deserves to feel accepted, and some don't get that acceptance at home. They need it from somewhere.

Every adult should have the right to marry another adult. As long as it's consensual, adults can get married if they so choose. Any argument to the contrary is just stupid. Period. 

Every person has the right to dictate what happens to their own body. End of discussion. 

In a democracy, the ability to vote freely without intimidation, and have those votes count, I mean without both of those things, you don't have democracy at all. 

I'm not sure what the goal is for those who wish to turn back time. Turn it back to a time of oppression for so many. Moving forward is tough enough without the drag.

What's the goal? 

To shove people back into closets where they can drown in self-loathing?

To make people who were born in a gender that feels wrong, feel like they are 'wrong' again?

To make women have to ask a man's permission, or any permission, to take care of themselves? To determine their own path?

To, instead of fixing systemic racism, deny its existence, and encourage its expansion? Until what? Segregation becomes a thing... again?

So, dear neighbours to the South... vote.

If you are listening to the words coming out of some candidates' mouths, if you want to continue to make choices for yourselves, and your families, if you want your country to remain a democracy...vote.

Take care.

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May you, a week from now, be someone we can recognize.

May this fall into the dark be interrupted, thwarted by the wise.

Happy Halloween!

 Hi! 

Well, we are getting ready to do our first karaoke show since pre-pandemic times! 

I'm glad Halloween is the first one back. I love the costumes, and the whole vibe of a Halloween gig. Everyone is a little more willing to let their hair down and relax into the fun. Something about dressing as something, or someone else gives that freedom. 

With all that is messed up in the world, it's nice, and it's important to take a few hours every now and again, and blow off steam.

If it's getting dressed up as who knows what and singing your heart out, if it's going dancing until you can't possibly dance any more, if it's heading out to a comedy show, play, or movie, just letting yourself sink into some fun for no other reason that you want to, just let it happen. Make it happen. 

I refuse to believe we were put on this planet to slog from one hardship to another. We can't have been put on this planet to not enjoy it. We are not meant to simply 'get through things. 

There is nothing wrong with cutting loose, getting goofy, and just having fun for fun's sake. Shenanigans are a necessary part of a happy life. We were never meant to outgrow them, only to get better at them. Our shenanigans may not look the same all the time, different circumstances require different shenanigans. 

So, let go of your troubles, your stress, and any difficult things you happen to be dealing with, and dance/sing/laugh it out for a while. You're allowed.

Shenanigans are out there for the taking, for the making, for hell of it. Go for it. 

Well, my friends, I need to go rehearse for our show, and get my house ready to mildly traumatize the neighbourhood kids on Monday. 

What?! You have your shenanigans, I have mine! 

Greased Baby Elephants... Not Easy

 Hi!

So, my friends, I have a lot of plates in the air right now. As, I'm sure, a lot of you do. Being pulled in multiple directions, trying to balance things.

It feels, a lot of times, like balancing on a tightrope in heels, blindfolded, while carrying a greased baby elephant right below a massively explosive fireworks display, getting pelted by its shrapnel.

You get the picture. 

Because of this, I'm afraid, this week's ramblings will be short and sweet-ish.

Everybody deals with chaos in their own way. Some choose not to deal, and that can bite you in the butt in the long run. Personally, I tend to deal with stress by tapping into the creative part of myself. Baking, singing, writing, not necessarily in that order. With the addition of each ingredient, the hitting of each note, with every word put to the page, just a little of the mayhem begins to dissipate.

Find a way to set your elephant down. At least for a while. 

Well, I gotta run. 

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When you run, make sure it's in a direction heading toward what you actually want.

Make sure what you are working so hard to balance is worth the effort. 

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Talk to you soon!

A Work In Progress...

 

Hi!

Old stone against modern steel and glass. Innovative, creative art, and simple beauty both from nature and human talent. All of these in a walk encompassing one single city block.

Sometimes, really cool things that can bring smiles to a face that doesn't necessarily feel like smiling are only a few short steps beyond the day-to-day. 

Sometimes, in the midst of chaos, it's important to take a minute, walk a bit, and look around. If we don't take a moment every now and again to breathe, to let things go, stuff can pile up, weigh us down, and eventually become so heavy, we become unable to carry the burden. If we ignore the burden too long it can crush us. 

Our bodies tell us when it's time to let stuff go. All we have to do is listen. 

Stress shows itself in a ton of different ways. Headaches, stomach issues, sleeplessness, irritability, anxiety, the list is long, ugly, and different for almost everyone. 

What I am learning, or, I guess, trying to unlearn, is that our capacity to "suck it up," whatever it is, is not always a good thing. There are limits, and reaching those limits is NOT a sign of weakness, it's a sign of humanity. 

Weight.

