A Life Bigger, Wider, Broader, Deeper...

 Hi! 

And just like that, we are on the threshold of another new year. Another chance to live the lives we were meant to live. Another chance to marry our actions to our dreams. Another chance to look at our lives, and make decisions to improve them. 

This time of year tends to make a lot of us reflective. Which is a good thing, I think We are here to learn things, and you can't do that if you just bumble through life without thought. 

Personally, I strive to live a life that goes beyond just living on the surface. Yes, day-to-day mechanics of life happen, at least to a certain extent, on auto-pilot. I won't deny that. I do, though, on a regular basis, take a step back and take a deeper dive. 

I can't help but believe that life should be bigger, wider, broader and deeper than making money, paying bills, and chasing errands. It has to. 

It has to be bigger than keeping score of who has the biggest, best and fanciest. 

It has to be wider than our bubbles of comfort.

It has to be broader than the borders that surround us.

It has to be deeper than worrying about mortgages, meetings, and buying groceries. 

It has to. 

We all know this on some level, but reminders never hurt. I know I need them fairly often.

Tomorrow is never promised, which makes each day precious. We should always do our best to treat it as such. 

We can't grow without some level of discomfort.

Kindness isn't an act, it's a choice we make every day. 

Put the majority of your energy into the things that light you up, things that feed your soul.

Let go. Let go of all the things that weigh you down. You don't need permission from anyone but yourself.

Forgiveness is not for those who have wronged you, it's the antidote to the poisons they left within you. 

Treat yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and understanding you give your friends. 

It's okay to take a beat when you need to, and breathe. 

Busy should never be the goal. 

The way you are perceived by others is irrelevant. Be guided by your heart, your conscience. Making decisions based on the fear of others' opinions can do nothing but lead to a path to discontent. 

So as this year winds down. look back, reflect, hold on to the good parts, and let the rest go.

Cherish the now, be hopeful, be positive, be brave, be kind, and strive to be here to treasure each tomorrow with health and happiness.  

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Happy New Year!

May the upcoming year bring you nothing but happiness and laughter.

May any obstacles be tiny, nothing but a worn-down speed bump, barely noticeable in this new chapter.

May your every dream come true, if not in the way you envisioned, in a way simply too magical for you to conceive. 

May you trust that good things can happen, they do every day, we just need to pay attention and believe. 

May you live your life, steering toward joy, aiming at happiness, spewing dust into the face of fear.

May you feed what lights you up, nourish your peace, living an incredible New Year!

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Happy Holidays!

 

Hi! This is going to be a bit short and sweet.

Short, because gratefully, we have our whole crew landing under our roof in a couple of days, and I still have stuff to do.

Sweet, because there is nothing that makes life sweeter than them coming home.

As our kids get older, and their kids get older,  the amount of time we all spend under one roof diminishes. Naturally so. It just makes the times we are able to get together more meaningful. 

We know just how lucky we are. We are grateful.

So, when you celebrate this holiday season, no matter how, no matter why, no matter where, keep in your thoughts those who are spending this season in the dark, in the cold, in turmoil, alone. 

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Spending...

May you spend your time in such a way that looking back will make you smile.

May you treasure your time with loved ones, especially if you haven't seen them in a while.

May none of us take for granted our time together, our time alone, our time... period.

May we understand that to do so, by no means do we always need to be serious. 

May your laughter ring loud enough to lift the spirits of those who need it most.

May your every act of kindness ripple far, ripple wide, reaching both poles, each and every coast.

If Your World Feels Dark...

 Hi!

This time of year can be really tough for so many, especially those who live with any or all of the shades of depression that exist in this world.

Struggling to stay out of the shadows that want to consume you can be exhausting, overwhelming, and can, sometimes, feel impossible. 

For those who fight to live in the light...

I am not an expert, and will never claim to be. What I am is a loved one of several people who live with anxiety disorders, bipolar, ADHD, and other challenges. 

If you are finding this holiday season ultra-difficult, please know you are not alone. 

We all feel stress. None of us feel or process it in the same way. None of us are wired the same way. None of us have had the same upbringing, even if we grew up in the same house. 

So..... none of us are in a place to judge how anyone else handles it. 

If you find the holidays easy, if you handle stress and anxiety in stride, that's awesome.

If you struggle, you are far from the only one.

If you are finding that this year is harder, that the dark is working overtime to swallow you whole, please reach out.

Call someone. Talk to anyone. Friends, family, co-workers, strangers. Literally anyone. Just know that you matter, you are wanted, that your light touches more people than you can imagine.

Please remind yourself that everything is temporary. 

I know how lame that sounds, but that doesn't make it any less true.

If you are in the clutches, please don't try to shake it off on your own, please don't mask it for others, please don't isolate yourself.

If you whisper and no one hears, talk louder, if talking isn't getting through, scream. 

We want you here. We want to see you, talk to you, hang out with you, help you.

When the fight seems too hard, just know you never have to fight it alone. 

We are here. 

Even if we don't know the exact right thing to say or do in the moment, we are here.

Even if you think we don't care, we are here.

Even if you think we don't like you, we are here.

Even if you think you are an unliftable burden, we are here. 

Even if you think there couldn't possibly be anyone who gives a crap, we are here.

We are here. We want you here too. All of you. Every part of you. We want you here.

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May you know, really know, that you are cared for, are loved, even if you can't feel it right now.

May you understand to the depths of your soul, that if you keep reaching, someone will be there, some way, some how. 

May you hold on, for the darkness will fade with help, healing, and time.

May you know we are there to help you with the climb. 

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It's Time To Lower Our Shoulders...

 

Hi!

As parts of the world remain in turmoil, as wars rage, as some humans continue to treat others with cruelty, I struggle a bit with the guilt that comes with the privilege of living the life I have.

