The Truth Is Also This...

Hi!


First point. Being a kid is hard. There is an overwhelming amount of information to process, things to discover, lessons to learn, tools to develop.


Second point. We are all kids.



One of the toughest phases of humanhood is the one that drags us through the teenage years.


Some sail through, others feel as though they are being dragged naked, feet first, and spread-eagle through a carpet of poisonous cacti.


There are so many cliches out there, so many inspirational quotes, so many phrases lifted from textbooks put forth with the best of intentions. Although most, if not all, hold truth and help a ton of people, I find myself unable to simply spew well-intentioned platitudes.


If you are filled with so much pain that you find yourself cutting as a release, or have come to believe that it's all too much, and the only way out is suicide, platitudes, and cliches just become more noise.


Please hear me.


There are no magic words to make your pain go away. You aren't going to find real relief at the bottom of a bottle of booze or in a needle, or a bong. The answers don't live on the edge of a razor blade.

The truth is, there are so many things that make you feel shitty.

Maybe it's other kids. They want you to feel hated for not being tall enough, short enough, small enough, big enough, rich enough, poor enough, wearing expensive enough, wearing cheap enough, smart enough, pretty enough, jock enough, enough, enough, enough...


Maybe it's the adults in your life. Your marks aren't good enough, you're not respectful enough, not popular enough, don't clean your room enough, enough, enough...

Maybe it's both, maybe it's all.


The truth is also this.

When you cut, drink, or otherwise try to disappear, all you are doing is punishing yourself further for the fictional transgressions others have forced upon you.

Throughout your life, you will encounter again and again people who feel the need to make you feel smaller. Those who will try to shrink who you are. Don't help them.

You will find your people. The people that get you. The people that embrace and love you for, not in spite of, your specific brand of weird. They may not attend your school or even live in your house, but they are out there waiting for you. Don't deprive yourself of an incredible life because of a group of adolescent asshats who, at this moment in time, are completely incapable of empathy, or a family that, at least at this moment, doesn't fit.


This hollow darkness that wants to consume you is not infinite. It has a shelf life. It has edges. It's not some mystical thing. It has causes, effects, and resolutions.


This is also true.

Life is hard. It's okay to ask for help and okay to accept it. Help looks different for everyone.



For those who seem to live carrying out a mission of hate...


Just know this...


We all know the real reasons for your behavior. You vomit insults to make yourself feel more than, bigger than, better than.

We all know the only reason people do this. Fear.

Fear of people finding out you aren't really the person you portray. Fear that people will see the insecurities that lurk behind and beneath your insults. The fear of the fact that your persona doesn't even come close to matching who you really are, and this will come to light. If you keep the light on those you can get others to see as "less than," you can keep it off of you.

You don't need to step on others to lift yourself.

Life is hard. It's okay to ask for help and okay to accept it. Help looks different for everyone.



Life leaves scars. Some left by others, some self-inflicted. Scars don't make us victims, they make us warriors.


We are all more than worthy of a fantastic life. A life that fits who we are, and who we want to be. It's there for the making, it's there for the taking, in spite of the asshats of the world.




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May you, if not in this minute, soon, see yourself as the unicorn you are.
May you see, if you just let yourself, that at your core, you're a star.

May you know that you are the one who writes the script of your life's odyssey.
May you understand that you, the author, decide where the spotlight lingers, do so with honesty.

May you see the asshats that cross your path for the broken humans they truly are.
May you see through the bravado and witness the fear, they don't deserve your power, after all, you're the star.



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www.margyreidbooks.com

The Angel With The Devilish Grin....

Hi,




Today, it's with a heavy heart I write.


The world will be a bit duller now, as this bright light leaves.

She leaves behind a loving husband, kids, grandkids, siblings, sibs-in-law, and nieces and nephews who now carry the heaviness of grief.


Her smile was always genuine, her laugh, contagious, and her hugs, explicitly real.


Although I didn't see her often, especially once I left home, she had a profound impact on who I've become.

It isn't something either she nor my uncle would likely remember, as it wasn't anything that was blatantly said or done. I wish I would have thanked her in person, I hope she's hearing me now.


Thirty plus years ago, I was pregnant with our second child, my now husband and I were not yet married and scratching to keep flesh and bone together. Directly and indirectly, intentionally and unintentionally things were strained with my parents. They were hurt and disappointed in me and the choices I was making.  It felt like I was looked at differently, treated differently, not cruel or obvious, just 'less than'.

