A Couple Things...

 

Hi!

Over the past little bit, there has been a lot to process in the news.

A couple things...

Okay, sooooooo Putin goes into Ukraine, claims some land, forces people to "vote" in favour of his claims, then just declares, "Now these pieces of your Country are mine"? 

That can't be how it works... right?

I mean, by that logic, carjackings are legal, and armed robberies, muggings, anything... really. 

It's insane.

He's losing the war he started, so he's trying to upend the chess board and declare victory.

Sound familiar?

The Grand Q Cheeto has the same mindset. Sadly for him, the country he lives in is not yet corrupt enough for him to have succeeded in his coup. If he had recruited smarter people, he might have pulled it off. Hell, if he had an IQ higher than a piece of belly button lint, he might have pulled it off. 

Even with his cluster of idiot clowns, he managed to get closer than he ever should have. He and his minions continue to try. 

The only way to stop the trying is to have a complete, utter, and absolute gargantuan blue wave hit the states in November. 

I don't want that Putin wannabe, or any of his asshat henchmen, as the leader of our neighbours to the South. 

I don't understand wanting to drag your country backwards, as the rest of the world embraces the future. I don't understand wanting to pull back on equality. Wanting to deny what the planet is showing us in real time. It makes no sense.

Another thing...

Today, in Canada, it's our National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. It's a day set aside to learn and listen. It's a day to honour the grief forced upon the Indigenous people who were here when our great grandmas and grandpas got here. It's only the second one. Does it fix everything... or anything? I think, over time, as we listen to and honour the stories of the children and families who were and continue to be devastated by our judicial, education, and social systems, healing is possible. 

Truth... the learning of it, the listening to it, the acceptance of it, has to be honestly honoured first. Then, and only then, can the process of Reconciliation, and healing begin? 

We stepped into their world and claimed it. We were Putin, in that scenario. Hopefully, we can learn from our history, as to avoid its repetition. 

One more thing...

Answer me this... If Donald Trump is such a whiz at making money, why does he keep having to ask for handouts from the blue collars who support him? His party looks down their brown noses at any and all that need help, a hand up, monetary help to get them through, yet here he is, begging for spare change over and over and over again.

He has a decades-long reputation of not paying his bills, screwing over anyone and everyone he can. Always punching down because... of course he does. He never met a minority he didn't like to suppress or make fun of. He's gone bankrupt multiple times, never following the rules the rest of us are required to.

I think those days just might be coming to an end. 

It's looking more and more like there will be consequences. Some small, some fairly consequential. Will he get jail time? Who knows? Will he end up penniless, working as a Walmart greeter? One can only hope. Or, maybe just maybe, those who follow him will finally see that this particular Emporer is as naked as the bamboo's ass he is. 

One can only hope...

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Until next time...

May all in pain from scars, new and old, find a path to healing, a path to peace.

May we wrap our arms around those weathering storms, physical and emotional, bringing ease.

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All The Leaves Are Brown... And Gold... And Red...

 

Hi!

The start of a new season... and my favourite one at that!

As we fall into Autumn, as we step into the pumpkin spice, apple-picking, corn maze, no bugs, leaf-piling, as we take walks in the crisp air, feeling the need for a bit of a jacket, as we do all of this, let's take notice and be grateful for the privilege it is to be able to enjoy it.

Time slips by so fast, especially when we aren't taking the time to pay attention. 

So many around the world are living through what I'm sure feels like an endless nightmare right now.

The people of Ukraine, the reasonable citizens of Russia, the people of Iran, and the poor immigrants who were trafficked across state lines fuelled by the bad judgment, bigotry, and cold cruelty of a powerful, twisted few. 

There are so many who have been stripped of the privilege of walking amongst the beauty we, too often, take for granted. Let's not. 

I know it's become  cliche, but we really don't know what others are going through. We don't know their struggles, their dreams, what kind, or how deep their scars. So let's be kind to the people at the other end of the cash register. Let's show a little patience, a little compassion to everyone we encounter. 

We're all just doing our best with the tools we have at our disposal. The tools become more plentiful, stronger, more sophisticated, and more powerful as we grow and gain experience, but there isn't a person alive who has a full set that can handle all things, without issue. 

Back to basics. Don't hurt anyone on purpose. That's it. It's not complicated. 