I live in a home, though not fancy, it's warm, safe, comfortable, and filled to the brim with love. I live in a town where the word neighbour carries meaning. I live in a Province where the expansive, dancing skies caress the endless horizon, I live in a Country, although imperfect, is a pretty incredible place to call home.

This is not the case for far too many.

I believe, as humans, it's our responsibility to do what we can, whenever we can for those less fortunate than ourselves. But, I also believe it's okay to put that mantle down now and again to recharge ourselves, fuel our souls, and refill our tanks, so we have a reserve of joy to spread. 

We can't give what we don't have.

So, I don't know about you, but, for the next little while, I think I'm going to take a beat. Recharge, and give myself permission to enjoy this time with friends and family. 

I think it's time for a bit of a bad news break. 

It's time to bake some favourite treats, get together with some grandbabies and make a few tree ornaments, play some board games, watch some cheesy, predictable Holiday movies, sip some hot chocolate, and breathe. 

It's time to lower our shoulders, release the tension, and allow ourselves to truly relax. 

Yes, we still need to attend to our day-to-day, going to work, etc. but we can give ourselves permission to not pick up any extra weight, at least for now. 

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May you allow yourself to breathe in deep and completely exhale. 

May you take a beat, have some fun, blow off some steam, drink hot chocolate by the pail. 

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Yes, It's Stupid Cold...

 Hi!

So we got our first taste of sub -40 today. Likely the first of several before the snow melts. For those who live where the air NEVER hurts your face, here's what it's like.

This is when you load enough extra winter gear into your car to stave off freezing in weather just like this for several hours.  This gear will ride around until April.

Alongside the gear will be a candle, a roll of toilet paper, emergency snacks, reflectors, a shovel, and some kitty litter. (for traction if needed, weight to keep you from sliding around, if not needed)

You will make sure your gas gauge never falls below half in case you get stuck and need to stay in your running car to not become a human popsicle. 

This is when you try your best not to have uncovered skin exposed to the elements for more than about 30 seconds. 

This is the time of year I feel for those new to our neck of the woods. 

This is when you BETTER not forget to plug in your vehicle. For those who live in places where the air DOESN"T hurt your face, vehicles up here have a thing called a block heater, and if you have any hope of starting said vehicle to go to work, or anywhere else for that matter, you need to plug that sucker in for at least a few hours before you attempt to start it. 

This is when it's too cold to snow. Yes, that's a thing. 

Yes, it's stupid cold. Yes, it adds an extra challenge to the regular day-to-day. Yes, this makes a person consider buying a ton of stock in companies that make lotion. Yes, this weather triggers an urge to make copious amounts of homemade soup. 

Are there worse things? Always. Are there those who have it harder? Most definitely. 

All you have to do is take a walk in any of our cities. The unhoused fight to survive the bitterness. 

Please do what you can to support the charities that support the ones doing their best to survive the cold. Warmth should be for everyone, not just the lucky ones.  

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May every beating heart find enough warmth to feel safe, accepted, and seen.

Christmas Lists... Naughty Or Nice?

 

Hi!

So, shopping for Christmas.

For those who celebrate, it can be a stressful time. If you have those little, big-eyed, sticky-fingered, over-excitable believers still in your midst, it can be especially so.

They write their lists, and send them off, hoping, wishing, and putting in extra effort to stay off the naughty list. Now, different folks are in different circumstances. Not every parent or caregiver can pull off buying all, or maybe even any of the things on a little one's list. 

So, for those who can, that's awesome, but I'm wondering if you might consider making the Santa gifts that land under your tree, the most affordable ones. I mean, let's face it, the littles come back to school and daycare after the holiday, and are all very excited to tell each other what the big guy brought them. 

If I'm one of the littles who lives in a challenging tax bracket, I might think that I'm not worthy of Santa's best, like my little friends are. I can start to internalize pretty quickly that I must somehow be less than, if others opened their wishlists and my list was seemingly ignored. 

So those of you who are able, and wish to, by all means, go nuts. But, if you could, please make the 'best' gifts from you, not Santa. For those who may be struggling to put gifts under the tree, all you can do is your best. Gifts do not define the holiday. Making the holiday special doesn't have to break the bank. 

More than anything kids want you. Your time. They want you, present, all in. Marathon Candyland, silly movies snuggled on the couch, funny Christmas songs, walking or driving around looking at lights, making cookies... you. They just want to know they matter. 

So, if you'll excuse me, I have to go give my 10-year-old stand mixer a workout I'm not all that confident she's up for. She tends to make some weird noises when exerting herself and overheats randomly. She is not just my mixer, she's my soul mate. 

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May your child, no matter their age, feel the magic that Christmas brings.

May they giggle as the loop of jingle bells, batman smells, choruses ring.

So, This Is November...

 

Hi,

Saskatchewan skylines, and the first hints of baking for Christmas. 

The season begins with making new memories and cherishing those that live within us. Some carry on traditions passed down through generations, some choose not to, or have none to carry. 

Everyone approaches this time of year in their own way. As it should be.

For me... right now.... this is where I sit.

I fight against the darkness that the extended nights bring.  Snowmen, wreaths, and baking are my weapons of choice. My army of sarcastic, hilarious, bear-hugging, taste-testing soldiers is never out of reach.

I fight against the grief that still, occasionally, attempts to grip me, triggered by the most unexpected things. A song, a smell, a familiar grin echoed on a face too young to recognize it, or where it came from. 

I fight for time to spend with those who matter most. 

So, if you, like me, need a lift, find it.

If that means putting up decorations when others think it's too early... do it.

If that means baking too much... do it.

If that means watching cheesy, sappy holiday movies that all have the same plot, same characters, and same endings... go for it.