During this time, through my husband's job, we were presented with the impromptu opportunity to stop in and visit this particular Auntie and Uncle. From the second we crossed the threshold, I felt it.
The utter 'sameness.'  There it was, the big grin and even bigger hug.

We visited, we ate, we laughed. They had no idea, but that night, through their 'sameness.' they gave me permission to be happy, to be okay with where my life was headed and the profound understanding that none of it made me 'less than.'


Her ever-genuine smile and absolute hugs had the power to heal more than she would ever understand.

Time has healed wounds and relationships, as time tends to do, but the first steps of that healing began with a hug from you.

Thank you, Auntie Carole, for your generous heart, beautiful soul, devilish grin and your tendency toward just enough mischief to keep life interesting.



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I know your hearts are broken, shattered at the thought of containing this loss. I wish I could find the words that could magically lighten the load. Until such a time, just know, if you need, we are here. All of us. Arms open, shoulders ready.


****************************************************************


Until next time...

May you love each other through this murky fog of grief.
May you know we are there for whatever you need, however long, however brief.

May you take the time you need to cry, to swear, to rail against the utterly unfair.
May you understand there are no rules for grieving, no timekeeper, just take care.

May you, on the other side of this, find a way for the healing to begin.
May you do so in loving memory of this Angel with the devilish grin.


****************************************************************

www.margyreidbooks.com

Freedom By Any Other Name....

Hi!


This weekend will mark a day in our Country that we have named "Remembrance Day." Other Countries have other names for it, but for all, it's an opportunity to take a day to honour those who sacrificed everything to afford us the freedoms we live every day to celebrate.


Freedom.


Defined as the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants. The absence of subjection to foreign domination.


I would further define it as the power to determine our own fate, without the hindrance or suppression of others whilst not hindering or suppressing the fate of another.


In other words, I have the freedom to act, speak and think as I wish, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.

Pretty basic stuff.


Why does something that should be so fundamental require such sacrifice to hold on to?


Why are people of colour still having to fight so hard for things that they should, at this point, be taking completely for granted? Things like having bar-b-ques, studying, driving, walking, voting, or standing in their living room.

Why are indigenous people still having to fight so hard to protect their culture? We came in, told them their culture made them savages and proceeded to force our way of thinking upon them. Then we have the audacity to wonder why generations of First Nations people struggle.


Why do we treat freedom as though it is a possession that should only live in the hands of a very lucky few? Why do we treat freedom as though it is a finite resource? As though if the proverbial "they" acquire more freedom, ours will somehow diminish.


As I'm writing this, I am listening to a sheriff in California answer questions about yet another mass shooting. Another person has justified his actions by convincing himself of the fact that his right and freedom to have and shoot a gun somehow trumps the right and freedom of those he shot at, wounded, and killed. Those who had and have the right and freedom to live unencumbered, the right and freedom to not be victimized. More people have been senselessly killed, more thoughts and prayers will be tossed around like paper towel after a hurricane, and likely, nothing substantial will happen to help prevent this from happening again next week.

Freedom isn't freedom when lived in fear.


Are these the freedoms our militaries have sacrificed their lives for? Are these the freedoms they continue to put their lives on the line for? How is this honouring their memories?

You can host a million ceremonies, have every pomp and circumstance, it means nothing if the freedoms they sacrificed for are they themselves sacrificed.


To determine our own fate without the hindrance or suppression of others whilst not hindering or suppressing the fate of another.


Pretty simple stuff.

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For those who have fought tirelessly for our freedoms, for those who sacrificed the beat of your own heart so ours can carry on, my hope is that we will eventually honour you in a way that really matters.

We have to do better at proving ourselves worthy of your sacrifice.

****************************************************************


Until next time...


May we, this time, take real action to prove we deserve your sacrifice.
May the missed hugs and kisses not be in vain, for our freedom you've paid the ultimate price.

May this go far beyond the well-intentioned, feckless thoughts and prayers.
May this be the one that effects change, be the last one, the buck stops at the biggest chair.



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www.margyreidbooks.com

All We Need To Do Is Go For A Drive...

Hi!




All we need to do is go for a bit of a drive, take in some scenery, and listen to a few people we don't really know.