Don't yell at people, don't scream at people, don't stop kids from playing in the park, don't get mad if you have to wait for fast food, don't throw a fit if someone makes a mistake, don't have a cow when you find people parking on a public street, even if it's on the street where you live. Let the kids skateboard, let sidewalk chalk, barbeques, and lemonade stands just happen. In other words, don't be a karen. Karening is a trend that has lived long past its expiry date. It's time for it to go away. 

Instead of trying to provoke the worst from each other, let's try to polish the shine in each other. Let's go back to making each other laugh, making each other smile. 

Let's quit wondering why people in the service industry aren't exactly jumping up and down to take abuse for minimum wage. It's not complicated. 

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Now, you'll have to excuse me, I hear some leaves calling my name...

May we really take in the beauty around us. It passes quickly, which makes it all the more precious. 

Iconic Majesty... For...Against... A Historic Passage...

Hi!

Although I've never really been a big Royal enthusiast, I have had a curiosity.

On one side, the whole idea of a "Royal Family" seems very old-fashioned. Propping up an elite ideal for a purpose that is kind of mystifying. I remain unclear about what they actually do. I know they travel, host dignitaries, participate in a lot of pomp and circumstance, follow a lot of rules that, in this day and age, seem downright archaic, and wave... a lot. 

They define the word "colonizer" very literally, muddying up anything good they may have done since. Although they remain a Sovereign entity in name only, for the most part, they remain revered in many countries. 

A twist on Stockholm syndrome? Or is it simply a way to reconcile with the past and move on? I'm not sure.

On the other side, some have a real distaste for what the Royal family represents, in the past, in the present, and moving forward. They resent this ultra-privileged tiny group of people living a jet-setting life, on the taxpayers' dime. Regular people struggling to make ends meet have to watch their hard-earned money to support a basically ancient concept. 

I think we love the idea of a real-life fairytale. Real kings, queens, princes, and princesses. The grandeur, the fantasy. But in all practicality, all those homes, the castles, the space, the land, would, if put to a different use, could solve a big chunk, if not the entire homelessness problem in England. 

I, for one, am torn. 

I love the fairytale. The writer in me loves the romance of it all. 

The practical wife, Mom and Grandma in me feels it's ridiculous for so few to live in spaces that could so easily house so many vulnerable people who need it so desperately. 

That being said, Queen Elizabeth II, had the weight of the crown thrust upon her head at an age that most kids now, are struggling to find the wherewithal to adjust to adulthood. She didn't ask for it. She had no control over the circumstances of her birth any more than any of us.

We play the cards we are dealt. 

Some get a royal flush, others dealt a complete hand of jokers. Equal but different, it all depends on the game you choose to play. 

We are at the cusp of another change of season. The incredible colours are again prominent, giving us the heads up of what's to come. 

We know what's in store will likely hold a resemblance to the past, but will bring new adventure, as well. 

We all need to carry the weight of whatever crown we are given. We do, though, get to choose what that looks like. Life is going to happen, regardless of our level of worry. I refuse to believe that we are on this earth to take everything seriously. Life is good, life can be hard, life is a series of unplanned adventures, with bits of on purpose in between. We might as well have as much fun as possible along the way. 

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Until next time...

May the majesty of the season not be lost in the day-to-day.

May we take a minute to appreciate the beauty of what's right in front of us, it's a true display.

May we find a way to live life lighter, not allowing the weight of our crowns to impede our delight.

May we give ourselves permission to let things go, laugh more, play more, flip the dark to light. 

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Last Wedding Of The Summer....

 

Hi! 

Well, that's a wrap! (At least for this summer)

We had the honour of providing the music for one last wedding of the summer this Labour Day weekend.

Special moments shared in an incredible, historic venue.

You know, we've been DJing, and putting on karaoke shows for about 23 years now, and weddings remain my favourite event. Two families, shared friends, childhood friends, and brand new friends collide, creating magic.

As we observe from our little corner of the space, the love and support aimed directly at the new couple, the clinking of glasses to prompt a kiss, the first dances, the little ones chasing the lights as they too dance across the floor, the hugs, the laughter, the absolute pure joy, we get to witness humanity in a way that really matters. 