If that means connecting with loved ones a bit more often than usual... do it. 

Whatever it means, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, including you... do it. 

So, if you see or know someone who starts celebrating the holidays early, cheer them on. Keep your eyerolls, and judgments to yourself. You might not need it, or want it, but they do, and that's okay. 

So bring on the tinsel, the cookies, the garland, the music, the decorations. Let the holiday spirit swallow you up. I'm ready for it.

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May we each give room for those to do, or not do, whatever they need to, to get by.

May we spend this time lifting each other up, making each other laugh, not cry.

May you find what you need to bring a smile to your face.

May we all remember that life is not a competition, not a race. 

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In Honour Of...

Hi.

In honour of all those who have sacrificed to afford us freedoms that we all too often take for granted, thank you.

Thank you is a phrase much too small and profoundly weak to represent the measure of gratitude owed. It's not just the ones who wear the uniforms, it's those who love them, those who need them, those who want them home. 

You need not look far to witness the costs of fighting for those freedoms. There are too many places in this world where being free is still a seemingly impossible dream.

Oppression is real. It's everywhere. Consequences of oppression hit hardest those directly held down and held back. It then filters through to systems, laws, and perceptions, skewing the vision of those who live in privilege. 

Oppressing any swath of humanity creates a society that twists itself in knots trying to convince itself that it can be successful in doing so. History has shown us relentlessly that oppression is not a sustainable way to co-exist.

There is no group of humans, race, religion, or culture, that has any legitimate reason to feel superior to another. None. Because of this, trying to perpetuate a narrative that tries to support that in any way is doomed to fail. Thankfully.

So, thank you.

Without those who have, and continue to sacrifice, I wouldn't be able to write this. Democracy wouldn't exist. The hope and fight for equality couldn't happen. 

Freedom is never free, spend it wisely. 

Let's honour our vets. 

Honour them by supporting them, and not just when they are deployed. They need us when they get home. Their families need us. 

Honour them by not using our freedoms to strip the freedoms from others. 

Honour them by living peacefully, and by simply letting others do the same.

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May the pieces of you that shattered, become a new, beautiful mosaic, still recognized and loved, but different than before.

May your mosaic be appreciated, admired, cared for, and respected, especially if the shattering is yet incomplete, for to shatter repeatedly leaves you raw and sore. 

May you, in your masterpiece, never fear a shift, a change, a growth, for by now you know, that shattered and broken are two very different things.

May you remain courageous, find yourself, reach for what you need, scream if you have to, find your voice, and sing. 

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Dear Neighbours To The South...

 

Hi!

Please let me begin with this.

I'm always flabbergasted by any election cycle in the States. 

It's no wonder their campaigns cost soooooo much money, they are endless.

They seem to begin campaigning with ads on tv and social media without end. As we get a fair amount of our television from the U.S, we get the same bombardment that is aimed at their voters. 

The ads are pretty messed up. It seems that there is no lie they aren't willing to tell, no fact that is left intact. It's like watching really bad fan fiction, the real stories being swallowed up by something unrecognizable and simply accepted. Weird.

I get that there is a lot at stake for them with this election. There is a good size faction trying to drag their country backward, and that, in and of itself, is baffling. The whole idea of stripping women of body autonomy, messing with pensions that people have been paying into for decades, wanting to revisit the legitimacy of same sex marriage, trying to deny the very existence of entire swaths of LBGTQ+ people. Pretending that the climate isn't changing.

The fact that there are those out there that think having a drag queen come to your library to read to kids is somehow, I don't know, detrimental to the kids is just so strange. People are willing to get your kids excited about books and reading. They are, by their very presence, letting these little ones know that living outside the box is not only accepted, but celebrated.

How is that bad? I don't get it.

Every child deserves to feel accepted, and some don't get that acceptance at home. They need it from somewhere.

Every adult should have the right to marry another adult. As long as it's consensual, adults can get married if they so choose. Any argument to the contrary is just stupid. Period. 

Every person has the right to dictate what happens to their own body. End of discussion. 

In a democracy, the ability to vote freely without intimidation, and have those votes count, I mean without both of those things, you don't have democracy at all. 

I'm not sure what the goal is for those who wish to turn back time. Turn it back to a time of oppression for so many. Moving forward is tough enough without the drag.

What's the goal? 

To shove people back into closets where they can drown in self-loathing?

To make people who were born in a gender that feels wrong, feel like they are 'wrong' again?

To make women have to ask a man's permission, or any permission, to take care of themselves? To determine their own path?

To, instead of fixing systemic racism, deny its existence, and encourage its expansion? Until what? Segregation becomes a thing... again?

So, dear neighbours to the South... vote.

If you are listening to the words coming out of some candidates' mouths, if you want to continue to make choices for yourselves, and your families, if you want your country to remain a democracy...vote.

Take care.

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May you, a week from now, be someone we can recognize.

May this fall into the dark be interrupted, thwarted by the wise.

Happy Halloween!

 Hi! 

Well, we are getting ready to do our first karaoke show since pre-pandemic times! 

I'm glad Halloween is the first one back. I love the costumes, and the whole vibe of a Halloween gig. Everyone is a little more willing to let their hair down and relax into the fun. Something about dressing as something, or someone else gives that freedom. 

With all that is messed up in the world, it's nice, and it's important to take a few hours every now and again, and blow off steam.

If it's getting dressed up as who knows what and singing your heart out, if it's going dancing until you can't possibly dance any more, if it's heading out to a comedy show, play, or movie, just letting yourself sink into some fun for no other reason that you want to, just let it happen. Make it happen. 

I refuse to believe we were put on this planet to slog from one hardship to another. We can't have been put on this planet to not enjoy it. We are not meant to simply 'get through things. 

