It's Icicle Season!

 

Hi!

So it's officially icicle season! 

We are up to twelve hours between sunrise and sunset, there is a bit of warmth in the sun, and the commercials for allergy medications and beach body diets are airing incessantly. Always a sure sign that winter is on its way out. 

Just to be clear, any body is a beach body. Period. Don't allow yourself to be deprived of sun and sand because some people are ignorant.

Don't let the ignorance of others dictate what you do. So march your butt to wherever you want to go, wearing whatever you want to wear, and enjoy. Put yourself in the pictures, and not always at the edge. You're allowed to be in the centre. You deserve to be up front just as much as anyone. 

Ignore the "looks." Everyone in the double-digit size range will know exactly what I'm talking about. You get them in lingerie stores, "skinny" clothing stores, restaurants, you recognize that crap from a mile away. Sadly.

We live in a society in which size discrimination is one of the only kinds that remains unprotected. In the workplace, in travel, in comedy, in all facets of the entertainment industry.If you think I'm exaggerating, answer me this. When was the last time you saw a movie, tv show, reality show wherein a female considered "overweight" was the star. The love interest that wasn't fetishized or used as a drunken mistake of a one-night stand? Where she was given a seriously romantic role, without gimmicks? I'm guessing if you can think of any, you'd be able to count them on one hand. 

Why does being small remain the goal? Why has it not yet shifted to health? Why is it still being assumed that a person is somehow unhealthy simply because they aren't small? And of course, the standards are very different depending on gender. That's a given. Sadly. 

I remember, way back in the day, after having my first two babies 11 months apart, trying to lose that baby weight. I mean I was 21, my good friend had just had a baby too, we were going to do this together. She, my friend, a very petite person. Me? Not so much. 

But, we started counting calories. My hubby worked away from home for weeks at a time. I had my babies, and the littles I cared for in my dayhome, so I used whatever 'free' time I had to exercise. So here we were, I was consuming about 600 calories a day, chasing babies, and working out vigorously about 3 hours a night. (After I had gotten the kids were to bed)

Not surprisingly, I lost weight. I was also fainting a couple of times a week, and even with all of that, the smallest I could force my body to be was a size 10. Still in the double-digit category. 

I was heading down a dangerous path, quite innocently, with the naivety of someone who had never heard of an eating disorder. I thought I was doing the right thing. After all, my friend was doing okay, she didn't have the same effects. So, of course, I blamed myself for my body betraying me, again.

What saved me from who knows where that path may have lead? Getting pregnant with our third baby. At my first doctor's visit, I was read the riot act about my diet and exercise routine. Thankfully. 

So, that came to an end. 

With age, came wisdom. The wisdom to understand that everybody is different. That every body is different. My body was not designed to be small. It was designed to be strong as hell. I've been able to out-lift, out-carry, and physically outwork almost every male I've ever worked with. My body was designed to carry and give birth to four healthy babies. 

I did my very best to help our daughters to have a healthy body image. I tried not to let them see when I wasn't feeling confident. I did my best to not allow my own trauma demons rear their ugly heads and get a vote in determining our girls' self-image. 

Was I successful? You'd have to ask them. But, I hope I, at the very least, helped mitigate the damage that society throws, and didn't contribute to it. 

Society needs to do better. The medical community needs to do better. Teachers, parents, extended family, and peers, need to all do better.

Dear medical community. BMI charts are not accurate. 

According to it, my friend and I should weigh the same. She and I are roughly the same height and age. So, according to the BMI chart, we should weigh the same, right? 

Okay, but not possible. She is very petite. My skeleton very likely weighs more than she does. If you use the BMI chart as a guide, her weight is considered healthy, and mine is not. Any guesses which of us has blood pressure issues? Well, it's not me. 

So yeah, perception is not reality, at least not always. 

So, I guess, my point is this. 

Do your best to eat well. Get up and move. Sleep. Spend some quality time doing absolutely nothing. Hug your family and friends. Wear whatever you like to wear. Go where you want to go. 

Enjoy! After all, it's icicle season!

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May you see beyond the tutorials and Instagram pics, as you gaze in the mirror.

May you gaze in the mirror, and smile, and mean it.