Yes, there can be tension, as everyone wants their wedding to be perfect. Some stress out over this more than others, but it's something that simmers as all the planning, all the preparation, all the decisions about the special day are being made. That stress can sometimes, bleed into the day itself.

The execution of the vision.

As an objective observer of more weddings than I can count over the past 20 some odd years, I've come to understand a few things.

If you'll indulge me, I'd like to share a few of these things in the hopes to relieve some future couples and their parent-type people of a few grey hairs. 

Ready? Here goes.

The music used during your ceremony only needs to mean something to you... the couple getting married. There is no such thing as right or wrong music. Five minutes after the ceremony is over, the odds of your guests remembering what songs were chosen are slim to none. Very few people really care. Your guests are there for you, to watch you exchange vows that are meaningful to you, to bear witness to your commitment. 

When you stress over centerpieces, flowers, and decorations, please keep in mind that your guests will remember how the room made them feel much more than they remember the specific decor. Whether it's a dollar store candle sitting on 50 cents worth of glittery confetti or an elaborate 4 ft vase filled with imported flowers and diamonds, the vibe of the room is what sticks. 

To save yourself a ton of panic, just know that things will not go according to plan. At least not everything. And that's okay. In fact, it's awesome. I've seen some of the most special moments, the most precious moments happen when things go "wrong." Those are the things that create the best memories, the best stories. 

Make sure you are planning the wedding you really want, within the budget you have. Overspending on a wedding does not guarantee a successful marriage. We've all seen it happen. It's not about how much you spend, it's about making sure you and your guests have a great time. A great time doesn't always have to cost an arm and a leg. 

Wedding traditions Shmedding traditions! Throw the bouquet... or don't. Toss the garter... or don't. Have a cake... or don't. Have toasts... or don't. Have a bridal party... or don't. I think you get what I'm getting at. Don't get caught up in what you think is expected. 

Don't send an invitation to anyone who would be surprised to get one. If we get invited to a wedding, and my first thought is, why are they inviting us? We shouldn't have received one. Trim your guest list, accordingly. No law says you have to have a big wedding just for the sake of having a big wedding. 

And finally? Allow yourself to enjoy your day. Be present in it. It passes in a blink. What's going to happen will happen whether you stress about it or not. The people present are there to celebrate you. Let them. 

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Well, I hate to write and run, But I'm getting ready for a visit with my mom. A few days of spending time with a pretty dang important person. 

See ya next time. 

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May every newly married couple understand that they have just created an incredible team.

May they see that through life's shit storms, it has to be a given that on each other you can lean.

May you understand that marriage in real life is nothing like in the movies or on tv.

May you understand that your spouse will, and at times, simultaneously, make you smile and make you seethe. 

May you fully understand to have a good partner, you need to be one.

May you find a way, even when it's dark, even when it feels impossible, to have fun.

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Equality For All Oppreses No One...

Hi!

The top image is something that has been making its way around social media. I saw it. I read it. I understood why it is circulating. I know from experience, like pretty much every female on the planet, the importance of it. It also sits on my soul like an infected lesion.

When and where exactly do we live? Why are we still having to walk around like we live in a post-apocalyptic war zone?!

So I fixed it. My remedy, the bottom image. 

I recently had the pleasure of chatting with some back-to-school kids. The subject of clothes, what's allowed and what isn't, came up.

What I quickly discovered, are the lopsided rules when it comes to what female students are, and are not permitted to wear, compared to the free reign the males seem to have by comparison. Still. In 2022!

Please tell me when the females on this planet will cease to be responsible for males' attitudes and actions. 

Please tell me at what point we stop forcing females to curb their behavior and start making males control theirs? 

I mean, it's really not hard. Our demands are simple. There really is only one.

Don't hurt us. 

Predatory behavior needs to be treated like what it is. Poison.

Predatory behavior needs to be called out. Every. Single. Time.

It's not funny. It's not cute. The wink wink nod nod bullshit needs to stop.

We felt the need to teach our daughters to physically defend themselves. And, it's a good thing we did, because every one of them has had to use those skills at least a few times. 

Not just once.

I've had to. 

Every female I know over the age of 13 has had to either physically defend themselves, or use evading tactics to get themselves out of sketchy situations.

The women reading this will know what that means. 