There is nothing wrong with cutting loose, getting goofy, and just having fun for fun's sake. Shenanigans are a necessary part of a happy life. We were never meant to outgrow them, only to get better at them. Our shenanigans may not look the same all the time, different circumstances require different shenanigans. 

So, let go of your troubles, your stress, and any difficult things you happen to be dealing with, and dance/sing/laugh it out for a while. You're allowed.

Shenanigans are out there for the taking, for the making, for hell of it. Go for it. 

Well, my friends, I need to go rehearse for our show, and get my house ready to mildly traumatize the neighbourhood kids on Monday. 

What?! You have your shenanigans, I have mine! 

Greased Baby Elephants... Not Easy

 Hi!

So, my friends, I have a lot of plates in the air right now. As, I'm sure, a lot of you do. Being pulled in multiple directions, trying to balance things.

It feels, a lot of times, like balancing on a tightrope in heels, blindfolded, while carrying a greased baby elephant right below a massively explosive fireworks display, getting pelted by its shrapnel.

You get the picture. 

Because of this, I'm afraid, this week's ramblings will be short and sweet-ish.

Everybody deals with chaos in their own way. Some choose not to deal, and that can bite you in the butt in the long run. Personally, I tend to deal with stress by tapping into the creative part of myself. Baking, singing, writing, not necessarily in that order. With the addition of each ingredient, the hitting of each note, with every word put to the page, just a little of the mayhem begins to dissipate.

Find a way to set your elephant down. At least for a while. 

Well, I gotta run. 

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When you run, make sure it's in a direction heading toward what you actually want.

Make sure what you are working so hard to balance is worth the effort. 

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Talk to you soon!

A Work In Progress...

 

Hi!

Old stone against modern steel and glass. Innovative, creative art, and simple beauty both from nature and human talent. All of these in a walk encompassing one single city block.

Sometimes, really cool things that can bring smiles to a face that doesn't necessarily feel like smiling are only a few short steps beyond the day-to-day. 

Sometimes, in the midst of chaos, it's important to take a minute, walk a bit, and look around. If we don't take a moment every now and again to breathe, to let things go, stuff can pile up, weigh us down, and eventually become so heavy, we become unable to carry the burden. If we ignore the burden too long it can crush us. 

Our bodies tell us when it's time to let stuff go. All we have to do is listen. 

Stress shows itself in a ton of different ways. Headaches, stomach issues, sleeplessness, irritability, anxiety, the list is long, ugly, and different for almost everyone. 

What I am learning, or, I guess, trying to unlearn, is that our capacity to "suck it up," whatever it is, is not always a good thing. There are limits, and reaching those limits is NOT a sign of weakness, it's a sign of humanity. 

Weight.

Soooo, learning to breathe. Learning to actually look after ourselves, and not just do it on the surface, is harder than it seems. We think we are handling everything fine, we keep doing, we keep adding on to the load, because that is what we have always done.

More weight.

No matter what comes down the pike, we pick it up, look at it, receive it, and move on. Adding it to the ever-growing pile of stuff we carry. Even if we manage to solve whatever problem or issue that's in front of us, we then carry the consequence that stems from that, and then hold onto it because now we consider it ours, so everything that happens pertaining to it in the future, also becomes our responsibility. 

More weight.

As we keep going, forging a path through life, making decisions, good and bad, having things thrown at us that are completely outside of our control, using the tools that have both been given to, and created by us, we discover that some of our tools are faulty... even if they worked in the past, they don't work for us anymore. 

Some of those tools were handed down with the best of intentions, some created as a result of trauma, and some, most of them harbouring hidden malfunctions that weren't apparent from the beginning. Not all the tools are bad. They got us this far, after all, but some have been used far beyond their expiration date, and need to be retired. 

This is going to be different for everyone. If your toolbox is filled with things that still work for you in a healthy way, that's awesome. Just be sure to take them out and inspect them now and again to see if they are still providing the results they were meant to. 

Sometimes, some of the tools, simply become part of the load.

Even more weight.

So. Letting go. Breathing. Really taking care. These are the new tools I'm doing my best to learn to use, to keep. 

Lose the weight.

I think the hardest part of letting go, for me, is simply this. If I stop carrying all that needs carrying, if I put any of it down, who will have to pick it up?

A work in progress, to be sure. 

But, then again, aren't we all?

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May we all find a way to rid ourselves of the tools that no longer work for us, or maybe never really did.

Happy Gratitude Awareness Day!

 Hi!

Here in Canada, it's Thanksgiving weekend. 

It's a holiday that carries a heavy history, just like the holiday of the same name celebrated by our neighbours to the South. They celebrate a bit later, but it's the same idea. 

I don't really believe that the original idea of "Thanksgiving" is something that should be celebrated. To think we should celebrate this coming together for a bountiful and generous meal.  As if the Indigenous people of Canada had options. We weren't invited to their land. They were invaded and taken advantage of. They were victims of several attempts at genocide both physical and cultural. 

Yeah, so to celebrate the traditional thanksgiving doesn't sit within an open conscience very well.

I still think, on the other hand, that setting aside a day or weekend for gratitude awareness is awesome. So let's do that, shall we? Set this time aside to be grateful.

I, for one, am thankful for the steps taken toward healing and reconciliation, even if there are miles to go. No journey, difficult or otherwise, can have even the smallest of starts without at least a few steps. Hopefully, as we find our stride, much more ground will be covered with much larger and ever more meaningful steps. 

I'm thankful to live where I live. There are so many places around the world living through torturous turmoil. Never knowing from one day to the next if tomorrow will come for them or their loved ones. 

I'm thankful for my four safe walls, a sheltering roof, a warm place to sleep, and three squares a day. 

