Summer Is Here! Let's Gooooooooo!!!!

 Hi!

So, school is out, and the summer of 2024 has officially begun, depending where you live, of course. In parts of the world winter has just started, but, unfortunately, I have yet to have had the honour of travelling to any of those places, so I can only speak from personal experience. Dang it! Hopefully... someday!

So, anyway...

Now what?

Well, here, it's going to be a busy summer of celebrations! 

Coming from a huge family has its perks. The month of July (and first couple of days of August) alone contains a wedding, a celebration of a 50th wedding anniversary, and a kick-ass family reunion.

This does not include the fact that 3 out of our 4 grandbabies are going to be hanging out here for most of the summer. So there are definitely going to be some adventures and, very likely, some misadventures to be had, for sure! I mean, it's going to be me and the munchkins... without any type of real supervision...soooooo.....

I will have to do grown-up stuff as far as work goes, but the rest of the time... I'm predicting the invention of some new ice cream-related desserts, some unconventional backyard games, water fights, and exploring yet undiscovered ways to waste perfectly good time doing only fun things. 

We only get so many summers. How many do you think you have left? Now, are those guaranteed? Absolutely not. 

Not all of us can afford, or have time for actual, planned-out holidays. Some of us have to fly by the seats of our pants and grab fun wherever and whenever we can. We have to be creative, inventive, and resourceful. 

Just remember, not every minute needs to be filled with activity. Let the kids get bored, now and then, they'll think of things to do. Follow up every "I'm bored" with a "There's always a toilet to clean." You will be amazed at how quickly they find ways to entertain themselves. 

Activities are fantastic, but they don't have to fill every waking moment. 

If you are summering on a budget, just remember a ton of adventures are free. Backyard camping, nature walks, scavenger hunts, bike rides, making sidewalk art, playing catch, special movie nights, the list is pretty endless, really.

Please just remember to participate. Don't just be the one organizing the activities, meals, snacks, and adventures. Dig in. The memories you'll create by fully being in it will far outweigh the quality of chores completed, particulars of the kinds of meals, or timing of snacks. The fun, the time, the moments, are far more important than schedules. 

So, to review.

Ditch schedules whenever and wherever possible.

Eat when hungry, sleep when tired, embrace fun in between. Repeat.

Bake some cookies, stock up on popsicles, watermelon, ice cream, sunscreen, bug spray, and bandaids. 

Summer is Here! Let's Goooooooooo!!!

Happy Graduation......s!

Hi! 

The time of year is upon us that celebrates graduations. 

Graduating from pre-school to big kid school, graduating elementary school to head into the experience of high school, graduating high school to either enter the work world, or go on to some sort of secondary education, graduating from that secondary education into the working world... for the most part this marks the end of the 'graduations' that get marked with any kind of flourish. 

They are amazing milestones, but, by no means the last that deserve celebration.

Life is a neverending series of graduations. Personally, I think we should get better at celebrating more of them. 

If we live it right, we never stop graduating.

So......

Dear Grads...

Sit in what brought you this far. Some had to work harder than others to get here. 

Some sail through, excelling easily in pretty much everything thrown their way, receiving awards and accolades for their efforts. 

Others grit through, struggling with learning challenges, neuro-spicy tendencies, social adversities, and receive little or no recognition for the hurdles they had to clear to get where they are.

Still others ride in the middle, getting through, but not without obstacles. 

Some do everything right, doing their very best, but miss the mark, leaving without any brass ring.

Some suffer circumstances, through no fault of their own, that make reaching these first milestones impossible.

It's not about who gets the awards and scholarships. Not in the long run. It's not just about grades, or athletic accomplishments. It's about learning how to learn... and not just what's in the textbooks. 

It begins by learning how to interact and take instruction with people outside of our family home. Teachers, other students, unfamiliar people. We begin to learn about what vibes we gravitate toward, see how others react to different situations, we begin to understand the concept of collaboration. 

We learn to put some trust in our instincts about people. We start to develop likes and dislikes of different subject matter. Learning too, that not particularly enjoying a subject, by no means excuses you from learning said subject. 

If we are very lucky we make great friends, learn how to be one, and find things that light us up even if only for a while. But, again, if we are very lucky, we find things that carry on throughout our lifetime. Things like music, drama, writing, math, chemistry, art and/or some combination thereof. 

We learn to work with people who don't like to do much, but enjoy taking credit. We learn the difference between leading by being an asshat and leading through actual leading. 

We learn about building relationships, the diversity of personalities, and how it all fits together in a chaotic mosaic of beautiful humanity. 

We graduate from student, to part of the workforce.

Graduate from child to adult.

Graduate from things that don't work for us to things that do.

We graduate from a diploma in self-consciousness to holding a Masters Degree in indifference toward the opinion of others.

We graduate from thinking we know everything to understanding just how little we do.

Then, if we are smart, we graduate into the understanding that we are never finished. 

None of us get to where we are without scars. Walk gently through this life, some are better at hiding their scars than others, but they are still there. 

Graduations!

Celebrate all of them, all of it, you deserve it!

 

Happy Father's... Um... Dad's Day!!!!

 

Hi! 

Happy Father's Day to all the people who are able to cross the threshold from father to Dad. 

When it comes to being a Dad, biology has little to do with it. DNA may make you a father, but how you spend your time, makes you a Dad. 