Laughing something off even though it makes your stomach turn.

Being friendly when everything in you wants to be anything but.

Maneuvering around a crowded space, shrinking yourself as small as possible, as to not draw unwanted attention.

Answering 'greetings' from slimy douchebags, as to not trigger said douche into escalating the situation into something that becomes dangerous. 

Having to befriend groups of safe-looking strangers, as not to have to deal with the guy following you. 

Covering up our bodies whether we want to or not, because we are somehow responsible for grown men's lack of self-control. 

I can't even put into words how pissed off I am that my granddaughters and nieces are still having to deal with this crap.

Why have men not evolved past this neanderthal bullshit?

Why? Because they have not been required to do so.

Well, the time is long past due. And it's not the responsibility of women to make it happen. At least not directly.

Mothers... teach your sons. Teach them how to have healthy, partnerships with women. Equal relationships. Teach them boundaries.

Fathers... teach your sons. First, unlearn all of the crap definitions of manhood that have enveloped you your whole life, then teach those lessons. Every time you get the urge to wink wink nod nod, stop it. Be aware of it, and stop it. Read some books, take some classes, talk to women about this, do your homework, and evolve. And then... call out predatory behavior... always.

Mothers... teach your daughters. Teach them to take up space. Teach them to wear what makes them light up. Teach them that is never their job to make themselves smaller or less than to appease a male ego. Teach them to be everything they want to be, never compromising their shine because a boy can't handle it. Teach them to be their brilliant, caring, loud selves.

Fathers... teach your daughters that boundaries are theirs to make, and theirs alone. Teach them what respect looks like. Teach them how to never settle. Teach them that they are the ones who decide if, when, and how they have sex. Teach them that pressure is not foreplay. Be the kind of man you would wish upon your daughters. Be the kind of man you want your son to become. 

Regardless of sex or gender teaching basic human respect for all people is parenting 101.

Do it. 

Teach kindness instead of competition. Teach them that lifting others up does not diminish them. Equality for all oppresses no one. 

I for one am tired, and I simply refuse to accept crap behavior from men for one more day.

I'm done. 

I thank the universe every single day that I found and married one of the good ones. 

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May we finally be allowed to quit looking over our shoulders.

May we finally be able to let down our guard, breathe, be free.

May every predator be put in his place every single time his urges bubble to the surface.

May my granddaughters not have to walk with their keys between their fingers.

 

Not Every Child Has Someone Who Is Finding It Hard To Let Them Go...

 

Hi! 

So, this is what it looks like to be excited to go back to school.

She's six. She's going into grade one. She got a brand new pencil case, a fresh haircut, and a new outfit. 

She's the youngest of our grandbabies.

So many will be sending their firstborn babies into the big world of education within the next week or so, and it's hard.

So many will be sending their youngest off to a world where, for the first time, they will be at the mercy of virtual strangers, and it's hard. 

So many will be sending their offspring off to university/college very soon, if they haven't left already, and it's hard. 

So many will be sending their littles off to daycare for the first time, and it's hard.

It's supposed to be. 

If it's not, check your connections. You might find you need to reboot a thing or two.

So many things about parenting are hard. 

When they are babies, we obsess over every detail of their every bodily function. Is everything happening often enough? Too often? Is their pee too yellow, not yellow, is there enough of it? Same with their poop! 

Are we feeding them too much, or not enough? When should we introduce solid food, what should it be? Do we give them eggs? Meat? Peanut butter? There are soooooo many opinions! 

Then, they get sick for the first time. Do they need to go to the doctor? The hospital? Are we just being paranoid? Should I give them some over-the-counter medicine? What kind? Is it safe? Should I ask? Who should I ask?

Then comes daycare, elementary school, middle school high school, and then their choices become completely their own. We no longer get a vote. 

 

And, that is when everything goes as close to plan as possible. The thing is, nothing ever does.

And that's okay. 

Nobody gets through life without any scars. Yes, we try to protect them from the big things, the things that can be life-altering in the worst possible ways. We try to teach them to be kind, to be generous, to do the right thing, especially when it's hard.

