You Don't Have To Put Up With It!

This is typically what happens when I try to get a photo of my four grandmunchkins. They immediately prove their pedigree, providing endless goofiness, and general smartassery. Although this means the likelihood of me ever having a formal, serious photo of them is slim to none, at least in the foreseeable future, if their moms and aunties are any indication, I will take it. Gladly.

They are happy, healthy, and live without a care in the world. I'll live with goofy pictures.



Sooooo I had hopes that we could make it through a week without a news story that made my skin crawl. I was wrong.

Harvey. Not just a hurricane, but a movie mogul. A guy using his power, both physical and professional, to bully women into sexually vulnerable situations. Forcing them or attempting to force them into doing things they didn't want to do. Some were able to escape physically, others weren't so lucky. None escaped emotionally.

I wish we could chalk this up to being a "Hollywood" thing. But we all know we can't. I doubt if there is anyone reading this who hasn't been sexually harassed or assaulted, or that at least, doesn't know someone who has been sexually harassed or assaulted.

The grabbing, the groping, the inappropriate words, the intimidation. We've all had to deal with it at some point. Why? Because some of the males of our species were never taught respect. They've been taught to treat us as a sum of our parts, not people.

We need to teach our sons, brothers, grandsons how a real man behaves and speaks toward and to and about women and girls. How do we do that? By example.

As men, it's your responsibility to be that example. Be the man we need future men to be.

As women, stand up, speak up, hold each other up. You don't have to put up with it. Say something, throw the lights on, evil can only hide if you let it. Don't give them permission to make you feel like a victim, or hold you responsible for their lack of impulse control. No matter what you wear, where and how you walk, if you like to party, don't like to party, are a smartass, or are timid, if you like to have sex with a different guy every night, or are a virgin waiting for perfection, you get to decide. Not one iota of any of this gives them any right to your body in any way shape or form.

If it's your boss, get a lawyer. Most only get paid if you do. You can afford it.

If it's a co-worker, tell. You don't have to put up with it.

If it's a stranger in a crowd, call them on it. You don't have to put up with it.

If it's catcalling in the street, ignore it. They are idiots.

If, God forbid you are raped. Tell. Report it. No matter what the rapist said or did, this was NOT your fault. It will be hard, it will be terrifying, you may never be able to prove it. But, to stay silent will eat at you for the rest of your life. Talking about it, bringing it out in the open, fighting for justice, is what helps a victim become a survivor. It allows the scars to fade. The shame is not yours to carry, it's his. You're not allowed to keep it, it's not yours. It's NOT yours.

I'll never forget one work situation I had where I was warned ahead of time about a co-worker. "He likes to grab butts, but he's harmless." My answer "Well, that's bullshit."

Sure enough, before the day was done he decided to give it a try. Right in front of my female boss. He had the audacity to be indignant, as he picked himself up off the floor. I explained to him in short little words that if he tried that again, I would be more than happy to knock his ass out.

Imagine my surprise when the admonishment from the boss was aimed toward me instead of him. I explained my position once again, making sure she clearly understood as well. I worked there for three years after that, with only one other incident with this co-worker, after which, long story short, he needed a new pair of glasses. Just to be clear, I quit that job for unrelated reasons, it had nothing to do with him.

Everyone is wired differently and, therefore, handle situations differently. Just know, no matter what, you deserve to be treated with respect. You don't have to put up with it!


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This past week was filled with time with family, a trip to the menopause circus, prep for the tradeshow this weekend.

As for the next week.....

Tradeshow in Gravelbourg.....

Work the shop........

Prep for school visit on Friday the 20th....

Dentist........

Prep for library visit on Sat the 21st....

Rehearse for karaoke show booked for the 28th......


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Well, that about does it for now.................

For the Harvey's of the world.............


May you be given the opportunity to truly understand the consequences of your actions.
May you experience each and every indignity you apparently felt compelled to bequeath, with no exception.

May the power you wield, that poisonous sword, be stripped, may you know what it is to be helpless.
May you change your core beliefs to include that women are actual people, not faceless playthings, somehow, less.

May you understand true restitution is impossible, for dignity carries no price, but every value.
May you know, none of this should be news, if you had decency, there would be no need to tell you.


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