Teach Them That They Are Powerful...

                             

Hi!

Soooooooo, consequences.

As kids, they are tough to understand, hard to take, hard to adhere to, hard to swallow. They are necessary to guide our inexperienced littles toward empathy, compassion, and every other basic sense of right and wrong. 

Simple things like, don't hurt others on purpose. Be respectful of other people's boundaries. Be respectful of other people's belongings. Your words are powerful, use them wisely. 

As we get older, become teenagers, in part because of guidance or lack thereof, in part because of the way we are wired, we begin making bigger choices. Who we hang out with, what we do when we aren't around our parents or family, how we treat people when no one is looking... choices.

It is within this hormone-infused. finding our footing, wing-testing frame of time we tend to discover that there are certain situations, certain circumstances, certain conundrums, where we have to choose between right and wrong. We have to choose, knowing we might get away with it, at least in the short run. We have to choose if whether "getting caught" is the only thing that stops us from doing things we know we shouldn't. 

This is a crucial time for growth as a person. A time of deciding just what kind of person you what to be. Deciding how you want to walk through your life. Deciding what kind of example you want to be to those who look up to you. It's not easy, in fact, that's a huge understatement, it's hard as hell. 

Chances are, if, throughout your childhood, reasonable consequences for choices made were doled out with a steady and consistent hand, by the time you reach this point, unless it goes completely against the way you are wired, you have, at the very least, a fairly solid comprehension of how the world works.

Choices have consequences. Good choices tend to lead to good consequences. Bad choices, well, not-so-good consequences.

Nobody makes perfect choices throughout a lifetime. Not possible. But if we knowingly make decisions that affect ourselves and/or others in a negative way, the not-so-great consequences, even if not immediate, will eventually catch up to us.

Karma, for lack of a better name, can be a bitch, but can also be a blessing. Depends on your decisions. 

Does this mean bad things never happen to people who are inherently decent? Of course not. Because life isn't perfect.

Does this mean good things never happen to people who set the world on fire every chance they get? Nope on that one too. Not a perfect world.

Does this mean we just roll over and wait for Karma? Nope there too. That's why we have a justice system. It too, is far from perfect, but it does work, at least most of the time. It could use some huge improvements, and hopefully, they will come over time, but until then, it's what we've got.

So parents... Consistent, reasonable consequences, partnered with explanations, go a long way in helping your littles develop into good decision-makers. Allowing them to make small, negligible decisions at an early age helps them to understand the existence of consequences. 

It's important, this development, this growth. For without it, especially if a child is wired toward apathy, they can become self-involved, unempathetic people with little or no regard or respect for others. They tend to wrap themselves in the belief that the world and others in it, owe them. A living, loyalty, money, a place to live, a date, etc, etc, etc. 

Decency becomes something they look at with disdain in the rearview mirror. 

Developing empathy, decency, and kindness is harder for some, but weathering the headaches and heartaches to teach it is well worth it.

Teach them that they are powerful and they need to use those powers for good. 

Life is tough. The more people we have walking the planet who can be empathetic, kind, and accepting, the better off we will all be. 

***********************************************************

May we all help our littles become inherently decent bigs.