We quickly discover that our real job as parents is to show up. To be far enough away to allow decisions to happen, but always close enough to catch them when they fall. This exercise is very literal in the beginning, becoming more and more metaphorical as they grow. We try to teach by example how to get back up when life throws you to the ground. We try to teach them to be a good friend without becoming a doormat. We try to show them how to care for themselves. We teach them that most bad decisions aren't fatal. You can recover. It might not be pretty, it might hurt, but you can.

We try to teach them to give of themselves without losing themselves.

Are there times when they drive us crazy? Of course!

Are there times we question every single parenting decision we've made? Of course!

Are there times we feel more like the manager of a team of drunk, hyper, pissed-off badgers than an actual parent? Of course!

Are there times we wouldn't trade for anything? Absolutely! Those are what we hold closest when we reminisce, they outshine the hard things a million times over. 

Not every child has someone who is finding it hard to let them go.

Every child should.

There are little ones living in chaos, in violence, in neglect.

There are kids who are living in foster care, feeling shuffled.

There are kids aging out of foster care, with no one to help them navigate what comes next. 

It's impossible to dream if you are too busy just surviving.

We have options. 

We can look away and pretend we don't know this, don't see this, we aren't aware.

Or....

We can help. In big ways, in small ways. We can do it anonymously, or through big gestures. We can reverse porch pirate where we know there is a need. We can donate to shelters. We can give our time and money to charities that support at-risk youth. 

We can help. 

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May you smile at everyone you meet, you never know the lift it may bring.

May you help give someone the gift of space to dream, to dance, to sing. 

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His Veil Of Protection Grows Rice Paper Thin...

 Hi!

Well, it looks like Karma's bad side just might be taking up residence on the shoulders of the guy who thought he could shoot somebody on 5th Ave and get away with it. 

To be fair, I guess he said he could do it without losing support from the people he fleeces of their hard-earned money, and, I mean, he hasn't lost all of them, but the shots of his 'rallies', are looking more and more like a dive bar at closing time on a Tuesday, but there are those that are still attending. 

His crown of victimhood is slipping. The truth is a stubborn thing, and always, even if it takes a while, demands to be heard, recognized, and accepted. It doesn't matter how hard he stamps his feet, how many names he calls people, how loud he cries his 'oh poor me,' how many threats he makes, the truth is getting deeper, denser, and will, inevitably, overtake his rhetoric. 

Investigations of this magnitude can't happen without evidence, and a lot of it. It wouldn't get past the first judge, grand juries would not be able to be assembled, and warrants could not be obtained. 

It's only a matter of time now. 

Prosecutors, in all of these investigations, are being very careful to dot every i and cross every t, making sure they have everything before moving forward. 

In the meantime, the grand orange buffoon can't seem to help himself. He can't seem to take advantage of his right to remain silent, and in doing so, is NOT helping his case, or, I guess, cases, plural. 

He keeps demanding things be made public, like that's going to make him look BETTER. He sends not-so-veiled threats to the DOJ, like that's going to help.

He implies that if the law holds him accountable there will be harsh consequences. Well, maybe if he would just tell the people that believe his crap the truth, come clean, and just stop criming, that would go a long way in calming people down. Lowering the temperature, so to speak. 

He wants to expose witnesses, and law enforcement so that his violent followers can cause harm.

Whatever happened to backing the blue? 

He knows he's done. He has to. He doesn't know what will hit first, the civil case in New York, the case in Georgia, or his Espionage and related charges. Maybe they will all crash down on him at once.

It's going to be the epic takedown of a narcissistic, misogynistic, wannabe tough guy that has spent his entire adult life abusing others without consequence, and I am here for it. I'm here for all of it. 

It's been a long old climb, and it's not over yet.

But, I for one, see storms over the horizon for pathetic Donnie, and his veil of protection grows rice paper thin. 

As the walls close in on those who deserve it most, life goes on.

Ukraine is still fighting for her life.

Mother Nature is still flexing her power.

People are still dying of Covid.

Little ones are getting excited about the new school year.

Grown-ups are getting excited about the new school year.

Babies are taking their first steps, and speaking their first words.

Sunsets are still breathtaking.

Most people are still kind and good. 

Joy and laughter are still there for the taking. 

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May you get excited.

May you feel real joy.

May you give yourself permission to have fun.

May you see that life doesn't always need to be serious. 

May you set aside the heaviness, and allow the light to touch your soul. 

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