I'm writing, once again, with a heavy heart.
The universe dimmed yesterday, as it lost the light that shone through the soft heart and sweet soul of our cousin, Marvin.
My memories of him are not near as many as I would love them to be, but the ones I do have are full of a lot of fun, some mischief, a ton of laughter, and will always be something I treasure.
A young man who lived a big life. A guy who didn't invite attention, not the loudest voice in the room, a guy who had a family who loved him deeply, his absence, a void that will never be able to be filled.
Death shows no discretion in who it chooses. It doesn't care how old you are, how loved you are, how many will miss you when you're gone. Sometimes it begins its capture while your heart still beats.
Alzheimer's is a stealthy thief, stealing bits at a time, barely noticeable at first, but then it is. It declares utter victory when your essence disappears.
Alzheimer's, Death's wicked henchman. You may strip them of who they are toward the end, then hand them over, body and soul. But then, oh, but then, they get to be free. No longer suffering from the fragmented memories that can stoke fear and confusion. Once again whole and at peace.
That's how I will remember Marvin. Eyes full of humour, a gentle kindness, a helpful heart. Was he perfect? I feel, even though we weren't close, we shared enough DNA for me to confidently say, not even close. But, I also know without a doubt that he was a really good human who deserved better than what he was dealt.
Death shows no discretion.
We never know what lies ahead. That's what is both thrilling and terrifying about life.
We get busy. We put things off. The places we wish to go, things we would love to do.
Go. Do the thing. See the place.
I know I have a bucket list that needs some checkmarks.
We get so busy getting through life, we miss out on really living a lot of it.
I look back and see everywhere I've yet to be.
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Until next time...
May those who feel this loss the deepest find comfort, find peace.
May you know there are no rules in grief, all in your own way, at your own pace.
May you help each other through, let the stories, tears and laughter flow.
May you, in time, be able to embrace the memories with less pain, no hurry, go slow.
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