Dear Scammers...

Hi,



This is for those who are called/emailed.texted and otherwise harassed by scammers.


Dear Scammers,


I don't know what is broken within you to be able to justify what you do.

What do you tell your Mom you do for a living?

As a little kid, when your friends were dreaming of becoming astronauts and doctors, were you dreaming of stealing the life savings of sweet little old ladies?

What makes you feel entitled to the hard earned money of others?

Why do you get so upset when I don't believe you, and call you a thief? I'm not sure why you are offended. If I was a doctor, wouldn't people call me Doctor?

I write people call me a writer.

This is your career of choice, embrace the title.

So, Thief, although I find your tirades about how the Taxman is coming to get me, and how my loved one is in desperate need of bail money, entertaining, downright funny even, I know some take you at your word.

There are trusting souls out there who can't even imagine someone would be so devious, so they believe.

Then there are people like me.

Instead of you using me as a victim in theft, I use you. I use you to vent every pent up frustration I may be harbouring. And, depending on how deeply dipped into the menopausal pool I am on the day, the amount of unpleasantness can border on disturbing.

You would think, when confronted, you would just hang up, I mean, why put up with me? It never ceases to amaze me how indignant you get. How offended you get. How belligerent you get.

One thing they should teach you in scam school, never enter into a war of words with a menopausal woman armed with a large vocabulary and a black belt in sarcasm.

I will always treat people with kindness and respect unless and until they give me a valid reason not to. You provide ample reason not to.

So scammers, if you call, and I happen to answer, buckle up.

To those trusting souls. No matter what they are saying, how desperate they paint the situation, hang up. Hang up. Better yet, don't answer. Unless you recognize the number, don't answer. If they leave a message, you have evidence. If they don't, good.


Ironically enough, as I sit here and write this, a scammer called my cell phone. I had to stop writing for a bit to make a belligerent man cry. He became frustrated by my questions, his inability to intimidate me, and by my laughter at his expense. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.


That about does it for now.



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May any incoming calls be pleasant, and from those you actually know.
May you allow your voicemail catch any lies, delete them into oblivion where they should go.

May every scammer within the reach of these words have karma bite them where it hurts the most.
May you, scammer, call me, make it a deeply dipped day, we'll discuss the career you chose.

May scammers become completely unemployed, no victims susceptible to their intimidation.
May they become extinct, on every continent, in every city, in every nation.


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