I'm thankful for my Mom, my brothers and my sister. We aren't able to get together often, but we don't need to to know we are always there if needed. They are goofy, sarcastic, funny, stubborn, and loyal, they are family.

I'm thankful for good friends. The kind who say yes without having to know the reason why. The kind that will tell you the truth if it needs to be heard, embrace your ability to be a bad influence when it's called for, the Monica to your Rachel, the Thelma to your Louise, minus the gross murdery stuff, oh, and the whole driving off a cliff thing.

I'm thankful for my loving husband, four daughters, two sons-in-law, and all of my grandbabies. They are my reason, and always will be. They are the best of everything I am. 

I'm thankful.

So gratitude awareness.

Let's take a minute to remind ourselves not to take who and what we have for granted. 

Big things, little things, tiny things, all of it.

The beautiful turn of the leaves, the crisp air, a hot cup of coffee, an eclectic, satisfying playlist, a good book, a fresh cinnamon bun, a bike ride, a walk, a warm hug, and the ability to enjoy all of it without giving any of it a second thought. 

So, have some turkey, or ham, or chicken, a peanut butter sandwich, or pizza, or whatever gets your taste buds excited, eat a slice of pumpkin pie, or apple, or a chunk of whatever dessert makes you smile. Get together with family and friends, or sit with a book in a tub of bubbly, candle-lit solitude. 

Everyone's situation is different, hell, every day is different. Some days it's easy to find things to be grateful for. On other days, it can feel nearly impossible. It's on the hard days that it matters most. It's easy to be grateful when things are good, when we are flooded with light. It's in the darkness, when we have to search for something to hold on to, that's when we have to dig a bit deeper. Even if it means finding a speck of something so small it can barely hold the weight, place your gratitude there, and watch it grow. 

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May you find something to hang your gratitude hat on. It's there, it just might take a bit of digging. 

A Couple Things...

 

Hi!

Over the past little bit, there has been a lot to process in the news.

A couple things...

Okay, sooooooo Putin goes into Ukraine, claims some land, forces people to "vote" in favour of his claims, then just declares, "Now these pieces of your Country are mine"? 

That can't be how it works... right?

I mean, by that logic, carjackings are legal, and armed robberies, muggings, anything... really. 

It's insane.

He's losing the war he started, so he's trying to upend the chess board and declare victory.

Sound familiar?

The Grand Q Cheeto has the same mindset. Sadly for him, the country he lives in is not yet corrupt enough for him to have succeeded in his coup. If he had recruited smarter people, he might have pulled it off. Hell, if he had an IQ higher than a piece of belly button lint, he might have pulled it off. 

Even with his cluster of idiot clowns, he managed to get closer than he ever should have. He and his minions continue to try. 

The only way to stop the trying is to have a complete, utter, and absolute gargantuan blue wave hit the states in November. 

I don't want that Putin wannabe, or any of his asshat henchmen, as the leader of our neighbours to the South. 

I don't understand wanting to drag your country backwards, as the rest of the world embraces the future. I don't understand wanting to pull back on equality. Wanting to deny what the planet is showing us in real time. It makes no sense.

Another thing...

Today, in Canada, it's our National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. It's a day set aside to learn and listen. It's a day to honour the grief forced upon the Indigenous people who were here when our great grandmas and grandpas got here. It's only the second one. Does it fix everything... or anything? I think, over time, as we listen to and honour the stories of the children and families who were and continue to be devastated by our judicial, education, and social systems, healing is possible. 

Truth... the learning of it, the listening to it, the acceptance of it, has to be honestly honoured first. Then, and only then, can the process of Reconciliation, and healing begin? 

We stepped into their world and claimed it. We were Putin, in that scenario. Hopefully, we can learn from our history, as to avoid its repetition. 

One more thing...

Answer me this... If Donald Trump is such a whiz at making money, why does he keep having to ask for handouts from the blue collars who support him? His party looks down their brown noses at any and all that need help, a hand up, monetary help to get them through, yet here he is, begging for spare change over and over and over again.

He has a decades-long reputation of not paying his bills, screwing over anyone and everyone he can. Always punching down because... of course he does. He never met a minority he didn't like to suppress or make fun of. He's gone bankrupt multiple times, never following the rules the rest of us are required to.

I think those days just might be coming to an end. 

It's looking more and more like there will be consequences. Some small, some fairly consequential. Will he get jail time? Who knows? Will he end up penniless, working as a Walmart greeter? One can only hope. Or, maybe just maybe, those who follow him will finally see that this particular Emporer is as naked as the bamboo's ass he is. 

One can only hope...

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Until next time...

May all in pain from scars, new and old, find a path to healing, a path to peace.

May we wrap our arms around those weathering storms, physical and emotional, bringing ease.

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All The Leaves Are Brown... And Gold... And Red...

 

Hi!

The start of a new season... and my favourite one at that!

As we fall into Autumn, as we step into the pumpkin spice, apple-picking, corn maze, no bugs, leaf-piling, as we take walks in the crisp air, feeling the need for a bit of a jacket, as we do all of this, let's take notice and be grateful for the privilege it is to be able to enjoy it.

Time slips by so fast, especially when we aren't taking the time to pay attention. 

So many around the world are living through what I'm sure feels like an endless nightmare right now.

The people of Ukraine, the reasonable citizens of Russia, the people of Iran, and the poor immigrants who were trafficked across state lines fuelled by the bad judgment, bigotry, and cold cruelty of a powerful, twisted few. 

There are so many who have been stripped of the privilege of walking amongst the beauty we, too often, take for granted. Let's not. 

I know it's become  cliche, but we really don't know what others are going through. We don't know their struggles, their dreams, what kind, or how deep their scars. So let's be kind to the people at the other end of the cash register. Let's show a little patience, a little compassion to everyone we encounter. 

