If Your World Feels Dark...

 Hi!

This time of year can be really tough for so many, especially those who live with any or all of the shades of depression that exist in this world.

Struggling to stay out of the shadows that want to consume you can be exhausting, overwhelming, and can, sometimes, feel impossible. 

For those who fight to live in the light...

I am not an expert, and will never claim to be. What I am is a loved one of several people who live with anxiety disorders, bipolar, ADHD, and other challenges. 

If you are finding this holiday season ultra-difficult, please know you are not alone. 

We all feel stress. None of us feel or process it in the same way. None of us are wired the same way. None of us have had the same upbringing, even if we grew up in the same house. 

So..... none of us are in a place to judge how anyone else handles it. 

If you find the holidays easy, if you handle stress and anxiety in stride, that's awesome.

If you struggle, you are far from the only one.

If you are finding that this year is harder, that the dark is working overtime to swallow you whole, please reach out.

Call someone. Talk to anyone. Friends, family, co-workers, strangers. Literally anyone. Just know that you matter, you are wanted, that your light touches more people than you can imagine.

Please remind yourself that everything is temporary. 

I know how lame that sounds, but that doesn't make it any less true.

If you are in the clutches, please don't try to shake it off on your own, please don't mask it for others, please don't isolate yourself.

If you whisper and no one hears, talk louder, if talking isn't getting through, scream. 

We want you here. We want to see you, talk to you, hang out with you, help you.

When the fight seems too hard, just know you never have to fight it alone. 

We are here. 

Even if we don't know the exact right thing to say or do in the moment, we are here.

Even if you think we don't care, we are here.

Even if you think we don't like you, we are here.

Even if you think you are an unliftable burden, we are here. 

Even if you think there couldn't possibly be anyone who gives a crap, we are here.

We are here. We want you here too. All of you. Every part of you. We want you here.

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May you know, really know, that you are cared for, are loved, even if you can't feel it right now.

May you understand to the depths of your soul, that if you keep reaching, someone will be there, some way, some how. 

May you hold on, for the darkness will fade with help, healing, and time.

May you know we are there to help you with the climb. 

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It's Time To Lower Our Shoulders...

 

Hi!

As parts of the world remain in turmoil, as wars rage, as some humans continue to treat others with cruelty, I struggle a bit with the guilt that comes with the privilege of living the life I have.

I live in a home, though not fancy, it's warm, safe, comfortable, and filled to the brim with love. I live in a town where the word neighbour carries meaning. I live in a Province where the expansive, dancing skies caress the endless horizon, I live in a Country, although imperfect, is a pretty incredible place to call home.

This is not the case for far too many.

I believe, as humans, it's our responsibility to do what we can, whenever we can for those less fortunate than ourselves. But, I also believe it's okay to put that mantle down now and again to recharge ourselves, fuel our souls, and refill our tanks, so we have a reserve of joy to spread. 

We can't give what we don't have.

So, I don't know about you, but, for the next little while, I think I'm going to take a beat. Recharge, and give myself permission to enjoy this time with friends and family. 

I think it's time for a bit of a bad news break. 

It's time to bake some favourite treats, get together with some grandbabies and make a few tree ornaments, play some board games, watch some cheesy, predictable Holiday movies, sip some hot chocolate, and breathe. 

It's time to lower our shoulders, release the tension, and allow ourselves to truly relax. 

Yes, we still need to attend to our day-to-day, going to work, etc. but we can give ourselves permission to not pick up any extra weight, at least for now. 

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May you allow yourself to breathe in deep and completely exhale. 

May you take a beat, have some fun, blow off some steam, drink hot chocolate by the pail. 

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Yes, It's Stupid Cold...

 Hi!

So we got our first taste of sub -40 today. Likely the first of several before the snow melts. For those who live where the air NEVER hurts your face, here's what it's like.

This is when you load enough extra winter gear into your car to stave off freezing in weather just like this for several hours.  This gear will ride around until April.

Alongside the gear will be a candle, a roll of toilet paper, emergency snacks, reflectors, a shovel, and some kitty litter. (for traction if needed, weight to keep you from sliding around, if not needed)

You will make sure your gas gauge never falls below half in case you get stuck and need to stay in your running car to not become a human popsicle. 

This is when you try your best not to have uncovered skin exposed to the elements for more than about 30 seconds. 

