Lessons Are The Goal, Not Just What Happens Along The Way...

 

Hi!

Well, it's graduation and wedding season, once again!

Two incredible, life-changing events that though not everyone experiences literally, most hit these milestones in some form or another. We graduate from one job to another, we have long-term relationships that aren't necessarily formalized on paper, but that doesn't make these horizons any less important, or meaningful. 

These events, though happy and exciting can also be stressful and challenging.

Graduation.

Whether you are graduating preschool, kindergarten, middle school, high school, college, university, switching jobs, or entering a new life chapter, you are facing a change which will require decisions. Of course, as a child, you generally have little input into what comes next, but once you hit that high school one, you shift from passenger, with that back seat driver confidence, to the driver. If you are very lucky you have support and some semblance of guidance if you want it, but the direction you take from here is on you. 

Luckily, very few decisions in life are actually, factually, life and death decisions.

That doesn't mean they aren't big, that they aren't important, or that they should be taken lightly, it just means if they are wrong, you can and will recover.

First, just know there is no possible way to get it all right. Nobody gets every decision right. That's impossible. What is "right" anyway? You will make some choices that end up biting you in the ass, it's inevitable. It's human. It's life. But, with every bite comes a lesson. With lessons, if we are wise, we learn. With learning, hopefully we do better for ourselves and those we love. 

Second, the biggest favour you can do for you is to be brutally honest with yourself. You alone know how deep you can dig, if you really are giving 100%, or where your true talents lie. Only you know for sure what you are capable of in life, love, community and career. This doesn't mean you need to have a deep understanding of this right off the jump. That would be insane. As you gain knowledge of the world, you also have the opportunity to soak in knowledge about yourself. You then can take that knowledge and run with it. 

Third, being uncomfortable is necessary. If you spend your entire life only doing what makes you comfortable, you can't grow. Comfort zones are self-imposed prisons that create limits where there need not be any. That doesn't mean you become wreckless, it just requires you to be brave. If we want to capture dreams, we need to first leave the boxes that have been built around us, first by others, then by us. 

Fourth, as you walk through life, if you are paying attention, you will discover just how much you don't know, and that lessons are the goal, not just what happens along the way. 

So celebrate this milestone, whatever it looks like in your life. New horizons are gorgeous!

Wedding.

Not everyone chooses to be married, some would like to be, but aren't, some are perfectly happy in a relationship without paperwork, but there are those who want to be married and are able to capture that dream. Some are lucky enough to find the desire for that commitment more than once in a lifetime. 

For transparency's sake, and for those who may be new to these ramblings, my hubby and I have been together for 38 years, and have been married for 36 of those. Yup, we were married in 1987, and I was 7 months pregnant with our second daughter on our wedding day. 

Coming from a very Catholic background, you can imagine, it was not exactly a stress-free period in our lives. 

Statistically, our marriage should have never happened, let alone be successful. We only knew each other for three months when I became pregnant with our first daughter. We were 19 and 21 years old. We had heavy opposition from my parents. We were poor as hell. We had four daughters by the time I had my 25th birthday. Statistically, we shouldn't exist as a happily married couple, but here we are, killin' it. 

Why do I tell you this? Because we are proof that life can work, regardless, or maybe in spite of the odds.

I am well aware that we are the exception and not the rule. But we are possible. 

For some, who choose to seek it, it can take a few tries to find that partner in life. Some find it, and lose their person through sheer tragedy, but are able to find someone to ride the waves with once again. Not a replacement, by any stretch, but someone to walk with going forward, a completely different relationship, but no less important.

Weddings can be stressful. They can challenge relationships surrounding the couple. There are hurdles when there are kids involved, no matter the age. Blending families can be tough, but I've seen it happen successfully and happily. This may be the exception, but it's possible. 

No matter what you choose, how you wish to walk this earth, do so with grace, empathy, kindness, acceptance, and compassion. Everyone is worthy of happiness.

Horizons. Both beautiful and mysterious, we can perceive hints as to what is just over them, but we can't know for sure until we leave our boxes and explore. 

New Horizons Are Gorgeous!