We're all just doing our best with the tools we have at our disposal. The tools become more plentiful, stronger, more sophisticated, and more powerful as we grow and gain experience, but there isn't a person alive who has a full set that can handle all things, without issue. 

Back to basics. Don't hurt anyone on purpose. That's it. It's not complicated. 

Don't yell at people, don't scream at people, don't stop kids from playing in the park, don't get mad if you have to wait for fast food, don't throw a fit if someone makes a mistake, don't have a cow when you find people parking on a public street, even if it's on the street where you live. Let the kids skateboard, let sidewalk chalk, barbeques, and lemonade stands just happen. In other words, don't be a karen. Karening is a trend that has lived long past its expiry date. It's time for it to go away. 

Instead of trying to provoke the worst from each other, let's try to polish the shine in each other. Let's go back to making each other laugh, making each other smile. 

Let's quit wondering why people in the service industry aren't exactly jumping up and down to take abuse for minimum wage. It's not complicated. 

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Now, you'll have to excuse me, I hear some leaves calling my name...

May we really take in the beauty around us. It passes quickly, which makes it all the more precious. 

Iconic Majesty... For...Against... A Historic Passage...

Hi!

Although I've never really been a big Royal enthusiast, I have had a curiosity.

On one side, the whole idea of a "Royal Family" seems very old-fashioned. Propping up an elite ideal for a purpose that is kind of mystifying. I remain unclear about what they actually do. I know they travel, host dignitaries, participate in a lot of pomp and circumstance, follow a lot of rules that, in this day and age, seem downright archaic, and wave... a lot. 

They define the word "colonizer" very literally, muddying up anything good they may have done since. Although they remain a Sovereign entity in name only, for the most part, they remain revered in many countries. 

A twist on Stockholm syndrome? Or is it simply a way to reconcile with the past and move on? I'm not sure.

On the other side, some have a real distaste for what the Royal family represents, in the past, in the present, and moving forward. They resent this ultra-privileged tiny group of people living a jet-setting life, on the taxpayers' dime. Regular people struggling to make ends meet have to watch their hard-earned money to support a basically ancient concept. 

I think we love the idea of a real-life fairytale. Real kings, queens, princes, and princesses. The grandeur, the fantasy. But in all practicality, all those homes, the castles, the space, the land, would, if put to a different use, could solve a big chunk, if not the entire homelessness problem in England. 

I, for one, am torn. 

I love the fairytale. The writer in me loves the romance of it all. 

The practical wife, Mom and Grandma in me feels it's ridiculous for so few to live in spaces that could so easily house so many vulnerable people who need it so desperately. 

That being said, Queen Elizabeth II, had the weight of the crown thrust upon her head at an age that most kids now, are struggling to find the wherewithal to adjust to adulthood. She didn't ask for it. She had no control over the circumstances of her birth any more than any of us.

We play the cards we are dealt. 

Some get a royal flush, others dealt a complete hand of jokers. Equal but different, it all depends on the game you choose to play. 

We are at the cusp of another change of season. The incredible colours are again prominent, giving us the heads up of what's to come. 

We know what's in store will likely hold a resemblance to the past, but will bring new adventure, as well. 

We all need to carry the weight of whatever crown we are given. We do, though, get to choose what that looks like. Life is going to happen, regardless of our level of worry. I refuse to believe that we are on this earth to take everything seriously. Life is good, life can be hard, life is a series of unplanned adventures, with bits of on purpose in between. We might as well have as much fun as possible along the way. 

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Until next time...

May the majesty of the season not be lost in the day-to-day.

May we take a minute to appreciate the beauty of what's right in front of us, it's a true display.

May we find a way to live life lighter, not allowing the weight of our crowns to impede our delight.

May we give ourselves permission to let things go, laugh more, play more, flip the dark to light. 

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Last Wedding Of The Summer....

 

Hi! 

Well, that's a wrap! (At least for this summer)

We had the honour of providing the music for one last wedding of the summer this Labour Day weekend.

Special moments shared in an incredible, historic venue.

You know, we've been DJing, and putting on karaoke shows for about 23 years now, and weddings remain my favourite event. Two families, shared friends, childhood friends, and brand new friends collide, creating magic.

As we observe from our little corner of the space, the love and support aimed directly at the new couple, the clinking of glasses to prompt a kiss, the first dances, the little ones chasing the lights as they too dance across the floor, the hugs, the laughter, the absolute pure joy, we get to witness humanity in a way that really matters. 

Yes, there can be tension, as everyone wants their wedding to be perfect. Some stress out over this more than others, but it's something that simmers as all the planning, all the preparation, all the decisions about the special day are being made. That stress can sometimes, bleed into the day itself.

The execution of the vision.

As an objective observer of more weddings than I can count over the past 20 some odd years, I've come to understand a few things.

If you'll indulge me, I'd like to share a few of these things in the hopes to relieve some future couples and their parent-type people of a few grey hairs. 

Ready? Here goes.

The music used during your ceremony only needs to mean something to you... the couple getting married. There is no such thing as right or wrong music. Five minutes after the ceremony is over, the odds of your guests remembering what songs were chosen are slim to none. Very few people really care. Your guests are there for you, to watch you exchange vows that are meaningful to you, to bear witness to your commitment. 

When you stress over centerpieces, flowers, and decorations, please keep in mind that your guests will remember how the room made them feel much more than they remember the specific decor. Whether it's a dollar store candle sitting on 50 cents worth of glittery confetti or an elaborate 4 ft vase filled with imported flowers and diamonds, the vibe of the room is what sticks. 