This is the time of year I feel for those new to our neck of the woods. 

This is when you BETTER not forget to plug in your vehicle. For those who live in places where the air DOESN"T hurt your face, vehicles up here have a thing called a block heater, and if you have any hope of starting said vehicle to go to work, or anywhere else for that matter, you need to plug that sucker in for at least a few hours before you attempt to start it. 

This is when it's too cold to snow. Yes, that's a thing. 

Yes, it's stupid cold. Yes, it adds an extra challenge to the regular day-to-day. Yes, this makes a person consider buying a ton of stock in companies that make lotion. Yes, this weather triggers an urge to make copious amounts of homemade soup. 

Are there worse things? Always. Are there those who have it harder? Most definitely. 

All you have to do is take a walk in any of our cities. The unhoused fight to survive the bitterness. 

Please do what you can to support the charities that support the ones doing their best to survive the cold. Warmth should be for everyone, not just the lucky ones.  

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May every beating heart find enough warmth to feel safe, accepted, and seen.

Christmas Lists... Naughty Or Nice?

 

Hi!

So, shopping for Christmas.

For those who celebrate, it can be a stressful time. If you have those little, big-eyed, sticky-fingered, over-excitable believers still in your midst, it can be especially so.

They write their lists, and send them off, hoping, wishing, and putting in extra effort to stay off the naughty list. Now, different folks are in different circumstances. Not every parent or caregiver can pull off buying all, or maybe even any of the things on a little one's list. 

So, for those who can, that's awesome, but I'm wondering if you might consider making the Santa gifts that land under your tree, the most affordable ones. I mean, let's face it, the littles come back to school and daycare after the holiday, and are all very excited to tell each other what the big guy brought them. 

If I'm one of the littles who lives in a challenging tax bracket, I might think that I'm not worthy of Santa's best, like my little friends are. I can start to internalize pretty quickly that I must somehow be less than, if others opened their wishlists and my list was seemingly ignored. 

So those of you who are able, and wish to, by all means, go nuts. But, if you could, please make the 'best' gifts from you, not Santa. For those who may be struggling to put gifts under the tree, all you can do is your best. Gifts do not define the holiday. Making the holiday special doesn't have to break the bank. 

More than anything kids want you. Your time. They want you, present, all in. Marathon Candyland, silly movies snuggled on the couch, funny Christmas songs, walking or driving around looking at lights, making cookies... you. They just want to know they matter. 

So, if you'll excuse me, I have to go give my 10-year-old stand mixer a workout I'm not all that confident she's up for. She tends to make some weird noises when exerting herself and overheats randomly. She is not just my mixer, she's my soul mate. 

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May your child, no matter their age, feel the magic that Christmas brings.

May they giggle as the loop of jingle bells, batman smells, choruses ring.

So, This Is November...

 

Hi,

Saskatchewan skylines, and the first hints of baking for Christmas. 

The season begins with making new memories and cherishing those that live within us. Some carry on traditions passed down through generations, some choose not to, or have none to carry. 

Everyone approaches this time of year in their own way. As it should be.

For me... right now.... this is where I sit.

I fight against the darkness that the extended nights bring.  Snowmen, wreaths, and baking are my weapons of choice. My army of sarcastic, hilarious, bear-hugging, taste-testing soldiers is never out of reach.

I fight against the grief that still, occasionally, attempts to grip me, triggered by the most unexpected things. A song, a smell, a familiar grin echoed on a face too young to recognize it, or where it came from. 

I fight for time to spend with those who matter most. 

So, if you, like me, need a lift, find it.

If that means putting up decorations when others think it's too early... do it.

If that means baking too much... do it.

If that means watching cheesy, sappy holiday movies that all have the same plot, same characters, and same endings... go for it.

If that means connecting with loved ones a bit more often than usual... do it. 

Whatever it means, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, including you... do it. 

So, if you see or know someone who starts celebrating the holidays early, cheer them on. Keep your eyerolls, and judgments to yourself. You might not need it, or want it, but they do, and that's okay. 

So bring on the tinsel, the cookies, the garland, the music, the decorations. Let the holiday spirit swallow you up. I'm ready for it.

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May we each give room for those to do, or not do, whatever they need to, to get by.

May we spend this time lifting each other up, making each other laugh, not cry.

May you find what you need to bring a smile to your face.

