How Time Flies Under Ice Cream Skies...

 

Hi!

My how time flies!

Covered with ice cream skies we celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary. This year marks 39 years together and 37 married.

We met when we were 19 and 21, had four kids before we turned 25 and 27. We only knew each other for 3 months when I became pregnant with our first daughter. I came from a pretty strict Catholic family, so, to say there were some challenges when it came to family approval, would be an incredible understatement.

I'm telling you this for a reason. Statistically, we shouldn't still be here. Not as a happily married couple, anyway.

Has it been all rainbows and unicorns? Absolutely not! We have had every kind of struggle you can imagine. Loss of loved ones, money issues, parenting differences, just to name a very few.

We've grown up together, butting heads at times, getting through, coming back together, slowly discovering the healing we have been able to provide each other from our own childhood traumas. We've done our best, and continue to try our damndest not to poison our children and grandbabies with the fruits of those traumas. 

We have done some things consistently that, I think have helped a lot. 

We have always prioritized our relationship over jobs, over outside influences, over location, over everything. Maybe that stems from the "us against the world" start we had.

When we fight, we do so with purpose. Arguing toward a real solution and not in circles. Never calling names, or spewing garbage words that serve no purpose other than causing pain. 

We say the words. Never assume that the other just somehow knows what we are feeling, good or bad. 

It's been simultaneously, a lifetime, and the briefest flicker of moments. How time flies under ice cream skies. 

Relationships are really just a series of decisions. You have to make the ones that are right for you, both individually, and together. You have to know what's worth fighting for and when to cut bait.

You should never hold on to a romanticized fantasy version of any relationship. To be successful, reality, honesty, and trustworthiness have to be at the forefront... always. 

You should never have to be anything less than your complete and authentic self. You need to be able to be all of who you are, never having to shrink yourself or dull your shine. You will never love every eccentric quirk, but patience and acceptance are a thing, and besides, the bits that annoy you the most, someday, will also be the ones you miss the most.  

Nobody's perfect. Cherish the imperfections, forgive gaps in humanity unless they cross the line of actual cruelty.

Your partner should never make you feel worse in their presence. They should be your soft place to fall. Your safe space in the world. Your closest friend. The one you trust above all others. The one who lifts you when you need it, and keeps you grounded. They should be your partner in mischief, fun, and adventure, helping you to never take life too seriously. 

So it boils down to this...

We all have the power to inflict the most pain upon the ones who trust us most. Love means never pulling that trigger... no...matter...what. 

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