To save yourself a ton of panic, just know that things will not go according to plan. At least not everything. And that's okay. In fact, it's awesome. I've seen some of the most special moments, the most precious moments happen when things go "wrong." Those are the things that create the best memories, the best stories. 

Make sure you are planning the wedding you really want, within the budget you have. Overspending on a wedding does not guarantee a successful marriage. We've all seen it happen. It's not about how much you spend, it's about making sure you and your guests have a great time. A great time doesn't always have to cost an arm and a leg. 

Wedding traditions Shmedding traditions! Throw the bouquet... or don't. Toss the garter... or don't. Have a cake... or don't. Have toasts... or don't. Have a bridal party... or don't. I think you get what I'm getting at. Don't get caught up in what you think is expected. 

Don't send an invitation to anyone who would be surprised to get one. If we get invited to a wedding, and my first thought is, why are they inviting us? We shouldn't have received one. Trim your guest list, accordingly. No law says you have to have a big wedding just for the sake of having a big wedding. 

And finally? Allow yourself to enjoy your day. Be present in it. It passes in a blink. What's going to happen will happen whether you stress about it or not. The people present are there to celebrate you. Let them. 

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Well, I hate to write and run, But I'm getting ready for a visit with my mom. A few days of spending time with a pretty dang important person. 

See ya next time. 

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May every newly married couple understand that they have just created an incredible team.

May they see that through life's shit storms, it has to be a given that on each other you can lean.

May you understand that marriage in real life is nothing like in the movies or on tv.

May you understand that your spouse will, and at times, simultaneously, make you smile and make you seethe. 

May you fully understand to have a good partner, you need to be one.

May you find a way, even when it's dark, even when it feels impossible, to have fun.

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Equality For All Oppreses No One...

Hi!

The top image is something that has been making its way around social media. I saw it. I read it. I understood why it is circulating. I know from experience, like pretty much every female on the planet, the importance of it. It also sits on my soul like an infected lesion.

When and where exactly do we live? Why are we still having to walk around like we live in a post-apocalyptic war zone?!

So I fixed it. My remedy, the bottom image. 

I recently had the pleasure of chatting with some back-to-school kids. The subject of clothes, what's allowed and what isn't, came up.

What I quickly discovered, are the lopsided rules when it comes to what female students are, and are not permitted to wear, compared to the free reign the males seem to have by comparison. Still. In 2022!

Please tell me when the females on this planet will cease to be responsible for males' attitudes and actions. 

Please tell me at what point we stop forcing females to curb their behavior and start making males control theirs? 

I mean, it's really not hard. Our demands are simple. There really is only one.

Don't hurt us. 

Predatory behavior needs to be treated like what it is. Poison.

Predatory behavior needs to be called out. Every. Single. Time.

It's not funny. It's not cute. The wink wink nod nod bullshit needs to stop.

We felt the need to teach our daughters to physically defend themselves. And, it's a good thing we did, because every one of them has had to use those skills at least a few times. 

Not just once.

I've had to. 

Every female I know over the age of 13 has had to either physically defend themselves, or use evading tactics to get themselves out of sketchy situations.

The women reading this will know what that means. 

Laughing something off even though it makes your stomach turn.

Being friendly when everything in you wants to be anything but.

Maneuvering around a crowded space, shrinking yourself as small as possible, as to not draw unwanted attention.

Answering 'greetings' from slimy douchebags, as to not trigger said douche into escalating the situation into something that becomes dangerous. 

Having to befriend groups of safe-looking strangers, as not to have to deal with the guy following you. 

Covering up our bodies whether we want to or not, because we are somehow responsible for grown men's lack of self-control. 

I can't even put into words how pissed off I am that my granddaughters and nieces are still having to deal with this crap.

Why have men not evolved past this neanderthal bullshit?

Why? Because they have not been required to do so.

Well, the time is long past due. And it's not the responsibility of women to make it happen. At least not directly.

Mothers... teach your sons. Teach them how to have healthy, partnerships with women. Equal relationships. Teach them boundaries.

Fathers... teach your sons. First, unlearn all of the crap definitions of manhood that have enveloped you your whole life, then teach those lessons. Every time you get the urge to wink wink nod nod, stop it. Be aware of it, and stop it. Read some books, take some classes, talk to women about this, do your homework, and evolve. And then... call out predatory behavior... always.

Mothers... teach your daughters. Teach them to take up space. Teach them to wear what makes them light up. Teach them that is never their job to make themselves smaller or less than to appease a male ego. Teach them to be everything they want to be, never compromising their shine because a boy can't handle it. Teach them to be their brilliant, caring, loud selves.

Fathers... teach your daughters that boundaries are theirs to make, and theirs alone. Teach them what respect looks like. Teach them how to never settle. Teach them that they are the ones who decide if, when, and how they have sex. Teach them that pressure is not foreplay. Be the kind of man you would wish upon your daughters. Be the kind of man you want your son to become. 

Regardless of sex or gender teaching basic human respect for all people is parenting 101.

Do it. 

Teach kindness instead of competition. Teach them that lifting others up does not diminish them. Equality for all oppresses no one. 

I for one am tired, and I simply refuse to accept crap behavior from men for one more day.

I'm done. 

I thank the universe every single day that I found and married one of the good ones. 

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May we finally be allowed to quit looking over our shoulders.

May we finally be able to let down our guard, breathe, be free.

May every predator be put in his place every single time his urges bubble to the surface.

May my granddaughters not have to walk with their keys between their fingers.

 

Not Every Child Has Someone Who Is Finding It Hard To Let Them Go...

 

Hi! 

So, this is what it looks like to be excited to go back to school.

She's six. She's going into grade one. She got a brand new pencil case, a fresh haircut, and a new outfit. 

She's the youngest of our grandbabies.

So many will be sending their firstborn babies into the big world of education within the next week or so, and it's hard.