May we all remember that life is not a competition, not a race. 

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In Honour Of...

Hi.

In honour of all those who have sacrificed to afford us freedoms that we all too often take for granted, thank you.

Thank you is a phrase much too small and profoundly weak to represent the measure of gratitude owed. It's not just the ones who wear the uniforms, it's those who love them, those who need them, those who want them home. 

You need not look far to witness the costs of fighting for those freedoms. There are too many places in this world where being free is still a seemingly impossible dream.

Oppression is real. It's everywhere. Consequences of oppression hit hardest those directly held down and held back. It then filters through to systems, laws, and perceptions, skewing the vision of those who live in privilege. 

Oppressing any swath of humanity creates a society that twists itself in knots trying to convince itself that it can be successful in doing so. History has shown us relentlessly that oppression is not a sustainable way to co-exist.

There is no group of humans, race, religion, or culture, that has any legitimate reason to feel superior to another. None. Because of this, trying to perpetuate a narrative that tries to support that in any way is doomed to fail. Thankfully.

So, thank you.

Without those who have, and continue to sacrifice, I wouldn't be able to write this. Democracy wouldn't exist. The hope and fight for equality couldn't happen. 

Freedom is never free, spend it wisely. 

Let's honour our vets. 

Honour them by supporting them, and not just when they are deployed. They need us when they get home. Their families need us. 

Honour them by not using our freedoms to strip the freedoms from others. 

Honour them by living peacefully, and by simply letting others do the same.

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May the pieces of you that shattered, become a new, beautiful mosaic, still recognized and loved, but different than before.

May your mosaic be appreciated, admired, cared for, and respected, especially if the shattering is yet incomplete, for to shatter repeatedly leaves you raw and sore. 

May you, in your masterpiece, never fear a shift, a change, a growth, for by now you know, that shattered and broken are two very different things.

May you remain courageous, find yourself, reach for what you need, scream if you have to, find your voice, and sing. 

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Dear Neighbours To The South...

 

Hi!

Please let me begin with this.

I'm always flabbergasted by any election cycle in the States. 

It's no wonder their campaigns cost soooooo much money, they are endless.

They seem to begin campaigning with ads on tv and social media without end. As we get a fair amount of our television from the U.S, we get the same bombardment that is aimed at their voters. 

The ads are pretty messed up. It seems that there is no lie they aren't willing to tell, no fact that is left intact. It's like watching really bad fan fiction, the real stories being swallowed up by something unrecognizable and simply accepted. Weird.

I get that there is a lot at stake for them with this election. There is a good size faction trying to drag their country backward, and that, in and of itself, is baffling. The whole idea of stripping women of body autonomy, messing with pensions that people have been paying into for decades, wanting to revisit the legitimacy of same sex marriage, trying to deny the very existence of entire swaths of LBGTQ+ people. Pretending that the climate isn't changing.

The fact that there are those out there that think having a drag queen come to your library to read to kids is somehow, I don't know, detrimental to the kids is just so strange. People are willing to get your kids excited about books and reading. They are, by their very presence, letting these little ones know that living outside the box is not only accepted, but celebrated.

How is that bad? I don't get it.

Every child deserves to feel accepted, and some don't get that acceptance at home. They need it from somewhere.

Every adult should have the right to marry another adult. As long as it's consensual, adults can get married if they so choose. Any argument to the contrary is just stupid. Period. 

Every person has the right to dictate what happens to their own body. End of discussion. 

In a democracy, the ability to vote freely without intimidation, and have those votes count, I mean without both of those things, you don't have democracy at all. 

I'm not sure what the goal is for those who wish to turn back time. Turn it back to a time of oppression for so many. Moving forward is tough enough without the drag.

What's the goal? 

To shove people back into closets where they can drown in self-loathing?

To make people who were born in a gender that feels wrong, feel like they are 'wrong' again?

To make women have to ask a man's permission, or any permission, to take care of themselves? To determine their own path?

To, instead of fixing systemic racism, deny its existence, and encourage its expansion? Until what? Segregation becomes a thing... again?

So, dear neighbours to the South... vote.

If you are listening to the words coming out of some candidates' mouths, if you want to continue to make choices for yourselves, and your families, if you want your country to remain a democracy...vote.

Take care.

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May you, a week from now, be someone we can recognize.

May this fall into the dark be interrupted, thwarted by the wise.