The top image is something that has been making its way around social media. I saw it. I read it. I understood why it is circulating. I know from experience, like pretty much every female on the planet, the importance of it. It also sits on my soul like an infected lesion.
When and where exactly do we live? Why are we still having to walk around like we live in a post-apocalyptic war zone?!
So I fixed it. My remedy, the bottom image.
I recently had the pleasure of chatting with some back-to-school kids. The subject of clothes, what's allowed and what isn't, came up.
What I quickly discovered, are the lopsided rules when it comes to what female students are, and are not permitted to wear, compared to the free reign the males seem to have by comparison. Still. In 2022!
Please tell me when the females on this planet will cease to be responsible for males' attitudes and actions.
Please tell me at what point we stop forcing females to curb their behavior and start making males control theirs?
I mean, it's really not hard. Our demands are simple. There really is only one.
Don't hurt us.
Predatory behavior needs to be treated like what it is. Poison.
Predatory behavior needs to be called out. Every. Single. Time.
It's not funny. It's not cute. The wink wink nod nod bullshit needs to stop.
We felt the need to teach our daughters to physically defend themselves. And, it's a good thing we did, because every one of them has had to use those skills at least a few times.
Not just once.
I've had to.
Every female I know over the age of 13 has had to either physically defend themselves, or use evading tactics to get themselves out of sketchy situations.
The women reading this will know what that means.
Laughing something off even though it makes your stomach turn.
Being friendly when everything in you wants to be anything but.
Maneuvering around a crowded space, shrinking yourself as small as possible, as to not draw unwanted attention.
Answering 'greetings' from slimy douchebags, as to not trigger said douche into escalating the situation into something that becomes dangerous.
Having to befriend groups of safe-looking strangers, as not to have to deal with the guy following you.
Covering up our bodies whether we want to or not, because we are somehow responsible for grown men's lack of self-control.
I can't even put into words how pissed off I am that my granddaughters and nieces are still having to deal with this crap.
Why have men not evolved past this neanderthal bullshit?
Why? Because they have not been required to do so.
Well, the time is long past due. And it's not the responsibility of women to make it happen. At least not directly.
Mothers... teach your sons. Teach them how to have healthy, partnerships with women. Equal relationships. Teach them boundaries.
Fathers... teach your sons. First, unlearn all of the crap definitions of manhood that have enveloped you your whole life, then teach those lessons. Every time you get the urge to wink wink nod nod, stop it. Be aware of it, and stop it. Read some books, take some classes, talk to women about this, do your homework, and evolve. And then... call out predatory behavior... always.
Mothers... teach your daughters. Teach them to take up space. Teach them to wear what makes them light up. Teach them that is never their job to make themselves smaller or less than to appease a male ego. Teach them to be everything they want to be, never compromising their shine because a boy can't handle it. Teach them to be their brilliant, caring, loud selves.
Fathers... teach your daughters that boundaries are theirs to make, and theirs alone. Teach them what respect looks like. Teach them how to never settle. Teach them that they are the ones who decide if, when, and how they have sex. Teach them that pressure is not foreplay. Be the kind of man you would wish upon your daughters. Be the kind of man you want your son to become.
Regardless of sex or gender teaching basic human respect for all people is parenting 101.
Do it.
Teach kindness instead of competition. Teach them that lifting others up does not diminish them. Equality for all oppresses no one.
I for one am tired, and I simply refuse to accept crap behavior from men for one more day.
I'm done.
I thank the universe every single day that I found and married one of the good ones.
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May we finally be allowed to quit looking over our shoulders.
May we finally be able to let down our guard, breathe, be free.
May every predator be put in his place every single time his urges bubble to the surface.
May my granddaughters not have to walk with their keys between their fingers.
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