So many will be sending their youngest off to a world where, for the first time, they will be at the mercy of virtual strangers, and it's hard. 

So many will be sending their offspring off to university/college very soon, if they haven't left already, and it's hard. 

So many will be sending their littles off to daycare for the first time, and it's hard.

It's supposed to be. 

If it's not, check your connections. You might find you need to reboot a thing or two.

So many things about parenting are hard. 

When they are babies, we obsess over every detail of their every bodily function. Is everything happening often enough? Too often? Is their pee too yellow, not yellow, is there enough of it? Same with their poop! 

Are we feeding them too much, or not enough? When should we introduce solid food, what should it be? Do we give them eggs? Meat? Peanut butter? There are soooooo many opinions! 

Then, they get sick for the first time. Do they need to go to the doctor? The hospital? Are we just being paranoid? Should I give them some over-the-counter medicine? What kind? Is it safe? Should I ask? Who should I ask?

Then comes daycare, elementary school, middle school high school, and then their choices become completely their own. We no longer get a vote. 

 

And, that is when everything goes as close to plan as possible. The thing is, nothing ever does.

And that's okay. 

Nobody gets through life without any scars. Yes, we try to protect them from the big things, the things that can be life-altering in the worst possible ways. We try to teach them to be kind, to be generous, to do the right thing, especially when it's hard.

We quickly discover that our real job as parents is to show up. To be far enough away to allow decisions to happen, but always close enough to catch them when they fall. This exercise is very literal in the beginning, becoming more and more metaphorical as they grow. We try to teach by example how to get back up when life throws you to the ground. We try to teach them to be a good friend without becoming a doormat. We try to show them how to care for themselves. We teach them that most bad decisions aren't fatal. You can recover. It might not be pretty, it might hurt, but you can.

We try to teach them to give of themselves without losing themselves.

Are there times when they drive us crazy? Of course!

Are there times we question every single parenting decision we've made? Of course!

Are there times we feel more like the manager of a team of drunk, hyper, pissed-off badgers than an actual parent? Of course!

Are there times we wouldn't trade for anything? Absolutely! Those are what we hold closest when we reminisce, they outshine the hard things a million times over. 

Not every child has someone who is finding it hard to let them go.

Every child should.

There are little ones living in chaos, in violence, in neglect.

There are kids who are living in foster care, feeling shuffled.

There are kids aging out of foster care, with no one to help them navigate what comes next. 

It's impossible to dream if you are too busy just surviving.

We have options. 

We can look away and pretend we don't know this, don't see this, we aren't aware.

Or....

We can help. In big ways, in small ways. We can do it anonymously, or through big gestures. We can reverse porch pirate where we know there is a need. We can donate to shelters. We can give our time and money to charities that support at-risk youth. 

We can help. 

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May you smile at everyone you meet, you never know the lift it may bring.

May you help give someone the gift of space to dream, to dance, to sing. 

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His Veil Of Protection Grows Rice Paper Thin...

 Hi!

Well, it looks like Karma's bad side just might be taking up residence on the shoulders of the guy who thought he could shoot somebody on 5th Ave and get away with it. 

To be fair, I guess he said he could do it without losing support from the people he fleeces of their hard-earned money, and, I mean, he hasn't lost all of them, but the shots of his 'rallies', are looking more and more like a dive bar at closing time on a Tuesday, but there are those that are still attending. 

His crown of victimhood is slipping. The truth is a stubborn thing, and always, even if it takes a while, demands to be heard, recognized, and accepted. It doesn't matter how hard he stamps his feet, how many names he calls people, how loud he cries his 'oh poor me,' how many threats he makes, the truth is getting deeper, denser, and will, inevitably, overtake his rhetoric. 

Investigations of this magnitude can't happen without evidence, and a lot of it. It wouldn't get past the first judge, grand juries would not be able to be assembled, and warrants could not be obtained. 

It's only a matter of time now. 

Prosecutors, in all of these investigations, are being very careful to dot every i and cross every t, making sure they have everything before moving forward. 

In the meantime, the grand orange buffoon can't seem to help himself. He can't seem to take advantage of his right to remain silent, and in doing so, is NOT helping his case, or, I guess, cases, plural. 

He keeps demanding things be made public, like that's going to make him look BETTER. He sends not-so-veiled threats to the DOJ, like that's going to help.

He implies that if the law holds him accountable there will be harsh consequences. Well, maybe if he would just tell the people that believe his crap the truth, come clean, and just stop criming, that would go a long way in calming people down. Lowering the temperature, so to speak. 

He wants to expose witnesses, and law enforcement so that his violent followers can cause harm.

Whatever happened to backing the blue? 

He knows he's done. He has to. He doesn't know what will hit first, the civil case in New York, the case in Georgia, or his Espionage and related charges. Maybe they will all crash down on him at once.

It's going to be the epic takedown of a narcissistic, misogynistic, wannabe tough guy that has spent his entire adult life abusing others without consequence, and I am here for it. I'm here for all of it. 

It's been a long old climb, and it's not over yet.

But, I for one, see storms over the horizon for pathetic Donnie, and his veil of protection grows rice paper thin. 

As the walls close in on those who deserve it most, life goes on.

Ukraine is still fighting for her life.

Mother Nature is still flexing her power.

People are still dying of Covid.

Little ones are getting excited about the new school year.

Grown-ups are getting excited about the new school year.

Babies are taking their first steps, and speaking their first words.

Sunsets are still breathtaking.

Most people are still kind and good. 

Joy and laughter are still there for the taking. 

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May you get excited.

May you feel real joy.

May you give yourself permission to have fun.

May you see that life doesn't always need to be serious. 

May you set aside the heaviness, and allow the light to touch your soul. 

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