Thursday, January 18, 2018

Let Me Menisplain It To You.........




Hi,



I'm writing this in the haze that generally follows a string of perimenopause-fueled bedtime hours laden with night sweats and insomnia.

I know there are many of you out there that understand completely what I'm talking about. The frustration and inability to talk your body into slumber can be mind-numbing. When a few of these nights string themselves together, it can start to feel like your body secretly hates you and is deliberately trying to drive you over the edge.

For those of you who are either too young, or too male to have experienced this fun little phenomenon, let me do you the solid of menisplaining it to you.

Imagine, if you will, a tiny, invisible tormentor who specializes in interrupting relaxation. This is typically accomplished through volleying from flooding your exhausted mind with worries, some real, some irrational, all stress-invoking, to cranking your inner boiler to the brink of detonation. Each and every time you begin to feel yourself relax, on the edge of drifting off, your minuscule menace hits again, each time, ramping it up a notch. This is repeated until you either give up and get up, or settle for laying in bed, fans going full blast, eyes held stubbornly shut, assisted by tears of stressed frustration.

When I asked Siri to take a selfie for these ramblings this morning, the Australian dude who does the voice-over work for her replied, "You've got to be kidding, are you sure?" Then he laughed.......Siri is an ass.

The other photo demonstrates why, without a doubt, I should never ever give up my day jobs to become a fish filleter! In case you don't recognize it, that's salmon. I swear I watched the youtube videos, and followed along like a good kid. Thank God the Queen canceled her plans to come for dinner! On the upside, it was very tasty, regardless of the hatchet job.

Filleting fish is just another one of those things that I have discovered, through the course of time, do not belong under the ol' strengths column on my resume.

Other things on that list?

* assembling things..... shelves, kinder surprise toys, display boxes, yeah, pretty much anything.
*sewing...... including patching, as I've been known to sew pockets shut, or sew things to the clothes I happen to be wearing.
*crafting.......this includes all types of painting, gluing, cutting, playdoughing,  sketching, hell, even etch-a-sketching and spirographing are a big ol' nope.

I'm sure more things belonging to this list lay in wait, yet to be discovered, and that I'm very likely forgetting a few things, but who could blame me after last night's hot date with my translucent, tormenting troll!


******************************************************

Before I go, I would like to thank everyone from all corners of the world who have purchased "Once Broken" for their Kindle and Kobo devices. This is my first digital experience, thanks for making it awesome!



Until next time........


May your sleepless nights be non-existent, or, at the very least, few and far between.
May your tormenting troll leave you alone, or, at the very least, not be so mean.

May your inner boiler break down, take a break, before it breaks your every will to smile.
May you, instead feel a constant cool breeze, blowing perfectly, for the next conceivable while.

May relaxing, restful sleep dominate your darkness, allowing you to awaken refreshed and rested.
May your frustration subside, your stress dissipate, evaporating, leaving you free, unfettered, untested.

**********************************************************************


Feel free to check out my children's titles and Once Broken on my website, Once Broken is also available on Kindle and Kobo!

www.margyreidbooks.com




















No comments:

Post a Comment