If your kids can feel safe talking to you about ANYTHING, you are a DAD.

If you are willing to sacrifice toys to put food on the table, you are a DAD.

If you are willing to, even after a long brutal day, go bug hunting in the backyard, you are a DAD.

If you are able to tell your kids how proud you are, how much you love them, never leaving without a hug, you are a DAD.

If you give you kids space to make mistakes, and are still there to catch them when shit happens, you are  a DAD. 

If you can apologize for your mistakes, sincerely, and truly learn from them, you are a DAD.

If your kids know that no matter what time, where, or how, if they need you, you will drop everything and do everything in your power to do what needs to be done, you are a DAD. 

If you are a good example of how to treat others and how you should allow others to treat you, you are a DAD.

If your kids and grandkids can be the most complete and authentic versions of themselves around you without masking, or hiding any part of who they are, and feel not only safe, but loved and protected, you are a DAD.

If your 10-year-old granddaughter feels safe telling you all about her puberty info health class including what, how, and why, the subject felt uncomfortable, looking for reassurance, and you give it without hesitation,  you are not just a Dad, you are Grand-Dad. 

So to all the DADS out there, the single ones, the not-single ones, the shared-custody ones, the ones to whom this is second nature, and the ones who have to work at it... hard... Happy Dad's Day.

It's not always going to be easy... because it's not supposed to be. You are helping to guide a human(s) through the treacherous journey of growing up. You are trying to teach them the things you feel they need to know to do it well, all while doing your best not to do irreparable damage of any kind by spilling your own childhood trauma into the mix. That's it... no big deal...No pressure. 

To my Honey, who is all the things a DAD needs to be, and then some, just know you are loved, appreciated, and are a great DAD.  

If you are lucky enough to have a DAD in your life, make sure he knows how much he means to you. 

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Rainbows Aren't Scary...Really

 

Well folks, Pride month is here!

There are a few things I'd love to clear up for those who believe that Pride itself isn't necessary, let alone a month to celebrate it.

First up, the myth that Pride celebrations' only purpose is to rub queer relationships, queer existence in your face.

Celebrating the queer community is absolutely necessary, and will remain so for as long as there are people who want to treat those in the community as 'less than.' 

For as long as there are people who want to say derogatory things, call demeaning names, tell cruel jokes, treat people with disrespect, discriminate, withhold healthcare, refuse services, or so much as give subtle side-eye, it is necessary. 

If you don't want Pride Month to have to exist, evolve already. The rest of us are tired of waiting for you. 

Secondly, we need to celebrate everyone who is undervalued. Any swath of humanity that has been, or is currently being oppressed, if steps are being made to control them or deprive them of basic rights, if they are being targeted in any negative way for simply trying to live like every person of privilege, absolutely needs to be pumped up, supported and celebrated. We need to, so they know in their souls that they matter just as much as everyone else. Cheers need to be louder, longer, and filled with a sincerity strong enough to be a soul-filling antidote to all of the poison that is thrown at them. 

Thirdly, true acceptance and inclusion are concepts that are long overdue. Good people are good people, regardless of what pronouns they choose, no matter their biology, no matter who they love (as long as they are of age, and consenting), no matter how they dress, the hobbies they have, if they do or don't wear make-up, none of that determines character. How you treat people does that. It's been my personal experience with the people I've met that are a part of the queer community, or other oppressed groups, really, show a bigger tendency and capacity for empathy and compassion because of how they've been treated. 

Fourthly, the queer community has a right to exist, survive, and thrive. They need to be allowed to live in peace to love, marry if they choose, become parents if they choose, wear what they choose, be called what they choose, all of it, without hindrance. It's not hard. 

So those who want to rant and rave about rainbow crosswalks, flags, hell, rainbows in general, just grow up. It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to change your heart. It's okay to change. 

For those who choose o use religion as their weapon of choice when it comes to the queer community, check yourself.

If the God you pray to would encourage, hell, require, treating others with cruelty, exclusion, judgment, disdain, repression, depriving them of marriage and parenthood, all to earn a ticket to his paradise, I'd rethink.

If God truly is love, it doesn't come with caveats. He didn't create these beautiful humans to be targets of your disdain. 

If your religion requires you to exclude others, find a new religion. 

If your religion believes it has all, and the only correct answers when it comes to faith, find a new religion.

If your religion asks you to disown, punish, or look down upon a loved one because they belong to the queer community, find another religion.

You see, when I think of some omnipotent being in charge of all things, what comes to mind is not an image of some white, straight guy with a beard. In my mind, they are a fabulous being full of colour, light and love. Gone are the fire and brimstone, the threats of damnation, all the talk of being born with strikes against us. I imagine a being that embraces all that they created with equal enthusiasm. That encourages kindness for kindness's sake, one that rewards it here on earth. A being that wants us to be gentle and generous of spirit because it's the right thing to do, not to stay on their good side. A being that allows hardships to show lessons to help us grow, not as some cruel punishment. A being incapable of cruelty for punishment's sake. 

Folks, Rainbows aren't scary. They aren't coming for you. They aren't after you. And no,they aren't trying to indoctrinate your children. Rainbows have been part of earth since there's been an earth, and so have all who live within it's colours. 

Relax. Someone else getting married, or wearing clothes they like, becoming parents, or changing their name affects you not even in the slightest. 

Rainbows aren't scary, no matter who tries to convince you otherwise. 

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