Not Every Child Has Someone Who Is Finding It Hard To Let Them Go...

 

Hi! 

So, this is what it looks like to be excited to go back to school.

She's six. She's going into grade one. She got a brand new pencil case, a fresh haircut, and a new outfit. 

She's the youngest of our grandbabies.

So many will be sending their firstborn babies into the big world of education within the next week or so, and it's hard.

So many will be sending their youngest off to a world where, for the first time, they will be at the mercy of virtual strangers, and it's hard. 

So many will be sending their offspring off to university/college very soon, if they haven't left already, and it's hard. 

So many will be sending their littles off to daycare for the first time, and it's hard.

It's supposed to be. 

If it's not, check your connections. You might find you need to reboot a thing or two.

So many things about parenting are hard. 

When they are babies, we obsess over every detail of their every bodily function. Is everything happening often enough? Too often? Is their pee too yellow, not yellow, is there enough of it? Same with their poop! 

Are we feeding them too much, or not enough? When should we introduce solid food, what should it be? Do we give them eggs? Meat? Peanut butter? There are soooooo many opinions! 

Then, they get sick for the first time. Do they need to go to the doctor? The hospital? Are we just being paranoid? Should I give them some over-the-counter medicine? What kind? Is it safe? Should I ask? Who should I ask?

Then comes daycare, elementary school, middle school high school, and then their choices become completely their own. We no longer get a vote. 

 

And, that is when everything goes as close to plan as possible. The thing is, nothing ever does.

And that's okay. 

Nobody gets through life without any scars. Yes, we try to protect them from the big things, the things that can be life-altering in the worst possible ways. We try to teach them to be kind, to be generous, to do the right thing, especially when it's hard.

We quickly discover that our real job as parents is to show up. To be far enough away to allow decisions to happen, but always close enough to catch them when they fall. This exercise is very literal in the beginning, becoming more and more metaphorical as they grow. We try to teach by example how to get back up when life throws you to the ground. We try to teach them to be a good friend without becoming a doormat. We try to show them how to care for themselves. We teach them that most bad decisions aren't fatal. You can recover. It might not be pretty, it might hurt, but you can.

We try to teach them to give of themselves without losing themselves.

Are there times when they drive us crazy? Of course!

Are there times we question every single parenting decision we've made? Of course!

Are there times we feel more like the manager of a team of drunk, hyper, pissed-off badgers than an actual parent? Of course!

Are there times we wouldn't trade for anything? Absolutely! Those are what we hold closest when we reminisce, they outshine the hard things a million times over. 

Not every child has someone who is finding it hard to let them go.

Every child should.

There are little ones living in chaos, in violence, in neglect.

There are kids who are living in foster care, feeling shuffled.

There are kids aging out of foster care, with no one to help them navigate what comes next. 

It's impossible to dream if you are too busy just surviving.

We have options. 

We can look away and pretend we don't know this, don't see this, we aren't aware.

Or....

We can help. In big ways, in small ways. We can do it anonymously, or through big gestures. We can reverse porch pirate where we know there is a need. We can donate to shelters. We can give our time and money to charities that support at-risk youth. 

We can help. 

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May you smile at everyone you meet, you never know the lift it may bring.

May you help give someone the gift of space to dream, to dance, to sing. 

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