Soooo, learning to breathe. Learning to actually look after ourselves, and not just do it on the surface, is harder than it seems. We think we are handling everything fine, we keep doing, we keep adding on to the load, because that is what we have always done.

More weight.

No matter what comes down the pike, we pick it up, look at it, receive it, and move on. Adding it to the ever-growing pile of stuff we carry. Even if we manage to solve whatever problem or issue that's in front of us, we then carry the consequence that stems from that, and then hold onto it because now we consider it ours, so everything that happens pertaining to it in the future, also becomes our responsibility. 

More weight.

As we keep going, forging a path through life, making decisions, good and bad, having things thrown at us that are completely outside of our control, using the tools that have both been given to, and created by us, we discover that some of our tools are faulty... even if they worked in the past, they don't work for us anymore. 

Some of those tools were handed down with the best of intentions, some created as a result of trauma, and some, most of them harbouring hidden malfunctions that weren't apparent from the beginning. Not all the tools are bad. They got us this far, after all, but some have been used far beyond their expiration date, and need to be retired. 

This is going to be different for everyone. If your toolbox is filled with things that still work for you in a healthy way, that's awesome. Just be sure to take them out and inspect them now and again to see if they are still providing the results they were meant to. 

Sometimes, some of the tools, simply become part of the load.

Even more weight.

So. Letting go. Breathing. Really taking care. These are the new tools I'm doing my best to learn to use, to keep. 

Lose the weight.

I think the hardest part of letting go, for me, is simply this. If I stop carrying all that needs carrying, if I put any of it down, who will have to pick it up?

A work in progress, to be sure. 

But, then again, aren't we all?

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May we all find a way to rid ourselves of the tools that no longer work for us, or maybe never really did.

Happy Gratitude Awareness Day!

 Hi!

Here in Canada, it's Thanksgiving weekend. 

It's a holiday that carries a heavy history, just like the holiday of the same name celebrated by our neighbours to the South. They celebrate a bit later, but it's the same idea. 

I don't really believe that the original idea of "Thanksgiving" is something that should be celebrated. To think we should celebrate this coming together for a bountiful and generous meal.  As if the Indigenous people of Canada had options. We weren't invited to their land. They were invaded and taken advantage of. They were victims of several attempts at genocide both physical and cultural. 

Yeah, so to celebrate the traditional thanksgiving doesn't sit within an open conscience very well.

I still think, on the other hand, that setting aside a day or weekend for gratitude awareness is awesome. So let's do that, shall we? Set this time aside to be grateful.

I, for one, am thankful for the steps taken toward healing and reconciliation, even if there are miles to go. No journey, difficult or otherwise, can have even the smallest of starts without at least a few steps. Hopefully, as we find our stride, much more ground will be covered with much larger and ever more meaningful steps. 

I'm thankful to live where I live. There are so many places around the world living through torturous turmoil. Never knowing from one day to the next if tomorrow will come for them or their loved ones. 

I'm thankful for my four safe walls, a sheltering roof, a warm place to sleep, and three squares a day. 

I'm thankful for my Mom, my brothers and my sister. We aren't able to get together often, but we don't need to to know we are always there if needed. They are goofy, sarcastic, funny, stubborn, and loyal, they are family.

I'm thankful for good friends. The kind who say yes without having to know the reason why. The kind that will tell you the truth if it needs to be heard, embrace your ability to be a bad influence when it's called for, the Monica to your Rachel, the Thelma to your Louise, minus the gross murdery stuff, oh, and the whole driving off a cliff thing.

I'm thankful for my loving husband, four daughters, two sons-in-law, and all of my grandbabies. They are my reason, and always will be. They are the best of everything I am. 

I'm thankful.

So gratitude awareness.

Let's take a minute to remind ourselves not to take who and what we have for granted. 

Big things, little things, tiny things, all of it.

The beautiful turn of the leaves, the crisp air, a hot cup of coffee, an eclectic, satisfying playlist, a good book, a fresh cinnamon bun, a bike ride, a walk, a warm hug, and the ability to enjoy all of it without giving any of it a second thought. 

So, have some turkey, or ham, or chicken, a peanut butter sandwich, or pizza, or whatever gets your taste buds excited, eat a slice of pumpkin pie, or apple, or a chunk of whatever dessert makes you smile. Get together with family and friends, or sit with a book in a tub of bubbly, candle-lit solitude. 

Everyone's situation is different, hell, every day is different. Some days it's easy to find things to be grateful for. On other days, it can feel nearly impossible. It's on the hard days that it matters most. It's easy to be grateful when things are good, when we are flooded with light. It's in the darkness, when we have to search for something to hold on to, that's when we have to dig a bit deeper. Even if it means finding a speck of something so small it can barely hold the weight, place your gratitude there, and watch it grow. 

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May you find something to hang your gratitude hat on. It's there, it just might take a bit of digging.