These are three little things that can show us a lot.


Going for a drive...


I find that taking even a short road trip down an unfamiliar road has a way of adjusting perspective. Taking a bit of a trip absorbing the view others see every day, a way of figuratively and literally broadening a horizon. Making an effort to see the world from someone else's point of view is always worth the trip. Not everyone has the means to travel the world, but we all have the ability to really take in the part of it in which we live.


Taking in some scenery...


It's pretty amazing how the landscape can change in a matter of a few miles. One moment you can barely see the horizon for the trees, in another, you can see for miles, in yet another you are surrounded by lights, heading down a freeway. Somehow, when looking up you are instantly reminded of what connects all of it. We may live separately, encompassed by our unique landscapes, but we share the sky. We wish upon the same stars, see shapes in the same clouds,  get romanced by the same moon, warmed by the same sun.  No one person's position under that sun of more value than another.


Listening to a few people...


In this digital age, there is definitely no lack of voices. There are loud blustering boomers who do their best to demand attention, that get petulant when the spotlight has the audacity to land anywhere but squarely upon their shoulders. On the other end of the spectrum, there are those with no voice at all. Their fates lie in the hands of the blusterers, afraid of the spotlight because they inherently know that attention leads to heartache. If we take the time to connect and truly listen to a few of these voices, both the whispers and the booms, we can hear what lives beneath the surface of the words.  Fear. The difference? Blustering boomers lack the courage of the voiceless. Boomers rise stepping on the souls of the voiceless. The voiceless rise by lifting others upon their shoulders.



Give a voice to the voiceless. Help them be less afraid of the light. Show the blusterers that we won't stand idly by as they step upon the souls of those who can only whisper.


No one person's position under the sun holds more value than that of another.


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Thank you for taking the time to read these ramblings. Each week, a new country or two pops up on my "Top Ten Countries Reading This Week" list. Each week I have to remind myself that this is, indeed, real. Thank you.



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Our neighbours to the south are making some big decisions on Tuesday.

For them...

May you vote, vote for the values, vote for the character, vote for conscience.
May you vote for the truth speakers, not those who spout fear-mongering nonsense.

May you vote, for your voice matters, it makes a difference, many whispers become a booming choir.
May you vote for those who live in fact, free from the thumbprint of a perpetual liar.

May you vote.
May you vote.



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And let the trolling commence....



www.margyreidbooks.com   

Happy Halloween

Hi!


'Tis the season for costumes treats, and straight up shenanigans.



Something awesome happens when people put on costumes. It's like in doing so, they give themselves permission to be less inhibited, their "give a crap" takes a small vacation.


The creativity, humour, and social observations that we get to see when we do Halloween shows never ceases to amaze.

I look forward to it every year!

This year is no different but for the fact that we get to do it twice!

Actual Halloween falls on Wednesday, so the bookend weekends are both fair game.

This weekend will involve a tradeshow followed by a Halloween party wherein we will get to hang out with family, friends, and music. Next weekend we put on our Karaoke host hats along with, as of yet, unknown costumes and do a show followed by a tradeshow the next day!

It's going to be busy, but a blast!


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Sooooooooooooooo


Today they arrested a guy for making and mailing homemade bombs to people the President has made clear he does not like. People he sees as "enemies."

He may not have given specific instructions to this obviously disturbed individual, or make and mail them himself, but to claim absolutely no responsibility? I don't know about that one.


As you know we have four daughters, all of whom are very talented, kind and awesome, each in their own way. One daughter is significantly gifted with the particular talents of persuasion and manipulation. These skills became obvious by the time she could speak in full sentences. She could talk people into doing things they didn't even know they were being talked into doing. She could manipulate situations to suit her desired outcome without a whole lot of effort.

The art of subliminal negotiation.

As she was growing up, we had many chats along the way about how just because you can, doesn't mean you should, and to be sure to use this specific superpower for good and not evil.

Thankfully, she has a big, warm heart, and understood.

Does that mean she didn't hold some responsibility for the things others did because of her superpowers of subliminal messaging?  Of course, she did.

Does the President? I would hope so.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.



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May your treats be sweet and your tricks few.
May your costume leave all in utter awe of you.

May you take the opportunity to let your hair down, blow off some steam.
May you have fun with the fact that, for this moment, you are not what you seem.

