In the act, you work to stifle our screams, thereafter, you work to stifle our voice.
Remove your hand from our mouths and hear us...
When we tell you what happened to us, it exposes us.
It exposes us again, ripping open the soul-crushing wounds first inflicted at his hands.
Most times, we don't tell authorities, after all, it's our word against his. It's not like he did it in front of witnesses, it's not like he'll admit it.
Most times, we don't tell anyone. We have an innate instinct to somehow make it our fault. We must have been wearing the wrong thing, sending some sort of unintentional signal, went somewhere alone, went out at night, went for a run in a park. We wear the shame that was forced upon us, it's a heavy cloak of thorns we carry upon our shoulders.
If we do work up the courage to speak, if we are trusting you enough to tell you, hear us. Listen to us. Believe us. We wouldn't go through the pain of stripping our souls bear to pursue an untruth.
We know all too well the consequences that can come with speaking our truth. History has taught us well. We know we are looked at as a smear on his reputation. He's such a good guy. He's successful, he's good-looking, he's a track star, he's fill-in-the-blank. None of any of this means he is incapable of doing what he has done.
There are more of us than you know. We are your mothers, sisters, aunts, daughters and friends. We are the mostly silent warriors walking with the scars of mistrust, anxiety, and claustrophobia. These being the least of our wounds. Some of us come to suffer from depression, PTSD, eating disorders, addictions, and other forms of self-harm. Some of us simply don't survive.
Resist the urge to dismiss our voice, brushing it aside because we can't "prove" it. Resist the urge to reject our voice because we didn't tell right away. The paralyzing fear and humiliation that accompanies the telling, the courage it takes to do it anyway, deserves better, deserves sincere respect.
If you are among the privileged few who have been entrusted with someone's precious truth, tell them you believe them, and mean it.
We are failing our daughters because we are failing our sons.
There are some that still balk at teaching boys that empathy is strength, that nurturing is masculine, that a real man is sensitive, gentle and kind. They hesitate to teach that real courage is found in doing what is right, even if it's hard.
Dr. Christine Blasey Ford,
No matter what happens now, you were undoubtedly, by far, the most courageous person in that room. Your strength has reverberated further than you may ever really know, and will continue to do so long after the suits make their choices.
I heard you.
**************************
In the act, you work to stifle our screams, thereafter, you work to stifle our voice.
Remove your hand from our mouths and hear us...
Remove your hand from our mouths and hear us...
****************************************************************
May you remember that no matter where you are, or the time of day, they have no right.
May you know no matter what you wear, or what you drink, they have no right.
May you know no matter how you dance, or how you walk, they have no right.
May you see that no matter how you smile, or toss your hair, they have no right.
May you know, no matter if you are running, or sunbathing nude, they have no right.
May you remember no matter if you left your drink unattended, they have no right.
May you see that after a steak dinner, they have no right.
May you know that after unlimited dates, they have no right.
May you know that even after "I love you", they have no right.
May you see that even after a ring has landed, they have no right.
May you know that after an hour of foreplay, they have no right.
May you understand utterly and completely, they.. have.. no.. right.
May you see and understand, sir, you have no right, you may only ever enjoy the privilege with her complete consent.
May you see and understand, sir, even if culture screams in your ear otherwise, you have no right, none, her body, her choice, no is said, no is meant.***************************************************
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