Hi!
Fancy centerpieces adorning the dining room table, a pristine yard, spotless lightswitches, door handles, fingerprint-free-fridges, absolutely no games of "how does a hand towel get this wet this fast," a complete absence of persistent mystery puddles in the bathroom, and absolutely no endless choruses of "I'm hungry."
This has never been something I've strived for. Good thing, because that's not my life.
My life is embracing the sticky, wiping the puddles, and keeping the laundry monster in check as I work our business from home.
A wet rag, an imaginative homemade snack arsenal, and some patience is all it takes. It always boils down to this, for me. What is our house for? What is our yard for? How do we want it to feel?
When the grandkids, kids, or anyone, for that matter comes to our house, what is more important? That it looks like a magazine cover, or that it feels like the hug you've been needing for a while?
How your home makes people feel, I think, is a definite reflection of how you make people feel, in general. I have one friend, in particular, whose home is spotless, modern, and absolutely fabulous, it should feel like you can't touch anything, and standoff-ish, but it makes me feel welcome, calm and completely at peace. I've been in homes that are decorated with every cozy option, yet feel cold.
It's easy to get caught up in decorating our homes according to whatever is trending, whatever the 'in' things are. Finding the stuff, then buying the stuff, doing everything we can so our homes don't get labeled the dreaded..."outdated."
Your home should be precisely as you like it. If that includes cleaning clean things, so be it. If it means putting off cleaning until you absolutely need to, so be it. If it's somewhere in between, that's great too. Just do yourself this favour.
Create the home that suits you and yours best. Not the one Instagram says you should, not the one you torture yourself over because of "what people might think."
Obsess over your yard, if that's what blows your skirt up, have a yard full of wildflowers, if that's what you prefer, hell, just have dirt, or cement, or all trees... that's the beauty of it.
Whatever you do, however you like to live, that's what's right for YOU!
We don't have to like or understand why people like what they like to embrace it without judgement. When we walk into someone's space, see a representation of how they see themselves, who the hell are we to tell them that there is something wrong with it?
They love what they love, and have every right to dress it up as they see fit. They don't owe anyone an explanation, they get to live in whatever way makes them happiest. It's not causing any harm, other than the odd lifted eyebrow that has no right lifting.
In case you missed it, this is about more than houses.
Whenever I hear or see choruses of "If you can't explain the way you live, or who you are as a person to me in a way that fits into my narrow way of perceiving the world, then you are just wrong, and don't deserve my respect or consideration." Don't kid yourself, those attitudes and beliefs are alive and well... It just makes me sad.
"Tolerance" is just a way to justify rejection.
No one wants to be "tolerated". Embrace, include, accept.
What if who you are was the 10%?
How would you want to be treated?
Tolerated, or embraced?
Would you like to have heinous acts attributed to you with no founding in fact? Would you like to be told that you should never be married or be a parent just because you love someone from a different gender? Would you like to be questioned regularly about if you are sure you are straight? When you "decided" to be straight, or cis-gendered?
Embrace without judgement.
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