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www.margyreidbooks.com

Gotta Nurture The Goofy...

Hi!


Well, I came back from my news vacation. For a day. For a very bad day.



The gruesome details of Mr. Khashoggi's murder were enough for me to extend it a bit longer.


Please don't assume it's because I don't care, or want to bury my head in the sand. Because it's not.


At this point, it's about emotional survival. The daily bombardment of corruption, violence, hate and the ever-expanding umbrella of cruelty under which we seem to be willing to live is beginning to drain my goofy.

I can't let that happen.

I'm now on a mission to replenish what's been drained, then nurture my goofy not only back to health, but grow it and share it with as many as I can. For as long as I can.

I can't promise that I won't still vent about things I can't shake off, things that grab me and/or piss me off. I'm just saying that, for now, I need to brighten it up for a bit. Too much darkness isn't good for anyone. 


It's Tradeshow season!!!


It still feels pretty surreal at times, that this is what I get to do. Meeting folks, and having them be willing to spend their hard earned money on words I've written is pretty incredible.

At these events, I sometimes get to meet those who are sitting at the edge of their own dreams. At times they are looking for advice, at times they are looking for encouragement, at times they are looking for some form of permission. Mostly though, I find they are looking for someone to listen, and hear them out without judgment.

Although a certain amount of common sense caution should accompany every dream, for the most part, all that stands between dream and reality is hard work, and the willingness to do it, obliterating any notion of comfort zones.

I'm pretty damn lucky.


Attending these events, getting to meet and hang out with so many shiny people, goes a long way to nurturing a person's goofy.


I highly recommend hanging out with the shiny people.


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Well, gotta run, prepping for the show in Prince Albert tomorrow!



May you have ample opportunity to hang out with the shiny people, they are good for the soul.
May you allow yourself to look away from the trainwreck, for, over time, trainwrecks take a toll.

May you nurture your goofy, let it grow, let it shine.
May you embrace it, carry it always, let it out to play from time to time.

May you see that life is too short to take too seriously every single day.
May you give yourself permission, you still care, you just need a break from the weight.


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www.margyreidbooks.com

I Allowed My World To Shrink For A Little While....

Hi,




This is the view, right now, in this part of the world.



The serenity is in deep contrast with the images coming from other places that have been recently ravaged by Mother Nature.


I can't even imagine the level of devastation that has become your lives. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this, and hope that everything that was lost is replaceable. My hope of hopes is that everything that truly matters survived.

Coming back from this must seem like an impossible task. Rebuilding, an overwhelming undertaking. Hopefully, you receive more help than you can possibly use, and are somehow able to get back your normal soon.

Take Care

********************************************************************

Well folks, other than keeping an eye on some international weather, I've been trying to take a bit of a news holiday over the past week.

I allowed my world to shrink for a little while. It felt awesome. I highly recommend it.

Yup, had our girls and their munchkins under my roof for some food, laughs and catching up. Had a date night with my incredible hubby, took in some autumn air, watched some football and tried out a new theatre.

A week without drama, without witnessing human's inhumanity toward human, without polls or international trade deals.

Instead, I glazed and baked a ham, built castles out of lego, and chased grandbabies around my house. I watched my daughters prank each other, lingered around the dining table, and laughed until I cried.

Sometimes it's good to let your world shrink a little, even if it's only for a short while.


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Soooooo, I haven't shared a grandbaby story for a while,....


So, our 6 yr old grandson, Jake, was hanging out with his Grandpa at the shop, one day. A busy day of smashing boxes, drawing pictures, and learning about tools. As most days with Grandpa, there are some ice cream breaks involved. One such break had already taken place.

Jake's conversation with Grandpa.

G:  Well, time to shut things down and go home.
J:  I think we should go for ice cream first.
G:  It's getting pretty close to supper time, besides, I don't think I can do ice cream again today.
J:  If I can do it, you can do it Grandpa, get your money out!


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May you give yourself permission to allow your world to shrink, even if only for a short while.
May you let the bigger issues of the world go on without you for a bit, relax, breathe, smile.

May you feel your world brighten as what sits closest to you shines.
May you see the trees for the forest, spot the daisies among the pines.

May you take the time for an ice cream break, maybe more than one.
May you let the world fall away for a bit, pour a glass, have some fun.

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www.margyreidbooks.com